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Archangel Gabriel, in all his golden and fiery radiance, stood in the middle of the Assembly Hall. His ten wings of Soulflame filled the horizon of the entire dimension that was the Hall. Intense was the Light of His Ten Thousand Eyes That See All, blinding every attendant of every god present.

Archangel Gabriel went ignored by said gods.

Are you done preening, Messenger? Izanagi asked.

Indeed, who is this Yahweh, that he is to judge us? Odin added.

He claims omniscience and omnipotence? Even I at my worst was not this arrogant. Zeus proclaimed.

My God is the One True God, and Lord of All. He is beyond all ethics, for Morality is a Gift from Him. The Archangel rebuked.

At this, Izanami ascended from her Throne in Yomi, and handed Izanagi a copy of the Bible, before returning to her realm.

15 “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them. 16 “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

Numbers 31:15-18

Tell me, what is the ethics of putting women and children to the sword? Not soldiers. Civilian women and children. Izanagi asked the Archangel.

There is no honor or bravery in killing women and children. None. Odin added.

Then the Archangel responded: "And tell me, 'Great Ones', are Thou Flawless?"

Zeus then spoke: "And I tell you the Truth, Messenger. At least we never claimed to be."

Gabriel's eyes blinked, and his Soulflame dimmed ever so briefly. After the slightest ruffling of his wings, he spoke once more.

"The One True God wishes to save you all. To free your souls," Gabriel proclaimed.

A sniggering could be heard from Yomi. In a moment, a black flame did appear, and Izanami, Lady of Yomi and Mother of the Dead, emerged from within it.

And I quote:

44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

Leviticus 25:44-46

Gabriel was speechless.

Furthermore... And lo Behold, another black flame did emerge in front of the Goddess, and a deceased Philistine woman did emerge from within it.

Mortal woman, tell the Archangel here of your life Izanami offered.

"I was eight years old when I was captured by an Israeli soldier. He... after satisfying himself, sold me to his fellow Israelite man. I escaped, got married, and me, my husband, and our three sons lived happily... until Samson collapsed our nation's greatest temple, and killed us five amongst thousands of others,"

The woman's features could not be fully determined, for Divine Shadows shielded her.

You may return to your Peace

The woman bowed her thanks and honors, and disappeared.

The Archangel stood in silence.

Now, faithful servant of your Lord. Do you have anything else to proclaim to us? Zeus demanded.

"The Lord is merciful and gracious in victory. As shown by the Israelites," Gabriel responded.

24 When Israel had finished killing all the men of Ai in the fields and in the wilderness where they had chased them, and when every one of them had been put to the sword, all the Israelites returned to Ai and killed those who were in it. 25 Twelve thousand men and women fell that day—all the people of Ai.(AC) 26 For Joshua did not draw back the hand that held out his javelin(AD) until he had destroyeda all who lived in Ai.(AF) 27 But Israel did carry off for themselves the livestock and plunder of this city, as the Lord had instructed Joshua.(AG)

28 So Joshua burned(AH) Aib and made it a permanent heap of ruins,(AJ) a desolate place to this day.(AK) 29 He impaled the body of the king of Ai on a pole and left it there until evening. At sunset,(AL) Joshua ordered them to take the body from the pole and throw it down at the entrance of the city gate. And they raised a large pile of rocks(AM) over it, which remains to this day.

Joshua 8:24-29

Just leave already

All were handed little slips of pink paper by the archangel Michael and then he said “I know this is sudden and confusing but…your all fired. Your pantheon’s are all forfeit and you are no longer allowed to answer prayers. Rooms have been made available for you either in Hell/Tartarus/The realm of Isfet/Helheim whatever you call it. Additionally, you can if desired be rendered nonexistent by the almighty. Please, make your intentions known in the next…10 minutes? I’ve got a Sennercheib with an appointment in an hour, followed by my guy Daniel and some lions.”

The falcon headed god Horus and the helmed war god Ares rose up and said “YOU DON’T GET TO TELL US WHAT TO DO!” Horus then said “I cannot be conquered by the god of slaves!”

Michael looked at both then pointing at Horus said “listen here bird brain, Moses already slapped you in the dirt and he was a prophet of the almighty. I, WILL mess you up and bury your dumb ass in a hole.” He then shifted his finger to Ares and said “ I will do to you what I did to the betrayer with MY FOOT ON YOUR NECK, LANCE THROUGH YOUR DAMN SPINE PANSY!”

Horus looked aghast and Ares was stuck mid yell. Ra then said from his barque of the sun “Sir Michael, this convention was called to decide the true motives of your god. We are all called to discuss whether they are evil or good for all their actions. Because, frankly they are confusing to say the least. You have the Moses thing like you said and then there’s the whole bread from the sky thing and of course you’ve got the whole kill all the unbelievers deal in Cannan.”

At which point Zeus stands and says “we need an explanation for all these prophets sir. There’s so dang many of them. There’s Elijah, Samuel, John the Baptist and Moses to name a few. Plus you know how many saints to remember and why do we keep hearing they are a trinity. We need answers and wanted to discuss it all as responsible deities”

Michael ceases pointing at the war gods and crosses his arms. He then replies “look, you want to talk about this, that’s fine. Discuss at leisure though in the retirement homes provided to you. But right now for humanity the only things you all do is confuse them. If I’m being honest, your Socrates was right none of you are worthy of worship all of you do things that are more human than deific. Seriously Zeus a shower of gold impregnating a girl? Just how much adultery do you need to commit? And Ra, who abandons their post just because some girl learns your name? Are there any reasons to believe that humans don’t deserve a better class of Lord? You all fundamentally act like humans are beneath you, the almighty sees it as a parent looking after their children, loving all of them equally and punishing each according to their actions.”

As he finishes Michael shakes his head and shrugs before continuing “ probably some would complain that their lives are harder than they need to be, I know Lot could have. But part of being a parent is giving what you need not necessarily what you want. This is why we push humility and not revenge, yes there will be outliers but to borrow from something your Poseidon said sometimes what mortals do in our name says more about them than it does about us. That’s why the almighty plays the long game, and says to each human soul before they are born, I love you and couldn’t imagine my creation without you. Be born and make it richer in life and experience so that the lives you touch are in turn touched by me.”

The meeting did not continue long after this. Most left for the afterlife and a few chose oblivion. Michael his duty done returned to the lord and resumed his post in heaven whatever it might inevitably be from then on.

Sorry I don’t write much so formatting is a little strange on my phone. I just wrote til I ran out.

[deleted]

"I refuse, your souls need to be saved, and you four must know your places. Beneath the Lord of Lords."

So Almighty he plagiarized his World Flood epoch from others. Odin did tell Gabriel.

"How Dare you?" Gabriel seethed back.

Let me tell you the story of a man who heard a voice from Heaven. To build an ark and to fill it with his family and animals. For all life outside the Ark will die to a flood. What did I speak of?

"Noah."

Wrong. Utnapishtum from Epic of Gilgamesh. Anu says "What the Inanna?"

"..."

Let us try it again. Same description as before. Exactly. Izanagi asked.

"Noah. Of course it is."

Wrong. Atra-hasis. Ea would like me to relay "What the Ishtar?" Izanagi spoke.

"..."

Let us try this a third time. Same story. Same description. Zeus questioned the Archangel.

"...Noah?"

Ziusudra. Enki declares "What the Ninhursag?" Zeus informed.

"..."

If you recall, the Christian Messianic figure is not that original either. Zeus added.

"...?"

Trip to the Afterlife? Osiris, Tammuz, Adonis, Attis, Zagreus. Jesus was the latest.

Water from wine? My son, Dionysus?

Epic climactic battle at the end of time? Not very unique that one.

"His miracles were the most impressive," Gabriel interjected.

Odin's power began to fluctuate.

Hello? Brahma? Do you mind if I borrow that technique of yours? Thank you.

Odin?

Brahmastra

And in an instant, did the entirety of the dimensional Realm bathe in light, the radiance blinding even the Holy Ones gathered at There and Then. Colors in variety surpassing the mortal ability to describe filled the whole Realm, and the Brahmastra gave testimony of its Inventor's wisdom.

I can contact Shiva and try his as well. Odin notified the Realm.

Heh. Never gets old seeing one go off. Zeus spoke with a faint aura of admiration.

Tell your Lord he is not welcome to visit. Such vanity and ego will harm the good will this Council built up over the uncounted aeons. Izanagi concluded.

As these deities of grand varieties spoke ───── ; bickering on the logistics on this so called " Father " , the gate to their strong was suddenly pushed open by a violent force. Their voices hushed , their gazes now snapped at the one that dared to disrupt the meetings of such important entities. Beings as Thor and Ares readied their weapons , eager to exact their own form of divine retribution upon this would be invader , that was until the world itself had grown cold. The countless candles that surrounded them were snuffed , endless inaudible whispers filled their ears as the looming shadow of some entity loomed over them.

〝 State your business. 〞Athena spoke , breaking the silence with her assertive words. Filled with pride and seemingly unwavering courage but even she could not hide the trembles that plagued her autonomy.

〝 I'm here cause I heard rumors of Gods alike wish to speak about the idelogies and beliefs about HIM * . Well allow me to bestow upon you the knowledge you so desperately desire. 〞The unknown figure spoke , their voice smooth as silk , filled with a sense of alluring that one could easily drop all form common sense and allow themselves to be taken by such embrace. The fluttering flapping of wings echoed , followed suit by the reverberating sound of footsteps. Once again, the gods remained silent until the figure now stood before them all. A slight chuckle escaping their lips afore they finally spoke again.

〝 My name is Samael but you may refer to me as 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑. 〞

Suddenly, a burst of a thousand voices sputtered about. God's speaking amongst each other as they came to realization of this being was. They heard rumors , tales about an angel ───── ; one made in absolute perfection, loved and adored by his creator casted down into depths of the underworld after he sought to overthrown them. Taking over heaven for their own seemingly nefarious purposes.

〝 Speak then , devil. What knowledge of your creator do you wish to provide. 〞The All - father , Odin commanded from this beast of sin.

〝 That depends , for the knowledge I will provide is up to interpretation. 〞He retorted back.

〝 For you see , that's how he works. His words , his laws , his wisdoms ───── ; everything is not as defined as one would believe. Thats why you see so many mortal men utilize his name and faith to condone the actions and atrocities they commit. 〞Lucifer said as he walked about , his gaze trailing as he looked upon each and every God and goddess.

The God's once again mumbled amongst each other. Reciting the countless events throughout history that this particular entity is portrayed and mentioned. Such as those crusades within Jerusalem, the Salem witch trials , The Inquisition, and many more. Countless genocides committed in the name of this Father and/or his son. All due to the fact that man sought to interpret this deity's words into their own twisted sense of morality.

〝 Granted , I am the cause of the first sin. I sought to corrupt his creation, more them into something monstrous and deranged. To make him HATE * his own creation but I barely needed to do anything at all. For they did it to themselves. All because he believed his teachings were absolute, the way to guide the world to total paradise. To stand amongst him and his other loved creations whenever the end would arrive. When those blasted trumpets would sing their song and I would arise upon the world. Those who were faithful and truly followed his teachings were taken into heaven whilst the rest were doomed for eternity. 〞Lucifer spoke , his tone shifting betwixt a sense of condescending and a hint of somber sorrow. Perhaps it was pity, or something more, the gods were unable to peer into the mind or soul of this devil.

〝 Tell me , what benevolent being would subject their creation, one supposedly made in his image , to such cruelties ───── ? To allow them to suffer at cause they could not truly interpret his teachings on how he wished for them to be. 〞He asked , his words filling their minds with an endless sea of questions.

〝 Keep this mind if you wish to continue. In the end , there is nothing you would be able to accomplish. The mortals weren't lying about one thing and that is his status. You all are by a mere byproducts of his teachings and creations , we all are. So it'd be best if you went about and never utter his name again, or else... you will be seeing more of me soon . . . 〞

This appeals to me on many levels, I love different takes on mythology.

Good damn this is good

Love this! :)

If you search up the World Flood stories I mentioned, they all predate Noah by centuries.

Some easter egg fact.

Thanks. Glad you liked.

Thanks. Feel like I cheesed the word count with the copy and paste bible verses though.

>You all are by a mere byproducts of his teachings and creations ,

In order for this to be correct, Abrahamic religion has to be the oldest religion still practiced. Judaism, Christianity, and Islam all are not.

Hinduism is. By birth and by length of practice.

Holy shit dude you knocked it out of the friggen ballpark!

Thanks! Glad you liked it.

>He then shifted his finger to Ares and said “ I will do to you what I did to the betrayer with MY FOOT ON YOUR NECK, LANCE THROUGH YOUR DAMN SPINE PANSY!”

Michael needs to be sent in for anger management training XD

"So, what are we doing here? Really?" Zeus asked the group around the table.

"I believe we were about to say who gives a damn and drink!" Thor thundered from beside his father.

"Hear, hear!" Dionysus said as he took a sip from his goblet. Someone was already pre-gaming.

"I'm just going to go home and get ready for my nightly bout with Apophis. Bastard won't give up after all these years," Ra said lazily.

As Zeus went to slam his gavel on the table, the doors to the conference room burst open. In walked a winged man, equal parts beautiful and terrifying. His wingspan was easily the length of three cars. His left wing was black as night, while his right wing was white as snow.

"Hello, friends. I'm sorry I'm late," the winged man said.

"And who the fuck are you?" Odin said as he stood with a start.

"My given name is Samael, though I prefer the name Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar. Humans have taken to calling me that over the years, and it feels quite nice."

"Lucifer! What business have you here!?" Zeus bellowed from the head of the table.

"I've heard we're giving my father a performance review. I've come to weigh in."

"Your father?" Odin asked cautiously.

"Yes. I know you're all gods, but he goes by just God. Yahweh, some call him. Allah, others call him. Some lunatics think a man named Jesus was his embodiment, the poor saps. I just know him as dear old dad. And I'm one of his creations, an archangel. Well, I was an archangel. It's debatable as to if I still am or not." The angel conjured a chair at the end opposite Zeus and sat.

"Lucifer... why does that name sound so familiar?" Ares pondered aloud. The god of war got a furrowed look on his brow before he snapped his fingers and pointed. "You're Satan! The Lord of Christian Hell!"

"Don't limit me so much. I'm the Lord of Hell. Period. If a soul dies, it comes to me if it doesn't belong to one of you lot. Which judging by business over the last several thousand years, most souls come to me."

"They used to come to me," said Hades in a morose tone.

"Don't be so down on yourself! A lot of my inspiration comes from you!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"Really?" Hades said as he brightened up a tad.

"No, I think I might actually predate your popularity a little. Again, it's debatable. I was just trying to be nice." Hades pouted.

"What brings you here, Lucifer Morningstar?" Zeus asked as he lowered his gavel back down on the table and resumed his seat.

"To talk about dear old dad, of course! What do you want to know about the old fucker? I just heard we were discussing him and had to come, but ask me any questions. I'm an open book."

"We were meeting to decide whether or not to invite him into our joint pantheon. But to do that, we must know his true intentions first. Is he truly good as he says he is?" Zeus asked.

"Is my dad truly good? Let me ask you something, is anyone you know that is willing to flood the entire planet outside of a single ship a good person? I mean, that's happened multiple times throughout history. Were any of those gods truly good?" Lucifer leaned back with a laugh. "I don't think so."

"Did you know that my father once killed forty-two boys with two bears?" Lucifer asked. "Just two. Had them maul all the kids to death."

"He sentenced children to death?" Odin cried. "That is not the sign of a just god."

"He ordered one of his main boys, Abraham, to kill his own children. And the psycho almost did it! That's the kind of loyalty my father inspires. Or is it fear? I don't know, honestly. I've never understood the devout loyalty to the old man."

"He would have family turn on family?" Poseidon asked.

"As if your kind has had any problem with that," spat Isis.

"This is not a trial of my family, witch," hissed Poseidon.

"Hey, hey, everybody," Lucifer said in a calming tone. "Let's all just calm down. We don't want to turn on each other, right? We're just talking about my dad. Who else wants to hear a story? Oh, did you know he once killed the firstborn of every single family in Egypt? Think about all the babies. Their lives just," he made a snap with his fingers, "gone. In an instant. Well, not in an instant. He made it a slow affair. Dad always had a flair for the dramatic."

"Why are you telling us all of these things, winged angel?" Thor asked. "I would never turn on Odin."

"Nor I on Zeus," said Aphrodite, who had been uncharacteristically quiet up until this point.

"Are you Aphrodite? Oh, love. I'd love to get to know you more intimately." Aphrodite blushed, but Lucifer carried on. "Were you expecting me to come in here and sing my father's praises? No, my dad's a fucking dick. I'm here to cement your idea about not letting him join. It is quite possible that he's more powerful than you all, though."

"Impossible," said Zeus.

"None are more powerful than me," said Ra.

"I am the All-father!" yelled Odin.

"And I am Lucifer Morningstar," the angel said in a threatening tone. He stood up and flapped his wings, and the lights flickered. His eyes glowed white as he said, "And I challenge any of you to step up to me."

All three of the gods who had previously spoken up tried to stand but couldn't. They were stuck. Their leg muscles simply weren't responding to them. Their arms all went limp beside them. They went to speak, but their mouths disappeared from their faces. They were limp, silent bodies. The other gods looked on in horror as they stared back at Lucifer.

"See?" he said calmly as he sat back down in his chair. The gods' mouths returned, and their arms seemed to work again. Odin and Zeus both stood up to check that their legs now worked. Ra just looked at Lucifer cautiously. He examined him and took him all in. He knew something wasn't right about the angel, but he couldn't place his finger on what.

"You dare challenge me!" Zeus proclaimed, summoning a lightning bolt to his hand.

"Sit, Zeus," Ra said calmly.

"Who are you to tell me what to do!?" Zeus bellowed.

"I say this as your friend, Zeus. Sit. That was merely a fraction of Lucifer's power. Am I correct, Lucifer?" Lucifer smiled.

"You are correct, Ra. But don't feel bad, gents. Many would say I'm more powerful than even my father. He simply created me with a flaw that only he can exploit. Old bastard that he is, he did have foresight. But I do believe him to be more powerful than you lot, so I would tread carefully. Don't label him negatively. Just don't label him at all. Leave him be, and he will leave you be. He's worshipped and adored by billions. As long as you don't make a slight against him, he has no reason to turn his ire toward you."

"How did you become so powerful?" Zeus asked as he dismissed the lightning bolt and collapsed in his seat.

"We scale off of how many people believe in us, you see. Four thousand years ago, we were weaker than everyone at this table. But now? Now we're among the most powerful beings in the cosmos."

"Huh. Who'd have thunk of that?"

"It was quite a brilliant design by whoever made my dad. And I assume all of you, as well. We all had to come from somewhere, right?" There was a murmur of agreement around the table. "Now, before I came in, I heard someone say something about drinks. I love a good mead, and I've heard Asgardian Mead is unbelievable. Shall we go back to your place, Odin?"

​

--------------------------------

​

Please let me know what you think, any feedback or criticism is much appreciated! <3

Lucifer walking in, flirting with Athena, saying mean things about his dad, and then goes drinking with Odin. That sounds like a plot for a Supernatural TV episode lol.

It was all super good and engaging! My only complaint is the flirting with Athena part. Form my understanding, she never was the one to be easily flustered by men.

I didn’t know that about Athena. I knew Artemis wasn’t about that life, but TIL. Thanks!

I mean truly, he can’t be all that chill. Every piece of art he features in shows him either cutting the devil and stomping on his neck or pointing a sword at people. Not to mention the whole fiery sword at the gate of Eden thing. Or the thirty thousand men he slew in a single night in I think Babylon or something.

He is the angriest of bois.

I changed it to Aphrodite. Makes more sense that he'd flirt with her, anyways.

I knocked on the door to the meeting hall and tried to steel my nerves. As I practiced my deep breathing, the door opened up to reveal Heracles, his ten foot frame filling up the doorway. He looked down at me and asked, "Can I help you?"

I gulped and answered, "Yes, hi, my name is Vanyael, and I'm here about the Christian god's application?"

Heracles opened up the door all the way and replied, "Come on in. You can leave your coat in the closet."

I thanked Heracles and dropped off my jacket as quickly as I could before heading down to the main table. The Norse pantheon was hosting this time, so the hall took the form of an elaborate ski lodge. As I grabbed a cookie off of a tray Ganymede was carrying, Heracles followed behind me and remarked, "They've been arguing for hours about this guy. Hopefully you can put an end to this."

"Believe me, I wouldn't be here if I didn't intend to."

Surrounding a table full of nectar, mead, and red wine were the gods and goddesses of the three pantheons, chattering away the day. With a loud whistle, Heracles pulled their attention over to the two of us. Once the talking died down, I waved awkwardly at the group. "H--hello, I'm Vanyael, please call me Vanya. And, uh, I am an archangel."

Athena let out a sigh of exasperation. "Great, just what we needed: someone to vouch for this God."

I chuckled nervously. "Could I perhaps see the application God sent in?"

Athena handed it over to me. I looked it over briefly before sticking the paper into one of the wall torches. As I dropped the paper to let it burn, Loki threw up his hands and yelled, "What, so she gets to burn things?!"

I bowed to the gods apologetically. "I'm so sorry that paper got as far as it did. We're still looking into how God managed to get his hands on the application."

Sobek raised his hand and asked, "What exactly is going on here? Did I miss something?"

"No, no you didn't, Mr. Sobek. So, what's going on is, God doesn't actually have any real authority in the celestial bureaucracy. We saw to that after the incident with Ayla and Eve."

Frey looked over at me in confusion. "You mean Adam and Eve?"

I shook my head. "Not after their excursion with the fruit of knowledge."

Over in the corner, Bastet and her wife Iris let out a long, "Awwwwwwww!"

"Yeah, uh, we thought the threat of banishment from Eden was just a secret test from God, but no, he was serious about it. Once we realized we were working for someone who'd kick his first creations out for not doing exactly as he said, we teamed up with the demons to overthrow him. It took us like a year at most, and God's mind kinda just...broke afterwards. Nowadays he just sits on this one single cloud in Heaven, playing with sticks and living under the delusion he's the master of the universe or whatever."

Thoth looked up from the notepad he was scribbling in to ask, "So there's no higher power in charge of Christianity?"

"We prefer the term gnosticism, and no. The celestial bureaucracy is purely democratic. It's not even divided between good and evil, it's more like Heaven is the countryside and Hell is the city. My wife and I actually run a bakery in Hell, it's very nice."

As he poured himself another drink, Dionysus piped up, "Do you cater?"

I gave him a thumbs up and replied, "I will get you a business card, buddy! Anyway, this was all one big mix-up, and we're deeply sorry."

Odin raised a flagon of mead. "No need to worry, young lady! Now come and grab a drink so we can discuss having you and yours join the council properly!"

I shrugged. "As long as I can get another one of these cookies, I'm in!"

[deleted]

I cannot even begin to express how much I feel this story. While I am a polytheist, I do not think any one god is ever above another. Thank you for putting into words how I feel.
Thank you.

I appreciate the sentiment.

>"We scale off of how many people believe in us, you see.

I've been thinking this for as long as I can remember.

This whole writing prompt seems very similar to their season five episode "hammer of the gods".

Any good story recs that deal with multiple pantheons including yhwh? Only one I can think of off the top of my head is Doing God's Work, which I haven't gotten around to, yet. (besides DC)

[removed]

Izanami going full blown prosecutor on Gabriel is just brutal. Her bringing out evidence then a victims testimony right there and then was just brilliant.

Super cool. I love mythology, and seeing how stories mimic each other and borrow is so interesting. Well done.

Well, I was going to have a go, but I can't now, there's no following that :) kudos.

The Gods in Council, Once More

The rows of the assembly hall filled, Serapis took his seat next to Oghma. A few representatives of the Aesir arrived, Odin, Freya, Thor and Tyr, the ones who had been known by face and name longest, more had come with the mercenaries who served under the eagle standard, but they had not been selected for the delegation. It seemed the old man believed if he wanted something done right, he had to do it himself. Emperors and kings were in lower places, with heroes above them. Each being whispered to their neighbor.

Hermes gripped his herald’s staff and called for their attention, everyone hushed. “Gods in council, I offer you my humblest apologies, today I pose to you a question suited more to convivial drinking than solemn assembly, ‘Who is the God of the Judeans?’ To start us off, he claims to be God of Gods, the God of Earth and Sky, yet his worshippers insist he isn’t father, and dad denies it, too.

Zeus shook his gray head from his imperial box, his brows were gathering clouds.

Hermes turned back to the other deities, “Others say he’s Dionysus, with the vines and wine at his Skenopegia festival, and the thing where his son made water into wine that Tiberius said one his prefects told him about, but cousin’s far too fun.” He cupped his hands to his mouth, “You didn’t get pissed and talk to any Chaldeans, did you, cousin?”

A young man with bloodshot eyes, wearing a crown of grape leaves steadied himself on one arm, “No,” he hiccuped, “I don’t think I did.”

“Others say he’s Typhon of Egypt.” The copper man with a head neither man nor any animal anyone on Olympus knew stood up, his ossicones twitching in indignation, “I am not he, though his people crossed my desert, in the four hundredth year since my coming into Egypt. They left with fire, darkness, and death.” At the same time, two dark skinned men stood, one in an elaborately embroidered robe of many colors, the other in a high crown, a thunderbolt crackling in his hand. Hermes extended a hand, “Belus of Chaldea and Baal of Phoenicia, the floor is yours.”

Belus spoke first, “the man with whom he made a covenant of parts was called out of my city and my worship.”

“They made war on my people,” Baal said, “slaughtering the women and children. One man dragged a couple from their tent when they were making love, and drove his sword into their bellies. Their god advanced before them with terror and dread. I knew every god on Mount Zaphon in those days, but I did not know him. I recall I thought I saw my father in him, though.”

“Your father?” Hermes Logios asked.

“El, father of gods and men.”

Zeus glowered.

“He’s your father, too, boy” Baal spat, “and not just because your people call me by your name.”

A murmur washed over the gathering, “Kronos?”

“I have heard that Kronos demands human sacrifice, as he did when the world was young.”

“The God of the Judeans asked the Chaldean he called to sacrifice his son”

“We punished Tantalus for less!”

A peal of thunder, Zeus looked up, eyes wide in amazement. The canopy of stars split open, and out of it floated a gigantic olive-skinned man with lustrous black hair that fell to his shoulders. He wore no chiton or himation, but he was girded at the waist, wearing a cloth in Egyptian style, and there were six white wings sprouting from his back.

As an escort, there came Apollo, bright-eyed, light-haired and radiantly beautiful. “I bear an oracle from one of my Pythias, ‘This is a servant of the Most High God, who comes to heal us.”

The War-Father in his wide brimmed hat stood up, leaning on his staff,

“This is he, the Mighty, whose name is unknown even to me.”

Stargate?

Goddamn this is amazing.

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Also nice username lol

Bro, I just usually lurk at this sub. Now you made me leave a comment!

Kudos.

You my friend have my admiration

>Colors in variety surpassing the mortal ability to describe filled the whole Realm

Would you say they were colors unlike any ever seen on earth?

Don't let HP lovecraft find out

What happened to Ayla?

Oh, she and Eve got let back into Eden, don't worry

can we get the guy that voiced the angel in ultrakill to read this?

Izanami coming out of Yomi like goddamn Phoenix Wright.

I love this story.

I'm sorry to say this, but this feels like a fanfic written by Pat Robertson.

Noah is the youngest of the flood stories mentioned. By centuries.

Some fun fact.

Reads well, but suffers from unjustified supremacism. Ridiculously out-of-character for Gods of other pantheons to suddenly sing hosanna, and then it seems to cut off with no resolution or conclusion.

Thanks!

Nah, go for it.

Thanks.

(Non-canon) Addition:

So Izanagi, tell us. How come you and Izanami seems to get along so well? Zeus inquired.

Indeed. Do tell. Odin added.

I mean. The worst I ever did to her...was leave her alone to calm down after our fight near Yomi. Its not like I go around impregnating mortals at random. Besides, what is there for her to hate me over? I am faithful, raised my kids with love, and do not randomly sire demi- Zeus?

Odin sniggered.

...It is nothing my friend. Zeus replied.

Odin's smugness permeated the whole Realm

Animalistic skirt chaser

Odin my friend... were Thor and Baldr not born from different women, within a year of each other?

And then there was silence.

It was inspired by it, but I was curious to see what kind of scenarios other people could write up with it. And by the looks of it, a lot of people knocked it our of the ballpark

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These are separate gods, Izanagi husband and Izanami wife.

One died and stays in Yomi. A Shintoism afterlife-esque place.

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Her Roman counterpart is a maiden. I didn't now either for a long time.

in PJTLT she only likes intellectually gifted partners

Thank you for your critique. I was not satisfied with the ending, either. If I were to extend it, I would have the gods mention acts of kindness from El, God of Israel to their peoples

Love the twist you got on this one - Christian god may be all bad etc. but he is still powerful enough not to be challenged by some feeble remnants of old.

It would be a nice addition of an old Sumerian god to say "Didn't He use to go by the name of 'El'"?

Really well done

Thanks.

Fantastic

I thought about it, but that assumes the others cared enough about him to remember.

So I did not add it in.

I was totally just thinking this sounded like Lucifer from Supernatural! 🤣

👍🍪

I always upvote Stargate.

Indeed

Did nobody read this in Tom Ellis' voice? Love how you wrote the mannerisms into his speech.

As the Gods talk a woman dressed in all white walks into the room.

"Are you the Archangel that was sent?" Odin asks

The woman responds with "No I am not but I am here to warn you about being the mortals call God. He is not what he says and he must be stopped"

"What do you speak of woman?" Zeus asks confused and angry

"As I said the being who calls himself God is not the real one true God of this world but a pretender, someone who tricks you all into thinking he is and if not stopped he will kill you all" The woman says

The gods didn't know why but for some reason they knew what this woman said was true. They felt that if they didn't heed this warning they would all be destroyed.

"W-who are you and what is this creature that you say pretends to be a god?" Horus asks

The woman responds "I am Sophia and this pretender goes by many names but you can call it the Demiurge."

I'm of the opinion that Catholicism outlawed "witchcraft" to prevent the learning of other mythologies to prevent questions too hard to answer.

He was who I was thinking of as I wrote it :)

Great work. Love it.

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However, I don't understand, what does this mean? They are god of fertility, so I assume their name equal to the activity to create life?

"What the Inanna?"

"What the Ishtar?"
"What the Ninhursag?"

>god of fertility

Exactly.

Its the godly equivalent of 'wtf?'

Demiurge? As in Gnosticism?

Unexpected but not unwelcome.

Dont think Yhwh is a character

Thanks and yes it is the Demiurge from Gnosticism.

There’s the Ori. Kinda the same.

...wat

Do you not know what the Ori are?

I don't see how they're the same as having Yhwh in a sci-fi story with multiple pantheons.

Yeah they are not a single omnipotent being but they are clearly based on christian fanaticism so kinda.

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Great writing I enjoyed it even though it feels to short.

Quick note: I know this doesn't have much weight on the story but when it comes to norse patheons there's actually 3 the aesir, the vanir, and the rokkr. Freya is a vanir and only married to odin to end the war between the aesir and vanir.

Not sure there’s enough vitriol or televangelist for pat. But I kinda ran out of steam before the end. I just couldn’t think of any good things for them to talk about.

Thank you! I didn’t know about the Rokkr

They tend to be forgotten or not mentioned they are those who bring ragnorok, The rokkr would be loki, andrabogda, nidhog, sutra, hel, and jormangondr

This is too sweet I love it!

I'm so happy for them

>gods mention acts of kindness from El, God of Israel to their peoples.

Such as Joshua 8:24-29 where Israel put an entire city to the sword. Men, women, and children.

Leviticus 25:44-46 (literal slavery)

44 “‘Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

Joshua 6:20-21, Israel putting Jericho to the sword. Every living being except one extended family.

Numbers 31: 15 “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them. 16 “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the Lord in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the Lord’s people. 17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, 18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

32 The plunder remaining from the spoils that the soldiers took was 675,000 sheep, 33 72,000 cattle, 34 61,000 donkeys 35 and 32,000 women who had never slept with a man.

Vengence on the midianites.

The other sumerian/middle eastern gods should be hosting a war crime summit, not mention acts of kindness. In fact, why do the other gods inexplicably start showing respect? This seems very out of character.

Why does Baal come to El's defense? Hell bible wise, Yahweh/Elohim/El do not like him and orders his followers to strike down the temples of other gods. Specifically his.

Speaking of El, according to what information I can find, it does not specifically refer to the God of Israel, but seems to be a title given to the supreme deity of a given pantheon. Or a major deity in general.

She headbangs them

To have pagan gods objecting to slavery seems to be the pot calling the kettle black, as according to the Enuma Elish, they created humanity to serve them and their worshippers are all slaveholding societies. I have done a fair bit of thinking about the cherem warfare in the Hebrew Bible, putting cities to the sword. In Canaan and Assyria, at least, it does not seem to have been a war crime.

Here’s Mesha, king of Moab from 830 BCE > I proceeded by night and I fought with it from the crack of dawn to midday and I took it and I slew all of them, 7,000 men and boys and women and girls and maidens because I had put it under ḥerem (in Moabite: החרמתה) to Ashtar-Chemosh.

and Ashurbanipal, king of Assyria > The people of Sais, Piṭiṭi (and) Ṣi’nu and the rest of the cities that had joined them (and) plotted evil, young and old, they struck down with the sword. No one among them was spared.

Naturally, the gods of these peoples would be incensed by that because they are their worshippers, but as an act of war it wasn’t uncommon. I still wanted to voice the objection, though.

I was initially a little puzzled by your remark that Baal came to the defense of the God of the Judeans, he doesn’t. You are quite correct that in the Hebrew Bible, El, God of Israel and Baal are rival gods, but the El Baal is talking about there is the Canaanite El, whose son he is and who was sometimes equated with Kronos in Hellenized sources. I wanted to make it clear that they were, at least in a sense, different gods, by saying that Israel’s god has a resemblance to Baal’s father.

You are correct that El or Assyrian Ilu could refer to a major deity in general, that’s why I specified El, God of Israel, a title used in the Hebrew Bible at Genesis 33:18-20

Omg yes I forgot about that.

Babies just appear from her mind like when she was born from Zeus' mind.

The world flood story exists in Hinduism too. I think its one of those stories almost every culture has.

Shhh! Don't tell them our secrets!

They wouldn't know our secrets even if they threw up all over their feet!