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Nice eggs.

You have a reserved seat in your home?

Thanks! u/chantleswichkow is a Master Poacher.

You don't? We can call the manager of your place and see if we can work something out for you. We're pretty good at schmoozing.

EDIT: This was a joke. We bought the sign from a friend's garage sale.

Sus

you've clearly never been to a thrift store or drunk enough at a fancy dinner

Lol, this was exactly how we acquired it. It was a friend's garage sale where she'd invited us to come to drink with her while people bought her shit. I'd lived with her for two months between leases and always thought it was funny so it came home with me... along with skeleton hands salad tossers and other randomness.