Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

[deleted] t1_j1ldsm0 wrote

I got a lot of therapy, and suddenly abusive relationships with controlling men, were not something I was interested in. Nor was particularly sexualized content.

50 Shades would have been totally my thing pre-therapy. I can remember getting annoyed with some of Anne Rice, and a book about sex slaves, called Kushiel’s Dart, by Jacqueline Carey.

Anything that significantly heals trauma can really change what your interests are.

195

Veer-Zinda t1_j1lxqlj wrote

>Anything that significantly heals trauma can really change what your interests are.

This is exactly what did it for me. I'm glad you're in a better place.

69

[deleted] t1_j1m2xrl wrote

If I may ask, what were you reading before, and what do you read now?

One of the things that has surprised me most, is how much I like later Stephen King, Joe Hill, and Stephen Graham Jones. It’s horror, but they write about people, so well. (And Graham Jones is writing literature.)

11

Veer-Zinda t1_j1mkcjl wrote

I used to read a lot of crime fiction and thrillers, with the occasional general fiction or sci-fi thrown in. When I did read general fiction, I tended to like more dystopian material.

I find that the darker elements I enjoyed in those genres I now prefer in something where it's a more integral part of a larger story.

These days, I tend to read much more general fiction, sci-fi, a little fantasy, and crime fiction only rarely.

To expand on my previous point, I can still enjoy fiction that explores darker themes in depth, because that's always interested me from a psychological point of view, but I guess I feel like I'm in a sufficiently healthy place that I can appreciate the balance of light and dark as encapsulating the human experience. But what's changed is that I don't get sucked into those darker places as a way to lose myself in self-loathing or self-pity. I don't know if that makes sense.

7

[deleted] t1_j1mkw3n wrote

It does make sense. Sometimes reading dark things is a kind of perpetuating abuse.

6

Veer-Zinda t1_j1mlgrj wrote

Yes, that's it. And healing shines a light on how destructive that is to the psyche, so it no longer appeals. It was never a conscious effort to stop. It just fell away along with a load of other unhelpful thoughts and behaviours.

Did you find any particular book helped with trauma? (If you don't mind me asking.)

7

[deleted] t1_j1mmnwm wrote

That’s a long list. But -

1.) M.Scott Peck - People of the Lie

It’s essentially about human evil. One of the things abuse survivors do is lie to themselves about what’s happening. It’s really important to think about what is true.

2.) Psychopath Free - Jackson McKenzie

This was key for naming some of my craziest abuse situations as an adult.

3.) The Narnia Chronicles - CS Lewis

4.) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Tolkien

I swear those books help with a sense of felt safety.

Also, any author who clearly has a strong moral compass, in the secular humanist or any non denominational religious sense.

It’s important to reframe abuse as good vs evil, and visualize a world in which evil does not win.

Brandon Sanderson, Alastair Reynolds, Iain Banks, and again, Stephen King. Also, the poet Naomi Shehab Nye.

10

fuckincaillou t1_j1olzuh wrote

This comment really makes me rethink the possible reasons as to why 50 Shades is so popular, now. Good on you for getting healed! I'm glad you're better now. :)

4

pitaenigma t1_j1mxepg wrote

After I got out of an abusive relationship I slowly turned away from dark books I loved my entire life. Since coming out as trans I've been into fluffy stuff

3