Submitted by Manfrenjensenjen t3_11cjoky in funny
Comments
jordantask t1_ja3pzrj wrote
The best part of hunting JC is he’s back in 3 days so you can do it again.
Woodandtime t1_ja469vu wrote
Catch and release
[deleted] t1_ja4ja1z wrote
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3-DMan t1_ja4zjfe wrote
No spawn camping JC!
Psychological-Set125 t1_ja6yxlo wrote
🎵Always look on the bright side of life🎶
TheIowan t1_ja4ao39 wrote
Nothing some 4"x4" timbers and a framing nailer can't take care of.
FirstConsul1805 t1_ja5yo4x wrote
The Romans did it first, and they were masters of the 4x4 even before JC got it
GANDORF57 t1_ja6nk8a wrote
"Have you found Christ?"
"Yup, but we lost his footprints at the river."
[deleted] t1_ja4447c wrote
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GodsBGood t1_ja4a183 wrote
This makes no sense at all when Putin is still kicking it.
anythingbuttaken t1_ja3hit9 wrote
Headshot or he respawns.
KorgX3 t1_ja3ini5 wrote
Double-tap. Don't forget He's a zombie.
anythingbuttaken t1_ja3ird9 wrote
Oh sweet Jesus that’s right! ALWAYS double tap!
Sam-Gunn t1_ja3zdbj wrote
>Oh sweet Jesus that’s right!
I think what you mean is: Sweet zombie Jesus!
anythingbuttaken t1_ja4cwpf wrote
Yes, yes that’s clearly what I meant. 😀
[deleted] t1_ja6uyyp wrote
I think this has been argued before, but he can't be a zombie because he retains his living mind and intelligence after death. He'd be a lich instead. To kill those you need to destroy their phylactery.
Cynykl t1_ja6xpgt wrote
Lich make no sense he was purportedly a priest not a wizard.
Zombie make more sense. Not the night of the living dead zombie but the Serpent and the Rainbow zombie. Voodoo zombies are killed and rise a few days later to bust their way out of the grave. They have the same mental capacity that they had in life.
[deleted] t1_ja7yy4k wrote
Good point.
Evening-Aggressive t1_ja6y0ds wrote
You make a good point, but most people don’t know D&D😄
spiritbx t1_ja3wll4 wrote
Headshot won't work, you need to find and destroy a lich's phylactery to kill it.
Bind_Moggled t1_ja5z40t wrote
It does take him 3 days to respawn, at least.
fubes2000 t1_ja5cb8d wrote
Server admin keeps rezzing him.
thieh t1_ja3dfxv wrote
Well, he died for our sins and there are new sins since then. Time to clean that up too.
KittenLaserFists t1_ja3e73d wrote
Does it have to be The Jesus or will any guy named Jesus do?
[deleted] t1_ja4j5e3 wrote
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Voodoo_Dummie t1_ja3uwap wrote
Tsk, amateurs. That gun is clearly intended for deer, and the right tool is important.
You should use a nail gun.
Shadowrider95 t1_ja3itd1 wrote
It’s pronounced “Hey-soos”!
natenate22 t1_ja55ww5 wrote
It's a big seller in northern Texas
FirstConsul1805 t1_ja5yrxd wrote
Zeus: What do you want? I thought people stopped believing in me?
bearsheperd t1_ja6c9uh wrote
Zeus: you called?
NotADoctor108 t1_ja3i0i6 wrote
What's the waiting period on a Jesus hunting license?
Plenty_for_everyone t1_ja4s4hg wrote
Three days.
Turdmonkey2 t1_ja4znox wrote
10% tithing at your local sports store, you get a permit and a lent season sticker.
FirstConsul1805 t1_ja5yuge wrote
5 talents of gold, take it or leave it.
[deleted] t1_ja66i2f wrote
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quadmasta t1_ja3gbkt wrote
Damnit, it went through the holes in his hands
TK_Bender t1_ja7fkc2 wrote
Call it a trick shot and pretend it was intended.
kaewberg t1_ja3dmn7 wrote
Jesus must die!
Lee1138 t1_ja4himw wrote
"Have you found Jesus?"
"No, sucker is really sneaky."
WarWonderful593 t1_ja3ibh8 wrote
Nailed that sucker!
kungfu_panda_express t1_ja3lnr5 wrote
Must be Roman.
FirstConsul1805 t1_ja5ywyi wrote
Roma Invicta!
anon2282 t1_ja3pq5q wrote
Is this Pontius Pilate's bumper sticker or something?
Significant_You_2437 t1_ja4m6hh wrote
So mean. He gave up his weekend for your sins.
samuelgato t1_ja3i269 wrote
"and other zombies"
fatherfrank1 t1_ja3pw74 wrote
Unfortunately, Jesus was born to haunt.
waldo06 t1_ja3li5j wrote
Finally a good time to use the railway spike rifle from Fallout!
Snoo_88763 t1_ja4t1as wrote
Choo! Choo!
theguineapigssong t1_ja4xz3q wrote
Shouldn't that be a nail gun?
Piglet-Witty t1_ja3eyzg wrote
He will respawn in 3 day
philippe404 t1_ja3fj0m wrote
Only worked once..
spiderplex t1_ja3hv07 wrote
Pussy ran off before we could try again
Puzzleheaded-Ad-5511 t1_ja3ig1n wrote
Problem is, you gotta kill him again in three days.
OGZackov t1_ja3ssya wrote
He's an undead, aim for the brain stem
SuperMGS t1_ja45huu wrote
Fucking Romans still at it.
BeefSupreme782 t1_ja4fj9e wrote
The most dangerous game
RA242 t1_ja4nrof wrote
I had a Jesus run 3 miles before dropping after a heartshot with a compound bow.
guitartoad t1_ja5sgw6 wrote
This picture reminds me of when Obama got pilloried for saying middle Americans huddle with their guns and religion. Yeah, he sure was wrong about that.
[deleted] t1_ja3luu5 wrote
Hey don’t hurt Jesus he is sexy
satluvscheese t1_ja3pwaf wrote
let's not whine ...I'm sure he's crossing the Jordan river
DeadParrotguy78 t1_ja3uod7 wrote
Run , Jesus, run!!!
Hood18 t1_ja4lmjg wrote
roman seal of approved
concentrated-evil t1_ja584fx wrote
So what caliber works best to take down a Jesus, you think?
erritstaken t1_ja5ewqk wrote
.50 cal to the head. It’s the only way.
IrungamesOldtimer t1_ja5zjl8 wrote
10" Common Nail Hot Dipped Galvanized Smooth Bore.
itsonlymeez t1_ja5ryvz wrote
Bring a nail gun super effective
LegoFootPain t1_ja5tyii wrote
Gentlemen, we are here to hunt the deadliest game of all. The Son of God.
LoliTails t1_ja72wsa wrote
Nail gun required
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[deleted] t1_ja3kle4 wrote
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anoeba t1_ja3kx2n wrote
That fucker's almost as bad as Rasputin.
[deleted] t1_ja3t4sj wrote
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jimmyvcard t1_ja3tx3v wrote
Unexpected events pontius Pilate
AndyDoVO t1_ja41sur wrote
The perfect stickers for a Honda Pilot.
[deleted] t1_ja45wfr wrote
Y’all think he’d go down with a clean shot tho.?
20190419 t1_ja4cqn0 wrote
Nails are so passé.
Tommy_Batch t1_ja4i1pd wrote
The fucker can fly too.
[deleted] t1_ja4izqr wrote
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GreatSpaghettLord t1_ja4rph6 wrote
"When the fucker comes back again I'm gonna be ready"
Snoo_88763 t1_ja4t9vj wrote
Just get him sermonizing
rphdaddyb t1_ja4x573 wrote
Save some rounds for day 3.
fappyday t1_ja4xj7n wrote
Wait, are the Romans making a comeback? Talk about playing the long game.
unicyclecopilot t1_ja588so wrote
Hands and feet seem to be his weak spots
reconstruct94 t1_ja5dm32 wrote
He respawns after 3 days, gotta set traps.
Hesam2010 t1_ja5e5v0 wrote
It's not Duck season, it's Jesus season.
[deleted] t1_ja5f4nl wrote
You call that a prayer?! THIS is a prayer.
Jesus stars in the new movie the bourne again supremacy with Maaaaatt daaaaamon
UniverseBear t1_ja5n7pp wrote
Someone was, otherwise he wouldn't have ended crucified.
Zeus_McCloud t1_ja5uz7u wrote
He has a 72 hour respawn time.
TheTrueScientist t1_ja5y7g0 wrote
“Ain’t no second comin’ for you, pal”
Bind_Moggled t1_ja5z1za wrote
Nice to see people carrying on the traditions of the Ancient Romans.
Acrobatic_Ad_5065 t1_ja62qz3 wrote
Jesus! Watch out.
Mistapeepers t1_ja642e3 wrote
“How the hell did he survive? I nailed him three times!”
zigaliciousone t1_ja65fsm wrote
Maybe he's like Napoleon Dynamite. He forgot the comma and "Jesus" is an expletive.
zackman115 t1_ja67hik wrote
Reminds me of a meme I saw today. "Minecraft Jesus died for your greifings"
bearsheperd t1_ja6c79w wrote
Do you need some kind of special ammunition to hunt Jesus? Holy water hurts demons, silver for werewolves and wood kills vampires. What do you use to for sons of deities?
Shot_Try4596 t1_ja6rneh wrote
Better check with Constantine.
[deleted] t1_ja6ww0p wrote
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Evening-Aggressive t1_ja6xuml wrote
Good luck, people have been looking for him for 2000 years and even though many have claimed to have found him, nobody has. 🤣
Mean_Gene66 t1_ja73iyf wrote
Well, they are Conservative Christians!
malteaserhead t1_ja7sbxl wrote
Prey is known to escape over water
C-137Birdperson t1_ja7xlrl wrote
Did you know JFKs assassination is just a cheap reboot of Franz Ferdinand of Austria
BeefGir2 t1_ja8912r wrote
i would pay money for that shirt.
[deleted] t1_ja3dxvf wrote
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warrant2k t1_ja57ot2 wrote
He's got a 3 day respawn.
scrodytheroadie t1_ja3g98m wrote
You come at the King of Jews, you best not miss.