"Yeah, so I think there's like, thirty-four of them now? I tried labeling them with sticky notes but Steve #22 likes to eat them for some reason. The post-it notes, I mean."

"Bro, what the fuck? Like how?"

"Dunno man. I think it's something to do with this weird portal thingie Ned built in the basement cause I remember Steve #1 going down there like a month ago the day he disappeared. Yelled at Ned that his dumb nerd shit ate Steve and Ned said he'd go find him but he hasn't been back. Whatever, me and the Steves are chilling."

"Dude, that's kinda cool. Unlimited Steves. Think we can throw some kegs in the portal?"

Someone is running up the stairs, panting heavily. All Steves scuttle under bed in fear. The bedroom door is thrown open, revealing Ned, disheveled and holding another Steve.

"I finally...found your...dumbass cat!"

"Oh word! Welcome back bro. Here, slap this sticky note on him and put him with the others."

"...#35? The others? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, just chuck him under the bed."

"Whatever man. Just keep him out of my shit." He sets Steve #35 down and nudges him under the bed, then leaves.

"..."

"..."

"...Bro, do you think there's gonna be another Ned tomorrow?"

"...Ah fuck."

"Should we tell him?"

"Eh. Not our problem. C'mon, let's go outside with the Steves. They like to potty in the neighbor's roses and it's hilarious."

My friends told me not to go home with her. Black hair, black nails, and eyes like black pools with a bit of mud around them. "She looks like a witch dude." I told them she didn't, it's a style, and they shouldn't be so weird about it. "I don't know man. Something is different." I stepped back and told them that I've been having a rough week and I needed this. They patted me on the back and we all made up.

So, I took the girl home that night. I won't get into the dark details, but after it was all over, we started talking about life.

"My Cat went missing last week." I told her. "I haven't been eating right, and I couldn't even sleep the first few nights."

She rolled towards me and grabbed my hand so tightly that I winced.

"Do you want your cat to come back?" I looked at her strangely, then she repeated "Do you want your cat to come back?"

It was a silly question. "Of course I want my cat to come back."

"Good," she smiled. "It shall be done."

That was an odd way to phrase it.

I left that night. The clarity kicked in, and suddenly the decorations around the house began to have an effect on me: a taxidermy zebra head staring out over the bed, a strange herbal smell that threatened to put me to sleep, and a dried hand hanging next to the door that I hoped was a monkey's.

The next day, Stanley came back. He looked like he'd been staying at the Ritz Carlton instead of on the streets. His fur was perfect, and he seemed better than ever. That was the best day that I'd had in a long time.

So you'd think when he came back for the second time, I'd have been equally elated. Instead, I was confused. He looked the same as Stanley and acted the same as Stanley, but there was doubt in my mind, so I laughed and posted it on social media as some cosmic coincidence.

Then, on the third day, coincidence seemed impossible, and instead, I found my mind drifting back to the words of the girl. Maybe she'd done something.

Today is day 11, and I've been searching for her for days. I told my manager that I was in a car accident, and I've burned through all of my sick days and started to cut into my PTO. The bus I took to get to her apartment and the bus I took to get home both went through different neighborhoods. I found the building I went into, but even after asking every tenant I could find, nobody seemed to know her.

I don't know which Stanley is real, or if any of them are, but I'm running out of space, cat food, and time.

I need to find that witch.

When Mister Snickers first came back after being away for 17 days and 5 hours (yes I counted), I was relieved and happy. He had lost weight over the time he was gone and his fur wasn’t as shiny s always. But he was back and that was all that mattered. The next day when I came home from work I saw Mister Snickers sit on my porch. It confused me, as I thought I had kept him inside for the day. Also the collar I had put on him was missing. But heaven knows cats do weird things, so I took him inside. Imagine my surprise when I found Mister Snickers, with his cute little blue collar, sitting in the kitchen waiting to be fed. Even though I am a big cat lover, I did the responsible thing and called animal services to let them know I had found a cat. They told me no cat matching that description was missing. As my new visitor was cute, looking like Mister Snickers after all, I decided to keep him. I gave him a red collar, and in that moment I was happy I always had spare collars lying around. I named the newcomer Mr Twix.

As I was sitting in my armchair and reading that evening, I observed the two cats. They looked identical except for the collar. That and, upon closer inspection, I found that Mister Twix‘s white patch under the chin was just a tad bit more triangular. The two cats seemed to get along great.

The next morning, a Saturday, I woke up early for my morning run. Great weather. Back at home I found yet another cat on my porch. Looking like Mister Snickers and Mister Twix. I took him in and he quickly made himself at home. My other two cats seemed weirdly calm with him, both sitting in the kitchen and watching the new cats every move. I took the last collar I had, a green one, and gave it to the new cat, alongside with naming him Mister Peanut. His patch had edges just a little bit more defined than Mister Twix, but still, looking at the three cats together from more than twenty centimetres the only difference was their collars.

On Sunday the next cat showed up. It was at this point that I started questioning my sanity. After all, what is the chance of four almost identical cats coming four days in row? I didn’t have a collar anymore so I gave the new cat an old bracelet if mine and named him January. Even though I honestly hoped there would be no more mysterious cats appearing, I decided to make a few collars for potential use. And I took a Picture of each cat.

The next day another cat showed up. And the following day. It has now been 34 days since Mister Snickers came back and I have 34 seemingly identical cats roaming my house. I have no idea what is happening, why the cats keep showing up, or why they all seem identical besides their chon patch which gets sharper with every cat. Gradually, yes, but comparing Mister Snickers to Thursday I could actually tell a difference (after I went through all twelve months I switched to weekdays, not wanting to just number the cats. Following this I started with the periodic table, I mea no way there will be over a hundred cats, right?).
Something I still can’t quite wrap my head around is how the cats don’t seem to be that hungry. Sure, I now go through three cans of canfood instead of the one Mister Snickers would eat, but how to 34 cats share only three cans?

On day fourty - cat‘s name is Argon - something seems to be up with the cats. When o make myself dinner they’re all sitting around in one big circle, watching me eat. It is a bit creepy, so I raise my eyebrows at Mister Snickers and ask him what kind of catconvention this is.

“I’m bringing my brothers from dying universes over.“ I almost spit my food out. Did my cat just talk to me? I must be going crazy, seriously insane. “Yes, I can talk now“, tells me Mister Snickers. “Holy Shit.” Is all I manage to answer. March steps forwards. “We’re sure you are very confused about what’s going on now. Fourth cats and all.” I nod, too stunned to speak. “Across the multiverse people have bee building portals for travel”, Nitrogen takes over. “The issue arises from their instability. Some pretty nasty people have been abusing the portals to hop universes but when they break the space-time-continuum to often every jump makes the universe they travel to unstable.“
I have forty talking cats, and there is multiverse travel. Oh my. ”That’s where I first disappeared”, Mister Snickers chimes in again. “I went across the multiverse and met other versions of myself.” His tail twitches at all the other cats. “Cats travel the multiverse quite often, but I unfortunately got stuck in one so it took me longer to get back. Anyway a few of the ones o visited were unstable, so I told my other me-s they could come here if needed.“ The cats meow in agreement. “We didn’t all mean to come here and burden you, but we can locate each other. The more of us in one place, the higher the chance others will follow.” Mister Peanut takes over. “We are looking for a pocket cat dimension to which we ca travel, and we’re pretty sure we’ve found it. But we need to be 47 to get there.“ “Is that so”, is all I can answer. I look at Mister Snickers and finally manage a proper sentence: “Does that mean you’ll leave me?” My cat jumps onto the table and looks me into the eyes. “No, I won’t leave. You‘re my human after all. But eight more cats will come so 47 can travel. After that no more cat masses.” “We thank you for your hospitality“, some cat — I think it’s either Monday or August — says. “We know it isn’t easy with this many cats. But in eight days we will be complete, and then you’ll never see of us again. Single cats might travel though here to get to us, but Mister Snickers will guide them.” “That’s nice of you”, I say and pet my cat. “Yes.” He purrs.

Eight more days until alternate versions of cat can travel to a pocket dimension. Whelp, at least I can’t say my life’s boring right now.

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