enJ0eable OP t1_iu4u289 wrote
Reply to comment by AlbertoMX in To my Romance readers: Is explicit s.a. to be expected at this point or am I just incredibly unlucky? by enJ0eable
>And dont make me talk about those age gaps...
Riiight?? Currently refusing to watch House of Dragon for similar reasons. đ
But yes and thatâs the most infuriating part! One book was so graphic it made me flinch and it has 5 stars on Amazon and is a NY times bestseller. To be reminded how celebrated it is in society isâŠ. đ„¶
(Edit: To the Downvoters of this comment I only say examine yourself. Why does someone calling out SA warrant a dislike? Do you feel attacked somehow? If not, what is it?)
Rahimus_ t1_iu6czht wrote
Youâre not calling out sexual assault. Everything youâre mentioning is fictional. Nobody was sexually assaulted, because none of the characters exist.
If you donât want to read stories where SA exists (as it does in the real world), thatâs your prerogative, but donât act like itâs some morally superior stance, itâs not.
Reading about sexual assault - no matter how explicit - isnât immoral. It can be part of the story the author wants to convey. If you think the story must then itself be immoral, Iâd urge you to reevaluate your position. A story containing an immoral person isnât the same as the story being immoral (what would that even mean lol).
enJ0eable OP t1_iu86tsx wrote
Maybe calling out isnât the right word here, because youâre right, thereâs no one TO call out. We can talk about whether or not some people here feel called out, but that is another story.
You are, of course, also right about fictional characters or a fictional story itself not being moral. Morality is tied to actions, choices, decisions. It therefore doesnât make sense to judge fictional characters at all, we can only analyze their behavior or the imagery underlying it.
While you are the one bringing up morality here, not me (I merely suggested that saâs popularity in media these days - like many people in these comments confirm! - makes my spine freeze), itâs still a relevant discussion to have.
In another comment you mentioned the word âevil.â Who said anything about evil? Immorally doesnât equate evil, or a whole lot of people would have to be evil in the real world.
Weâve come closer to why morality still is questionable when sa is being turned into a romantic trope or dramatic plot device in another comment you made:
>Accountability for what? The sexual assault that didnât happen? The age gap that doesnât exist? You havenât explained whatâs inherently wrong with writing a story that contains SA. I donât see a problem. A story is something the author imagined, and wants to share with the world. If that story includes rape, then so be it.
Like I said, only actions can be moral. Writing, publishing, marketing, selling are all actions made by real people. I also mentioned in my edit of the post my not minding SA in media if itâs handled responsibly. So for example the assaulter could face actual consequences for their actions, whether that be them going to jail, getting killed (historical or fantasy) or simply left by their partner who was the victim. Instead itâs become a plot device that in the worst case is romanticized (the age gap with the younger one being a child is the common choice here) and in the best case thrown into the story casually, without preparation and often without the severity it deserves. All the while viewers/readers continue to watch and celebrate such content. The writers know this of course, which is how theyâre the ones making money.
If you still âdonât see the problemâ, the most important part youâre not quite right about is this:
>Everything youâre mentioning is fictional. Nobody was sexually assaulted, because none of the characters exist.
Why, do you think, does a whole group of people (that might be larger than you realize) have to look up trigger warnings about SA at all? Why are there whole sides dedicated to this?
I have a feeling bringing up statistics isnât going to do anything, but we know them all by now. 1 in 6/7. The story doesnât contain real SA of course, but real life does. So does it contain impressionable young people who consume media in vast quantities, binge watching shows sometimes in one day. It also contains assaulters, r..ists and in some cases people who have the definition of SA wrong. Especially the latter is dangerous, because Iâm sure the coworker Iâve mentioned earlier (and many others like this) sees even less of a problem with a child being with a grown person. This trope being acknowledged within a romance and not addressed as a problem can thereby leave small reminders in certain people, that their behavior is ok. Not everyone has the mental capacity, emotional intelligence or even the willingness to critically examine a characterâs choice. They just consume and enjoy.
While I was growing up, another trope was pretty popular in basically all genres of film and TV. The âKeep fighting even after she says noâ trope. A lot of men especially had that idea down to a T. My attacker included. He also didnât stop after my no. Or the tenth. Or the 20th.
I like many others donât look for trigger warnings because we slightly enjoy it less. We donât even look for them because we think about morality in any way. We look for them to protect our brains and bodies from trauma wounds being opened.
And while I can feel the âbut this is your trauma not mineâ coming, Iâll lastly say this: Morality at the end of the day can be analyzed to death. Whole philosophies have been developed around the thing. But Iâve never preached anything here. Iâve never said youâre immoral for watching or reading these stories. Morality and ethics for me is personal. Do I personally want to condone harmful rhetoric taking place and giving my money and thereby support for writers who realize that? No. Do I wish others would see that, too? Yes of course. How couldnât I, after what happened to me. But I donât control others. And I donât control you. So at the end of the day itâs about the question:
What can I sleep with at night?
Rahimus_ t1_iu890dc wrote
>It therefore doesnât make sense to judge fictional characters at all
You can most definitely judge fictional characters. The book tells you actions they took, and sometimes the motivation behind them. What I said is that it doesn't make sense to judge the morality of a book, because, it's a book, not a person/character.
>Who said anything about evil?
I mean, as you said, clearly I did. You're putting too much emphasis on this. It was simply a term I used in the comment â one often used in the discussion of fiction â as opposed to repeating immoral another time. I'm not gong to get in to a discussion of definitions here, but it's worth noting that "immoral" plays quite a key role in the definition of evil.
>So for example the assaulter could face actual consequences for their actions
Lmao. At this point, we would need to make a distinction between different types of fiction (e.g. realistic, historical, fantasy etc.). I'll address those 3, and leave you to ponder the rest. In real life, it's very common for people who commit SA to face no consequences. You would limit authors writing realistic fiction from portraying that part of our world? I don't see the justification for that. The same argument applies for historical fiction. In regards to fantasy, you need to take in to consideration the world that has been created. Maybe there are gelded men, after being found guilty of rape. At the same time, if the king rapes a handmaiden and nothing happens, that's simply the way of the world in this society.
None of these situations reflect poorly on the author â unless you think an author deserves to be cancelled merely for being able to design a story where a rape occurs, which I think is an indefensible positon.
> romanticized
>
> thrown into the story casually, without preparation and often without the severity it deserves
I'm unclear what the point you're trying to make here is. I've already discussed why SA may be romanticized in a text. The person comitting the SA would likely see a romanticized version of the reality from their perspective. In many cases (where it's more akin to statuatory rape than rape) the second character involved may also view the reality from such a perspective. That does not mean the author thinks rape is romantic...
What severity does SA deserve? In some fantasy worlds, it may be very common. In more realistic fiction, you mentioned the 1 out of 6/7 yourself, that sounds more like an everyday thing than something deserving a lot of severity.
>They just consume and enjoy
People are free to enjoy whatever literature or film they want. If they read about rape, and then decide to commit sexual assault, that's not something you can possibly blame the author for. People make their own decisions.
>Do I wish others would see that, too
I think this is the problem with your stance on this post, and in the comments. This is a subjective matter, yet you present your stance as if its the morally superior, objectively correct position.
[deleted] t1_iu6b29a wrote
[removed]
enJ0eable OP t1_iu6f1d9 wrote
Thanks for making my point for me.
I clearly said itâs the age gap I have the problem with (=inherent lack of consent), which is in fact not only âcondonedâ in western modern day societies, but to some degrees encouraged. Not least through arguments and deflection like yours. Just last week a 29m coworker told me about him hooking up with a 16 yo like thatâs a normal thing to do.
So I donât âforbid myselfâ from watching a show, I just donât want to watch it. Maybe look up the word bigotry again, because wanting to avoid triggers and wanting to actually enjoy content in oneâs personal time isnât it. (For similar reasons I also donât consume anything within the horror genre. Is that bigoted, too, when being jumpscared just isnât my idea of fun?)
Then the simple minded insult. Ironic. Fiction is written by real people. Who can take accountability. Who make money off of said content. Now you can argue thereâs a disconnect there, but I donât see it that way. And many other people donât either. Reminds me of folks who say âWe need to separate the art from the artist.â No we donât.
Lastly, the handmaidâs tale has many problems, but factually not that specific one you mentioned. Not going into detail here, as it would derail the discussion.
Rahimus_ t1_iu7znco wrote
>Fiction is written by real people. Who can take accountability.
Accountability for what? The sexual assault that didnât happen? The age gap that doesnât exist? You havenât explained whatâs inherently wrong with writing a story that contains SA. I donât see a problem. A story is something the author imagined, and wants to share with the world. If that story includes rape, then so be it.
This isnât about a disconnect between the art and the author, itâs about a disconnect between a fictional character doing something evil, and the author or the art being evil.
PiCoolerThanPie t1_iu80zrs wrote
I personally like stories w/ really messed up stuff like SA, but I do think there can be a moral line in regards to the portrayal of such scenes. Portraying SA etc as hot or desirable is not good.
Rahimus_ t1_iu84jk3 wrote
Can you clarify what you mean? I would say that if a story/chapter is written through the perspective of a character committing SA, it makes sense it would be described as hot/desirable. Thatâs just a consequence of the lens through which the story is told.
Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments