I agree with you, and I've definitely had moments where I've questioned the necessity of something Butcher has thrown into Harry's narrative to us.

That said, it has gotten better and so I think since such a big part of your point is that authors make their choices for and against things, it's only fair to point out that Butcher has made the choice to do better, and not sexualize characters as much.

The other thing is that Harry has a darker half, an alter-ego that we don't know tons about yet and apparenty will in Mirror, Mirror, but it's there; of impulse and drives and darkness. I suspect that Harry's rage and his lust problems are going to bite him in the ass soon, which is probably building towards a narrative of "these flaws of Harry's hurt him and those around him", just like they do to a person in real life. I think we're building towards realistic consequences for Harry's toxic traits.