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ElectionOver4Hours t1_j80yd2m wrote

Interesting read.

The main thing appears to be that women have hugely unrealistic expectations and refuse to 'date down'. Now, I'm not saying settle for being unhappy.

But no man will be 25, earning hundreds of thousands, compassionate, tall and highly educated. Men in this category won't date these women for the same reasons anime girls won't date otaku men.

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OpTicDyno t1_j81gm03 wrote

That last sentence gave me a good chuckle

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PrinceoftheRoses t1_j86co94 wrote

I think it is important to frame it as not lowering your standards but having realistic standards. Monogamy is dependent on assortative mating which is simply mating with someone at the same level of attraction.

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FightOnForUsc t1_j82ucug wrote

Damn, so me except maybe I’m not compassionate enough. At least I know what to work on

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kintsugionmymind t1_j83ohy4 wrote

Yeah that's not what they're saying. Women are less likely to settle for someone who treats them shitty. It's not about making a certain amount of money, or being a certain height - it's about treating your partner with respect.

If what any of these women are asking for seems hugely unrealistic to you, that's a YOU problem.

FTA:

But for many young women, dating expectations refer less to a laundry list of must-have qualities and more to basic standards of how they wish to be treated.[8]

One 19-year-old women says that she’s looking for mutual respect in a relationship and someone who approaches issues with an open mind.

I don’t want to be in a relationship where somebody’s not open-minded about things that I want to do. Like if they have their point of view on something and I have a different point of view, I would like to have like a conversation about it. Another young woman, a 22-year-old college student, echoes this sentiment. For her, feeling respected and being with someone who is kind and considerate is paramount.

Pretty much my biggest thing is respect. . . . If we’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t have any dating apps on your phone at all. Like, I don’t care if we met on one or anything like that. We are in a relationship. I don’t need you going and looking at what’s on the market. She says she is mostly looking for affirmation that her partner is invested in their relationship.

We ask for simple things, you know, remembering things that we talked about in conversations. You know, flowers occasionally. Date nights. Every once in a while, just to have that reassurance that our relationship is worthwhile and feeling like we can spend really great quality time together and share special moments.

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AA_Ed t1_j83xhgo wrote

It's almost as if you stopped reading the article at that point and didn't keep scrolling to physical features. Literally says that height matters more to women than men.

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kintsugionmymind t1_j83zgg3 wrote

It's almost the case, but it's not. I read the whole thing. Clicked There are dozens of differentiators, with gender differences across nearly all of them. So yes, women tend to prefer taller partners and men tend to prefer shorter.

But when women were asked to talk about what they meant by "expectations" height wasn't highlighted. Nor was wealth, nor any of that bullshit. Again, because I guess you didn't get it before, and because we're being condescending to each other:

Women more than men report having a greater number of potential deal breakers when it comes to dating. They are also more likely to report having difficulty finding someone who meets their expectations. But for many young women, dating expectations refer less to a laundry list of must-have qualities and more to basic standards of how they wish to be treated.[8]

It's not about height, or fitness, or symmetry, or money. Or maybe it is, if you're a shitty person with nothing else to offer. If you listen to what women are saying, it's that they want to be treated to a higher standard of respect. That's the lack of measuring up that matters, not being 6ft+

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AA_Ed t1_j84aknp wrote

Well if a deal breaker on a first date is "must be taller than me" which it seems like for 56% of women it is than there is a whole population of men who aren't even getting the opportunity to be shitty people.

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rogert2 t1_j83ag9i wrote

> a 26-year-old woman:
> ...It’s like when you want to watch a show and you put on Netflix and like, you literally find yourself not being able to decide for like an hour and then you wind up not watching anything.

This exactly. About Netflix, I mean.

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Zdbear93 t1_j82hnxd wrote

There goes any optimism I had about dating.

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MisterRound t1_j83dt0s wrote

Fascinating. The liabilities list was so interesting.

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PrinceoftheRoses t1_j86cycs wrote

Most men don't want to date a woman who believes that every man is part of a conspiracy to ruin her life.

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