This might be the most disorganized post ever, but I am blown away by the Earthsea books. I made a post a bit ago on here talking about how much I love the first book, and at the time I had never read anything of the series but that. A few comments told me I was in for a treat and that was so true. I knew I was, but wow. I have become so attached to these characters, and I have processed things going on in my personal life through these stories, and I just can't believe it. I know I have more to read in Earthsea ahead of me, but I loved those 4 books so much that they make me want to just start them all over again. I had some quotes that I have nowhere to put that I wanted to share and talk about, and maybe someone else on here wants to yell at me about Earthsea too. :)

Also general warning for spoilers!

I've decided to spare this post the super long quotes that are stuck in my head, but I think about Tenar in Tombs of Atuan a lot, when she weeps for her years wasted serving a useless evil. She weeps because she is free. But before that, I was loving the book, although I will admit I was also waiting for Ged to show up. Once he did I was even happier. And Tenar and Ged together is just so interesting. The dialogue in Earthsea is so interesting, I just want more and more of it when I read it. Once they're out of the tombs, this might be the thing I thought about most after finishing the book.

"She watched him, and never could she have said what was in her heart as she watched him, in the firelight, in the mountain dusk."

I suppose in hindsight it's maybe a bit obvious that that's romantic, but at the time I wasn't sure. Either way I loved their bond and I love both of their characters.

I really didn't expect The Farthest Shore to be so bleak, but I still really enjoyed it. Only a few pages in I was already so invested in the relationship Ged and Lebannen, which is amazing to me that she can make me love her characters so quickly.

"...and he pushed Arren lightly between the shoulder blades, a familiarity no one had ever taken before, and which the young prince would have resented from anyone else; but he felt the Archmage's touch as a thrill of glory. For Arren had fallen in love."

As soon as I read that I was immediately in. I loved this book. I didn't expect the themes about immortality and consumerism and I enjoyed how she wrote about that, I found some moments a lot spookier than the last two books had been, especially the ending. I was a little sad to hear of Ged being cooped up as an Archmage, and was delighted that apparently that was also how he felt about it. I liked Lebannen's perspective in his youth and not knowing exactly what he should do. And when he starts to distrust Ged a little bit, with the despair. And I keep mentally returning to Ged telling Lebannen that he will not hear the despair, he is not aware of it because he simply refuses to cater to despair. I have a lot of despair in my daily life and this has legitimately helped me process it:

"That selfhood which is our torment, and our treasure, and our humanity, does not endure. It changes; it is gone, a wave on the sea. Would you have the sea grow still and the tides cease, to save one wave, to save yourself? Would you give up the craft of your hands, and the passion of your heart, and the light of sunrise and sunset, to buy safety for yourself, safety forever? ... That is the message that those who know how to hear have heard: by denying life you may deny death and life forever."

After Ged and Lebannen bonding so much it was difficult to read them being in death and being so dry and far away from life. I kept worrying once they returned to life that Ged would die and I feel like if Ursula was a more stereotypical writer he would've just died (and so would I, I have become unreasonably attached to this fictional wizard.) When the Doorkeeper said "He has done with doing. He goes home." I had a lot of ideas that were basically all wrong, and all based on trying to force Ged to retain his power and fame and previous life, somehow.

As a result, Tehanu blew me away.

I loved getting back to Tenar, and I love how she has grown. Questioning her life and her responsibilities and the power of women. Her relationship with Therru is amazing.

"... You have scars, ugly scars, because an ugly, evil thing was done to you. People see the scars. But they see you, too, and you aren't the scars. You aren't ugly. You aren't evil. You are Therru, and beautiful. You are Therru who can work, and walk, and run, and dance, beautifully, in a red dress"

"She had done right to make the dress, and she had spoken the truth to the child. But it was not enough, the right and the truth. There was a gap, a void, a gulf, on beyond the right and the truth. Love, her love for Therru and Therru's for her, made a bridge across that gap, a bridge of spiderweb, but love did not fill or close it. Nothing did that. And the child knew it better than she."

"Wrong that cannot be repaired must be transcended."

I enjoyed her wondering how men would know what a man is, if they have never been around women. It was like Tombs again, I was very happy with Tenar, but I love them together, so I was even happier when Ged arrived. I was very sad about his shame and despair though. I worried he was permanently empty, and I suppose this is mentioned as a possibility from Moss in the book too, that perhaps without his power he is a husk. I have been coping with my life with these books and Ged being that way honestly made me really sad, even after I put the book down for the day. I hated him running away, and I hated Tenar going through the curse and trying to raise Therru with almost no help.

And somehow, in something like the span of four pages, Ursula turned this very beautiful but heart wrenching book into one of the most comforting things I've ever read. Don't get me wrong, I loved the entire book, but I was still sad the old Ged was gone. "Why does Hawk the Goatherd weep for Ged the Archmage?" I guess I needed the time to understand it, just like he did. That the power was never going to give him what he gained there with Tenar. I remember in the previous book Ged saying that maybe he will learn what he was never able to learn once they are finished with the journey and I wondered what he meant. I didn't expect the answer to be so simple and wonderful.

"They lay that night on the hearthstones, and there she taught Ged the mystery that the wisest man could not teach him."

I love their affection, there might not be more for me to say about it beyond that. It is so beautiful to me after getting to know their characters so well. The ending freaked me out with all the creepy wizardry but Therru being named by Kalessin and all deciding to stay in Ogion's house is just perfect. I don't know how she writes so simply but so perfectly, and it strikes me so deeply, emotionally. I feel like I will be returning to these characters for grounding and comfort for a long time. Now, this post is much too long, very sorry!

On a joking note, I find it very funny that Ged has just been casting spells and flying around and in his boat for 50 years before he has sex and once he does he's like you know what, this is pretty cool, actually.