Very good book, and I always think the conversations it provokes are very interesting.

I also believe Kevin was born that way, but you can definitely tell from his mother's personality that he inherited a few of her qualities. I like Eva as a protagonist, but she does come across as a bit cold, and lacking in empathy.

With a normal kid, the father's overzealousness might balance things out. But it seems Kevin had nothing but contempt for his father. And also anyone else who came across as sincere and loving, like his little sister.

I am contemplating whether Kevin might have turned out differently with two very warm, supportive parents, but I really don't think so. There's plenty of kids with a cold parent who don't turn out to be psychopaths. And vice versa. It's a tough call because I do think he could have inherited his lack of empathy from his mother, but there were a lot of other factors at play too.

We see everything through the eyes of the mother, and she is an unreliable narrator. She admits she never wanted Kevin. She broke his arm, and who has a seven year old still in diapers without taking them to all kinds of doctors to find out why? She assumes he’s just being a pain in the ass. And she was insufferably elitist and superior. So I do wonder how much was Kevin and how much was mother. Which is exactly what we’re supposed to wonder.

I think you need to consider the feelings mama had for Kevin from the start. She never had that normal attachment mother's feel for children. And we know it isn't just about her because she does have that attachment for her daughter.

I don't recall the name, but there's a known disorder where for reasons unknown occasionally a mother will just not have the normal feelings for their child. These children have enormously increased chances of being a sociopath or other major disorder. Gotta think this is what Shriver was writing about.

And just as in real life, it's difficult to lay the blame. Was she uncaring for her son because he was a little baby sociopath, or was it the lack of caring that made him develop into a sociopath? I don't think Shriver answers this question. Though do note at the end how much Kevin still wants his mother's love.

It’s been a very long time since I read the book but I went to a talk with Shriver and I found it very interesting that she wanted to keep the focus so closely on exactly the questions you’re posing, hence the ‘method’ Kevin uses (attempting to keep spoiler free) so as not to divert discussion overtly towards similar cases from the headlines.

I hope this makes sense. Trying to not spoil it but I think my attempts are making no sense at all…

I read this around the same time I read A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Klebold, mother of the second shooter at Columbine Hish School. It sounds very much like the fictional Kevin. I am creeped out by both mothers. Eva in Kevin is a cold narcissist, distant, unable to unbend or be warm to her own child. She has her own agenda, she's enthralled with her own elitism, taste, intellect. Look at the real life mother, Sue Klebold. I think she has her own agenda, too, combining appeasing Dylan with furthering her own religious standards, whether artificial or just irrational, plus, looking like the perfect family. But is there anything you can do to forcibly treat someone who doesn't appear to be "that bad"?

That was a "WTF" book.

I think Kevin was born that way. Unrelated but reading this reaffirmed my desire NOT to have children

In real life Ted Bundy’s parents were normal and we all know how that turned out. I think some people are just born missing the humanity gene.

Eva seemed mentally off imo and not a very good parent. It came across on her diary rants.

Knowing one like him, and his family, I am certain Kevin was plainly born like that. His real-world counterpart fortunately has not murdered anyone - but can you imagine that his own sister would not talk to him for years? In the same house? His parents were absolutely not to blame: I know them both as kind people who adored their baby son (too much, IMO) and were dismayed about how he turned out. But it could not be helped. His first girlfriend set him straight in the end, fortunately; till then, some of us had seriously considered the possibility he might fall criminal.

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>I believe that Kevin was just born a little shit

When it comes to stuff like this, everyone loves to just believe that monsters appear out of nowhere and commit callous acts for no reason at all.

The brutal truth is that society, including every parent of a school shooting victim, is to blame for the prevalence of school shooters in the United States.

The ease of access to firearms, lack of universal healthcare, outdated education system, rising cost of living, increasing concentration of wealth in the hands of a few, rampant spread of right-wing propaganda, nonsensical poverty guidelines, etc.

And don't even get me started on how common and accepted child abuse is. We still have some people advocating for beating their children as a method of discipline. That is how psychotic society is.

With regard to the book, the mother abused and neglected Kevin, which always seems to be glossed over for some reason.

There is no point in analyzing isolated incidents when it is a systemic problem that will never change.