Little known fact, Tolkien was genuinely a half-elf who had lived through the fall of Mordor...

I don't think that "Write what you know" means that you cannot use your imagination. Otherwise fantasy and sci fi couldn't exist at all, because no one has experienced them.

I have always viewed it more as a general concept to give you a starting point. It's not a rule. It's not a restriction. It's an encouragement to include things that you know into what you write, because they are things that you understand more deeply.

Also, if it's your first book then it's totally okay if it's not any good either! It's a learning experience. Most first books aren't! Just dive in and tell the story that is grabbing you and see where it leads. I think it's better if you don't overthink it.

I've known a few people who have tried to write and they just self-edited their entire story out of existence before they hardly started. Write first, edit later.

This. I write high fantasy adventures for my job, obviously I've never been to other realms or had threesomes with half elf half harpy women. But I do include smaller experiences that I've been through in their lives to ground the epic stuff in a more realistic world. I draw inspiration a lot from my own life and interactions.

well, I think "write what you know" is for people that want to be great artists... people that are reading fantasy romance novels aren't necessarily interested in "great art." I haven't read that many myself, but I have read a few, and people there are looking for great fantasy. Besides, it doesn't really work that well even for the really good authors... did Frank Herbert write what he knew? He wrote Dune. Not sure what he knew had to do with it. Bram Stoker wrote Dracula. Not sure what he knew had to do with it. I'm thinking that "write what you know" is one avenue to becoming a good writer; there are others.

Honestly, yes, I would anticipate that any romance written by someone who has never had one will inevitably feel inauthentic. (Also, a lot of romance novels feel inauthentic in general.) That is not to say don't write it, as practice will make it better, but it will likely take you more effort to get those parts right.

Your homework is to date people. That will improve your writing. If you have trouble getting dates, just lower your standards.

Also, even if you have a weakness, it does not mean you will not be successful. I read a lot of sci-fi, and it was a male dominated field for a long time. A lot of the writers write just terribly inauthentic female characters, but I can still enjoy the novels.

Write what you know doesn’t always mean “you should only write things you know about.” It means “use your own experienced to inform your writing.” In the context of romance, you might not have fallen in love, but you know what it feels like to be in a bad relationship and what it feels like to not have your needs met…so then you explore what it would feel like and what you’d want it to look like.

I just view it as a way of saying “make the story personal to you.” A lot of writers fall into a trap of trying to make their story have broad appeal so they write with bland details with no personal touch.

When crafting a story, even if the subject matter isn’t necessarily something you’ve experienced, don’t be afraid to let personal tastes dictate the characters and settings. It’s these little details that add up and craft more memorable experiences.

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It doesn't mean to literally write about your own experiences. It means to impart your personality, desires, knowledge, etc into your work. For example, if you haven't had a romance before, you can write about how you FEEL about romance, or portray a romance that is your personal ideal. Or you can write about what you've witnessed from people around you.

Or in fantasy, you can write about goblins and elves etc but the story is about relationships and situations and emotions that you are familiar with, that mean something to you.

I think the phrase is often used as advice to people who don't know what to write, or if you find yourself foolishly trying to write what you think people want to see, instead of what YOU want to see.

Thank you, this was spot on. I tend to try and write what others want to see.