Amazing series! There are two issues you reveal in your post … (1) your concern for the world at large, which is admirable; and (2) what could likely be clinical depression, which is an illness and very treatable. It is important to distinguish between these two things, because it is all too easy to allow (2) to masquerade as (1). If you are sincerely experiencing the behaviors/behavioral changes you describe in this post, you need to seek medical attention. There is no shame in this at all. In the long run, you will be in a much better position to do something to help change the world if you are not suffering from depression!