I just read Elton John’s autobiography and I loved it. He’s had a pretty wild life and lots of issues stemming from a difficult childhood with insanely cold parents. He spent like sixteen years drugged out and it took a long time and almost dying for him to get sober. He finally found a meaningful life and happiness with his now husband at a mature age. So in a way he wasted a lot of time being drugged, unhappy, wracked with anxiety etc, but he also says something like “maybe I had to go through all that to get to where I am now”. Sorry, he said it much more eloquently but you get the point.

Anyway, it spoke to me because while I’ve not led a crazy rockstar life, I’m approaching middle age and I do have some regrets about not living life to the fullest so to speak. I also suffer from anxiety and it has held me back in many ways and caused issues in relationships etc. At the same time, I do feel like there was no other way and I’m slowly getting to know myself and what I need to be happy, but it just wouldn’t have been possible at a younger age because I didn’t really have the emotional support and guidance as a child/adolescent to get there earlier. So I had to go through some shit to get to where I am, where I feel like I’m on the brink of something great because I finally know myself and I’m settling into this peace that comes with age and experience if you’re open to it and open to working on yourself.