If you like queer romance, check out Everlina Maxwell's Winter's Orbit or Alexandra Rowland's A Taste of Gold and Iron. All loving sex scenes, no SA. I find that generally queer romance has less SA than romance marketed at straight people, though YMMV. I'll second the recommendation of Seanan McGuire's October Daye books, though there isn't much sex in them. It's not out yet, but Mia Tsai's Bitter Medicine has some of the most loving and hot sex scenes I've ever read (the publish date is in March, so look for it then).