I'm in one, in fact our monthly meeting is this weekend. I've been in for quite a few years now. It started on meetup, but that site is stupid high in hosting costs, so we ditched it eventually.

I really think all book clubs, like any social club, are different, and it's going to depend on the members and types of books they typically read as to how they function, flow, act, etc.

We're pretty relaxed, open, very opinionated but even if our opinions differ, we hear them out.

We joke we're the food and drinks and book club, but we're probably 2/3 books and 1/3 food. Most of us are friends outside of it (some having known before joining, some finding friendships with individuals after joining). We do catch up and talk about non-book stuff, but probably 2/3 is book related.

We read two books a month. Read both, read one, read neither. The books will spoiled if you haven't finished or didn't read, unless you want to step out. We try and read a fiction and a non fiction, both pretty varying on topics. We do have favorite authors we'd read multiple of (we've read several Mary Roach books for our non fictions), we like theming when we can- a spooky or horror book for October, etc. We always choose something that has multiple copies at the library and is otherwise easy to get (no one gets excluded because they can't or don't want to buy a brand new book every time). Usually our organizer starts us off with something, but we just let the conversation flow organically from there, bounce off each other. Oh you said this and I thought the same, or I didn't and here's why kinda stuff. Some takes notes, some don't. We're all pretty big and serious readers, so books are a huge interest of ours independent of those we read for book club, and a lot of times we read stuff we wouldn't pick up on our own otherwise, which I personally really like. Even if I didn't like a book, now I know. I've found some gems that have become some of my favorites I might not have found otherwise, too.

We round table host, just whoever volunteers. I'm a huge Halloween person, and I decorate to the max, so I've got a standing hosting gig for October, our organizer claimed December, otherwise it's open. Bring food, drinks, don't, whatever you can/want to do, change it up every time. Theme your food/drink, don't. Just have fun.

If you're not liking the club, then I'd say just find another one. I don't know how easy that is, but that's just how I've found clubs and such to be. Either you click and it works or you don't and there's nothing wrong with it, it's just not a good fit. Some are more structured, some are not, some read all fluff some read the opposite, some are a mix. Gotta find what works for you.