So honestly you should take your request to r/fantasy and r/printsf and r/suggestmeabook.

Publishing is a business and is subject to trends and the demands of the market. There is a wide range and variety of what you are looking for in older books, not all of them in realist settings from other Centuries. Although as a fan of historical adventure in particular, I think you are missing out.

The Deed of Paksenarrion has what you are looking for. I am currently loving the Lions of Al Rassan which has a character who matches your request learning to work with adults. It's an amazing book.