Weird things happening at Roche Brothers downtown lately. I hope they do not close the location. 😳

You just described Andrew Dice Clay!

Oh man, he certainly had the same energy!!!

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I mean, my dad was in Vietnam and he was born in 1951. Vietnam ended in '75 so I'm not sure. The air punches he did to my gut were certifiable! To be fair, he didn't say explicitly that he was in the war. Maybe he ran a sweatshop there in the 90's.

This is either 100% made up or 100% real.

The Lyndon Johnson hate being dropped on absolute strangers while looking at pudding makes me think it is real.

I am as much a wiseguy as I am a liar! We had moved a bit down the aisle at that point, so technically we were closer to the chocolate morsels.

I always had interesting encounters in there (and directly outside) when I was going a few times a week for lunch when I was working downtown. Some real characters so not surprised hahaha

I mean… that’s the age someone would be who served in Vietnam.

He would have been 20 years old in 1968, during the height of the Vietnam war.

>He then starts going off about how ugly Lyndon Johnson was

This is why Texans and Bostonians can't get along. Also, maybe that one song doesn't help.

You probably were an ass. Just admit it and move along. I kinda got that when you said you’d “defuse” the situation.

Did you even read what I wrote? I'm not upset at all! I thought it was wild - felt like I was in a movie or something. I literally laughed at something he said while he was looking at me, he had no reason to be aggressive with me. He's just on one, he was a wild character. I wanna know who he is; I'm not offended at all. No one did anything wrong, and by defuse I meant that I started talking to him instead of chuckling at the whacky shit he was saying. Clearly it was bothering him that I kept laughing.

How is OP an ass? It was the other dude telling his opinion on pudding being the ass. I'm too young for Vietnam but not too old for pudding and if you tell me I am I will laugh at you.

That rules

Dude above is trippin - I feel like plenty of people would crack a little well intentioned smile at what they thought was a harmless comment about pudding.

sick reference bro

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yeah I wasn't laughing at him, he said that out loud to my wife next to me while passing us after he was looking at the pudding. I think my wording was confusing.

sounds a bit like the guy who drives the classic car with the "cucaracha" horn

Just chalk it up as a win that nobody tried to set you on fire.

Was he low-key flirting with your wife? Was he just thinking out loud? Either way his response to your laugh seems over the top.

Seriously? Laughing is rude, but telling him to f*** off is fine?

oh yeah he was just one of those old timers. Certainly was flirting, and I don't think he initially was trying to start a fight with me, but I think because I kept smiling and laughing at his whimsy, he figured I wasn't taking him seriously. The fact that he said he wanted my youth makes me think he's just a bit bitter about being old, so he took me laughing as me laughing about him being old. It was mostly just how outrageous his character was that made the whole thing insane. He was like picking up the pudding mixes and putting them back on the shelf and huffing. He was just larger than life. Big personality.

I want someone's youth too. I hope he got some pudding or something anyway.

Or that guy that rides that led lit up scooter blasting music from his gigantic speaker that he sits on.

DTX is like a miniature Florida in the middle of Boston

Sounds like an old dude trying to live his younger days. Sad that some folk try to fluff their feathers/stick their chest out in an attempt for dominance. Just do you. Show him respect, even if he might not deserve it. He's probably not worth the time or energy out of your life.

Guaranteed he knew Frank. Get Dennis on the line to try and get Mac to set his ass straight.

Three blind mice...

He's right, you know. Lyndon Johnson wasn't very pretty at all.

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Should have given him a seasons greeting by throwing hands.

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To be fair, hating on LBJ is pretty universal

I absolutely believe this. This place can be a fever dream.

That's a story a wiseguy would tell

Huge cock tho

Agree. OP is likely some kind of wiseguy.

come on guys :(

Nicknamed it Jumbo

Honestly I want his youth

Probably from the vets shelter a few blocks away....

Maybe check your math. Someone born in 1948 was 18 in 1966. Vietnam went until 1975. That's plenty of time past 18 to be drafted.

i don’t know - he seemed way too put together. he looked like old money, boston brahmin wealthy.

Sounds like my upstairs neighbor, who’s name I forget, from when I lived in Brighton. Old Vietnam Vet Marine, had the 3rd floor balcony setup like a bunker, flying his globe and anchor flag, ripping joints all day

What else happened there?

for science 😳😳

I always thought you were a wise guy.

This is the truest truth I’ve ever read on this website.

You just had an experience of a lifetime… congrats OP

Should've given him the three stooges eyepoke.

For real. I love that place. Commuters, gym rats, vagrants. Direct access to the T, insane line at lunchtime.

that's only a reaction a wiseguy would have, you sure are soundin' like a wiseguy, wiseguy

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As a NYer: It’s post like these that make me appreciate how culturally alike the northeast of the USA is in many respects.

Thanks for defusing the situation. It almost always has a positive outcome like this, and makes for a good story. I wish more people were like you.

That’s my dad. Ignore him

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Oh boy. looks like I gotta go pickup Gramps from roach bros again.

Hickory dickory dock…

Oh, everyone denies it but NY, Philly and Boston are the same place. NY Italians are the same as Boston Italians, Philly Irish are the same as NY or Boston Irish.

I think Boston Irish and New York Italians are pretty unique.

IMO not really. I’d even throw Chicago into the ‘they’re pretty much the same’ bucket

Most people would agree with me. Think of how Hollywood views Boston and New York.

Some weird woman in there was assaulting customers there with some type of noxious chemical a few weeks ago. There has been other trouble in there.

Excellent story. Good job defusing.

This is 100% believable based on what I’ve seen in downtown crossing myself.

Only difference is who we root for really.

Old Boston: "What are you some kinda wiseguy?"

Young Boston: "I would like to take this moment to categorically deny any and all wiseguy accusations. I carry two post-graduate degrees, but I am not, nor have I ever associated with, a wiseguy. Please, let us continue this conversation over a glass of-"

Old Boston: "Alright wiseguy I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Yeah I think it's just a matter of volume. NYC is so big, you can find a character on every block easy, and someone is probably willing to chat. I was amazed after a week in Brooklyn at how many strangers I chatted with.

Whaaaaat the fuuuuck is that. Let's just pantomime JFK getting shot in the head over and over for laughs.

They only come out at night. Or in this case, uh, the daytime.

God the shit you find... and can't believe are actually real...

It’s that for sure but it’s also how the density of people in the big urban conglomerates shapes the cultures. I’ve traveled pretty widely across the USA, Asia and Europe and there’s something distinct about big urban conglomerates culturally but then also something else distinct about the big urban conglomerates of the us northeast. Hard to really describe but you can see and feel it if you’re a local after having traveled widely.

Philly is an open garbage dump that can’t pronounce the letter L after an O. They are not like us.

If you want to see how Hollywood views boston, watch boondocks saints 2. To hollywood, we’re a city of Mexican gangs and there’s no HR department at any employer anywhere.

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New copypasta just dropped!

The magic bullet theory is hilarious, and I'm tired of pretending it's not! :p

Back, and to the left...

My god this reminds me of an interaction me and my buddy had with a old guy hopping out of his 86 Lincoln down the Cape at our local beach as we headed home. We saw him wrangling a cane and a bag out of the back and tossed him a “we kept the water warm for you!” At him as we were walking home drying off and 20 min later we knew he was a 3rd gen pipe fitter, his wife was home recovering from a cancer scare, he’s been down to the water every day for 30 years, he was a Korean War vet who “saw some shit”, his son died in a hot tub, his daughters had families and were happy as a clam, and us liberal yahoos in Boston were ruining the city and/ or state (while he admitted that we’re still paying his nice pension and retirement lifestyle). It was an absolute roller coaster of a covo we were not expecting to get into but at the end of it we all shook hands, shook our heads, and went on with our lives saying “something’s gotta change!!” It was one of those moments you never forget.

I still turn to my friend who was with me and call him a yahoo to this day. I think the old grey fox just wanted a moment of random interaction outside his norm and we sure gave it to him. We may not always agree with every generation but it’s a ride hearing some of their stories. Hopefully your weird interaction brought a smile to his face and a good story for your future!

I’m ova hea now!

It took two decades of living here but I can now rest easy knowing I have finally seen the most perfectly succinct description of dtx ever written.

It's pretty obviously referring to the Seinfeld episode

As a veteran, it seems to my experience that anybody that goes around the circle jerking themselves about Vietnam, or the Gulf War, or Iraqi freedom or something like that Flexing on people didn't actually go there

Shit like this makes me closer and closer to canceling my account.

Bostonians can hardly pronounce anything with an R so dunno if we have a leg to stand on

I'm glad this story had a.... happy? Ending?

Wait a second there. What about Mike Dukakis and Lloyd Bentsen? A Bay Stater and a Texan tried to fix the world together.

You overlooked the part where their city is overrun with empty beer cars, dog shit and dirty syringes. Just say no to philly.

What mods do I have to ping in order to get this guy a "Wiseguy" flair?

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I’ve seen all this shit in Boston too. I know Philly is worse than here but its the sane stuff just more.

Little known history, the "B" just stands for Big.

You made my day.

"from what I learned in Vietnam" what, running away after you are forced into a situation? Old war kooks are wild.

But Bostonians lost that leg climbing up the topsails. We are not the same.

Should have told him “I’ll see ya in an hour…BACK! Get it?! Hour BACK?!”

I want your youth, wiseguy!

I understand this reference!

lol honestly it's on Roche Bros corporate for not understanding what kind of a place DTX is

Once in Harvard Square I saw a fat man wearing a dress shirt and suspenders arguing firmly with the police that it was not actually illegal to go into the women's bathroom. The police were firmly informing him that yes, it actually is.

I didn't stick around to see the outcome but I can take a pretty good guess.

This is so specific that I believe every word of it.

I miss having that be my primary store when I lived there. Always an adventure. My favorite was when you’d catch Macy’s security chasing somebody.

I run into guys like this all the time, they make me embarrassed to be 73.

Congratulations! Your de-escalation skills are better than 99% of the police force in this country.

Just some poor asshole with creeping dementia who's probably looking at spending Thanksgiving alone tomorrow.

EVEN better when you see empty beer cans, syringes, and dog shit all in the same place 😂

Talking to people who work in nursing homes, it sounds completely real to me

OMG, there was a whole thing on tiktok where people were asked to smell something and they ended up passing out, it was some sort of sex trafficking thing, stay safe

No way fucking Chicago is the same. You’re nuts. Have you been there?? It could not be more different. That weird midwestern politeness. Everything is flat so you can see down a long street literally for miles. Chicago style pizza is an abomination. It’s not pizza. Subs aren’t really a thing out there. Go order a steak and cheese sub at a place in Chicago and they’ll look at you like you’re the weirdo.

Bostonians never offer nice eggs to people going through trying times like they do in Philly.

Reminds me of the two boomers on Charles St. who asked me if I thought I was tough when I said "excuse me, you're in the bike lane", and then threatened to knock me off my bike. In the south, they'd be called good ole boys, but I have yet find a New England equivalent.

The idea that they would be different is so laughable. They are three cities in a very small region. It is so funny the divisions that we make for ourselves as humans. You see the same thing everywhere. Wales and England, Neighboring villages with different dialects in rural Guatemala etc. We are all the same.

We move them to other words. Ask one to pronounce "idea".

I see that shit daily in Boston ^ Philly is 2x the size, so they’re going to have 2x the amount of needles, etc. it’s really not astronomically diff than Boston other than the layout of the city here being trash to navigate.

Not to defend Chicago style pizza but Boston doesn't really have much of a leg to stand on there

My boy /u/SkinnyJoshPeck is not a wiseguy. He may be a snark, a sarcastic asshole, a busta, a wiseguy, but he is not a pornstar!

lol Philly is way fucking worse. There isn’t a single street in boston that looks like any street in Kensington. Phillys great I’m not hating. But it’s the truth.

Someday Philly is going to come back and it will be terrifying. I don't know how or when or under what circumstances, maybe the apocalypse, but it will happen.

I just moved back to boston and was in that roche bros recently. I can’t even imagine how any sane person could eat from the hot bar there. Just the thought makes me queasy.

I once had an old lady come up to me and, completely unprompted, give me a lecture on the difference between the German words "kein" and "keine" as if I had mistakenly used the latter instead of the former. She was in a heated argument with someone else at the bus stop but she saw me approaching and ambushed me with that lecture as soon as I got there.
She did not stop arguing with strangers the entire time I was within earshot of her, which was quite a while.

Guaranteed he didn't serve but he's been using it for leverage his whole retired life

I've got a similar experience in Lynn. I we t to grab a bahmi and this older gentleman, about 90 something, holding a walker said he was "going to stab my belly and let my stomach hang" and then immediately proceed to release a nice and warm laughter follow by "I'm joking but, don't mess with me" and then said "welcome to Lynn kid"

I'm dead serious!

Yeah, as a former NY native. I agree. I hate Philly. Used to have to go to area meetings for work to Philly from NY.

But that’s the charm of NY. I loved living there

What OP doesn't know is that by engaging in conversation with this being, he actually did have at least 5 years of his youth sucked from him. People really need to be more careful around eldritch horrors.

I love DTX so much, keeps life interesting!

> 6 minutes

There's like 4 songs in existence worth that level of attention and this isn't one of them

It has been done

We have wild turkeys. BYOEs

This is beautiful, thank you.

BHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Not fair... the 'R's were stolen by pirates...

You did the right thing and will be blessed. With out ancestors there are no descendents. Enjoy your holiday, Bravo! ((:

The Seinfeld episode itself was a parody of the 1991 Oliver Stone film "JFK", which is the much more likely inspiration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSzszCTWFwg

He sucked on the war, but was actually pretty good on just about everything else.

Edit: Social Security. Medicare. Medicaid. 1964 Civil Rights Act. 1968 Civil Rights Act. Clean Air Act. 1965 Voting Rights Act. Ended racist immigration policies in force for decades. Tons of federal money for education, rural areas, major laws to increase motor vehicle safety. Seriously, one of the best domestic presidents of the past 100 years.

Nasty person? Yup. Tell me some presidents who weren't and what they did.

The Pot Roast is really good! The other stuff…iffy.

Among other things, he habitually exposed himself to female coworkers. Not great IMO

Not sure old money would have ended up fighting in the jungles of Vietnam.

But then again, he sounds a few shy of a six pack, so maybe he went because he was bored and thought it would be interesting.

Confirmed wiseguy #startthecommotion

Sounds like your dad and my grandpa shoukd hang out sometime

Do you also slice your onions with a razor blade to make pasta sauce in prison with Big Paulie?! Not just a Wiseguy, but an Aristocrat too 😂😂😉

The Italian pizza in Boston is AMAZING. You gotta hit up the north end. Boston has incredible food

Big Paulie sliced garlic with the razor

> Subs aren’t really a thing out there.

Huh? You can definitely get subs in Chicago. The Italian beef sandwich is, basically, a kind of sub. You can get regular cold cut subs, too.

> Chicago style pizza is an abomination. It’s not pizza.

Chicago-style pizza is definitely very very different from the pizza that you get in the Northeast, and I think you could argue that it's different enough to be a separate type of food. But I think it's fucking awesome. And it's pretty unique, too - you can get good thin-crust pizza pretty much anywhere, but I've never really had good Chicago-style deep dish outside of the Chicago area.

And thin crust and Sicilian pizza exists in Chicago, and is often quite good. Actually, people eat it more than deep dish - deep dish is kind of seen as something for tourists and special occasions.

Source: Have lived in Boston, Chicago, and NYC.

For all that NYC, Boston and Philly like to rag on each other, there are more similarities than differences, for sure.

Boston pizza absolutely drops it’s cheesy balls on Chicago’s face. North End baby.

Yeah no hot subs though, which defeats the purpose. And all Chicago pizza is bad. Thin crust, deep dish. Even the way they cut the pizza is wrong.

The only good food in Chicago is the Mexican food.

I had to double check that this wasn’t showing up on my feed from r/NewJersey

Nice flair, wiseguy

I actually love pot roast. Hmm, I’m not phobic about food, in fact that is the first time I ever had that thought about a buffet situation. I love the city, but as an elder disabled woman, w ptsd, but who can space out, I’m trying to train myself to be vigilant on all fronts. And I get very triggered, sadly, by the street people. Not for lack of compassion. I also have memories of hanging in the area, especially park st, as an aimless, misguided teen.

He grabbed dogs by the ears, was racist and probably had Kennedy killed.

> it was some sort of sex trafficking thing, stay safe

I'm... gonna doubt this one. This sounds just as valid as the pizza parlor or the Wayfair trafficking Tiktok trends

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I find the European cities are much more segregated by wealth, so the urban cores are typically just full of the wealthy and the tourists. In the Northeast, it's still segregated but it's more like block by block, so the "melting pot" feel is still kind of present

He’s also the one who led the democrat party to kick out the pro segregation Dixiecrats and make civil rights a key part of the democrat platform so like some good some bad

>I was just was at roche bros downtown

I believe everything that follows.

The white-hair pompadour does make him a rarity... the Joseph Joestar of Downtown Crossing.

Hope I get to see him some day.

Probably some elderly gangster, smart of you to defuse the situation.

This is a lose lose situation. 1. He could kick your ass and you’d lose, 2. You could kick his ass but he’s 74 years old and you’d probably be arrested for attempted murder = lose. Just walk away homie

Only in Boston haha you can't make this shit up. So many characters. If I see this guy I'll be sure to post about him

I agree with your main point but I mean Wales does have a completely different language and celtic v norman shit going on

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#truth

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I want his hIr and suit. Fuck it, I wanna be him

Pants.... Google about his pants. Actually do not ever Google about his pants. There are only certain things the brain can make go away.

Italian beef subs are usually served warm-to-hot. Pizza, well...let's just agree to disagree. :)

With roche brothers?

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I am older too…and don’t walk as well anymore. I tend to stay away from the area. I can easily be knocked over. There seem to many pretty rowdy and unpredictable people there lately. It is a shame…since I used to love the area. Now it is just a shell of what it once was. Hopefully there can be an improvement to the area. Younger people have no concept of how vibrant and busy the area once was.