It sounds like you are struggling with a mental health issue, perhaps OCD or anxiety or perfectionism.

I think that a therapist would be able to help you to begin to make forward motion again in your life and get a grasp on what's going on and be able to cope better. Maybe you can get through without any medication but meds can be an absolute game changer for some people.

For right now, let the books go since you aren't enjoying them.