"So, what's the big idea?"

I snapped out of my star-filled stupor enough to recognize that Speedster, the actual Speedster, was talking to me.

"Uh, holy shit. Sorry. But, uh, what do you mean?"

"This is your package, yeah?"

I double check the address, and the name. Sure enough, it's my package. "Uh, yeah."

"And you made this order at 11:55pm?"

Weird line of questioning, but whatever. "I only made it a few minutes ago, yeah."

"And you requested same-day delivery?"

This is kinda weird. Is he mad? "Yeah, came free with the purchase."

"So... what's the big idea?!"

Oh, he is mad. Why is he mad? "I...needed this package?"

"You needed this package? You needed it enough to send some boys from out-of-state to deliver it? In five minutes?!"

I chew on the words for a moment. Does he...think I expected this package tonight? Did the delivery guys think so?

"What, got nothing to say for yourself?

Surely not. Surely this is just a misunderstanding. "Look, I don't know if I've said something to offend you, Speedster, sir. I just..."

"You've offended me by expecting a delivery in five minutes across state lines! You've...!"

Speedster carries on for a few moments, but brain tunes him out as I make a horrible connection. I don't want to believe it. And maybe it's not completely true. Maybe this is just a weak point; after all it is two past midnight and the Speedster is only human... presumably. But still, a seed of a question is planted, perhaps ruining the visage of my favorite super hero ever:

Is Speedster actually an idiot?

I hold up a hand to stop Speedster, interrupting. "Sorry, Speedster. I think I see what's going on now. You've assumed, I'm guessing, that I was expecting this package tonight, as in, before midnight. And, I'm thankful to you for doing so, it is a big help. But that's not the case. I was expecting this by the end of day tomorrow. Er, today. Whatever. I wanted this package expedited, but I know how this stuff generally works. I'm not an idiot, I know it's a long way from the shop to here."

The Speedster looked flummoxed for a moment, before looking stoically embarrassed. "Well...it's still a trip those poor workers have to take. They don't get paid nearly enough for something like that!"

"Then it sounds like you're talking to the wrong guy. I'd be more than willing to pay extra if it meant the delivery folks got paid better, and before you said something, I assumed they were paid well."

Speedster seemed to open his mouth to say something, before closing it in embarrassment.

"Listen, I'm not about to say anything about our conversation. I don't need that in my life, and honestly, I'm a huge fan. I just would like to ask for one small favor..."

Speedster looked me over, before giving a sigh. "And what might that be?"

"Could I get a selfie? No one will ever believe that I met the Speedster if I didn't!"