it was the perfect plan. launder the chaos crystals, pretend to feel guilty for my actions, get imprisoned and bribe the guard.

but i didn't expect HIM!

the hero of light, evils bane, werewolf slayer, giant spider exterminator, and endangerer of rats.

but i know him by one name, his real name.

joe.

"hey joe" i say to him, thinking through my options.

"silence dark lord. you will pay for your crimes."

he always was a grumpus, never making time for small talk

"i know you don't want to stay here, how about you cut me down right now, save the time it would take to bring me to the guillotine."

"as much as i would love to do that, this sword only spills the blood of literal monsters, not figurative ones"

looks like i can't escape though death, which is a shame. that enchanted amulet of mine was collecting dust. i need to think of something else then, something quick, time is ticking.

one idea, i didn't want to do it, the fourth wall isn't something to be messed with usually, but i can't waste any more time thinking of ways to convince him.

"if i don't escape, how else will we have a sequel?"