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fishead62 t1_j2ebg4y wrote

You’ve come to the right place: an old Texan. I’ll leave it to you make it sfw

  • Busier than a one-armed paper hanger
  • As useless as tits on a nun
  • As useless as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest
  • Dumber than a box of hammers 
  • They hid behind the door when God gave out brains
  • If they had a brain, they’d take it out play and with it
  • He’d complain about a blowjob
  • (on someone being very angry) They were foamin’ like a dog on a frog.

I’ll come back if I remember more.

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Cth43 OP t1_j2esmo8 wrote

This is what I am looking for

2

rvarjg t1_j2f60rg wrote

Don’t listen to that guy. He couldn’t find his ass with both hands.

He’s a few fries short of a happy meal. A sandwich short of a picnic.

He ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. Dumb as a bag of hair.

How am I doing? I’m as fine as frog hair.

He’s getting too big for his britches.

That guy will hold onto a nickel so tight, he’ll make the Buffalo burp.

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rvarjg t1_j2f6a6h wrote

Hell, I’d piss on a spark plug if I thought it’d do any good.

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bull304 t1_j2far1l wrote

Sharp as a basketball, that guy.

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