Submitted by ArseneArsenic t3_10h9z1v in WritingPrompts
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[deleted] t1_j57fkgm wrote
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ay1717 t1_j57lu98 wrote
This is an excellent prompt
Writteninsanity t1_j57mz22 wrote
"Hold the line!" A commander yelled somewhere above us. Had that been closer than the last? Were the soldiers faltering? Were they going to break through the gates soon?
"Clelia" my Quartermaster shouted, "task at hand," I was about to apologize, but they'd already taken off toward the entryway.
I returned to work, peeling back one of the cradles I'd spent a lifetime creating. As I opened it, the child inside started to wriggle, exposed to the elements again. "Come here. It's okay," I whispered as I reached into the cubby and pulled out the baby.
They weren't ready to leave, but we had to go.
"Here!" one of my coworkers called. I turned and passed the child to them as its soft coos were drowned out by legions of footsteps above us.
For a moment, I locked eyes with Avicia as they took and then tucked the baby. They nodded at me, then looked to the door. "Are you coming too?"
I shook my head, "May the Keeper guide you," I offered as a blessing. Avicia stared for a moment and then shook her head as well. I'd trained her; She'd joined the nursery when I'd already seen generations rise in service to our Queen. "Go," I added.
"Clelia..."
"I will find you," I lied, "I'll be right behind you; I just can't- " I stopped trying to explain, "Get out of here! Take them to safety."
"The Queen will still need you when the sun rises, Clelia," Avicia turned away and took a deep breath. I thought she would add something for a moment, but instead, she took flight down the hallway, following other aides who had been given their precious cargo.
I steeled myself before setting on another cradle. They were well sealed, meant to keep the children safe from the harsh elements, but if the fortress was overrun they would become prisons.
The first lock on the cradle came away, and I pulled out my weapon to break the second; it wasn't like I needed to leave it in good condition for the invaders.
"The Queen!" Came a panicked cry from the stairway to the upper floors. "The Queen! They've found the Queen!"
A murmur swept over the room, and then a buzz. The shaken soldier stumbled down the last steps and then tumbled into the nursery. He was covered in a million small cuts, breathless from shouting and injury.
I pulled the child out of the cradle and held it close; it was somehow brave enough not to cry.
"They came from above," the soldier sputtered out, "th-there are too many. We're all going to-" they were cut off by two guardsmen covering their mouth and pinning the soldier to the floor.
It sounded like there were footsteps on the stairs for a moment, but then it became clear; It wasn't a soldier. It was a lockstep march of countless invaders.
My Quartermaster rushed over to the guards and pushed them off the soldier, exchanging quiet words as I passed the child I'd freed off to another runner. There wasn't time for a solemn exchange as the Quartermaster rose and spoke.
"Grab what you can now. We're leaving. Those who can fight, we're headed upstairs."
I took a deep breath and sent a silent prayer out to the wind that my lie to Avicia wouldn't be held against me. As I started toward the stairway, the Quartermaster met my eyes and shook their head. It was slow, apologetic.
I understood. I was old. I would be a liability in a formation. They were denying me a chance to fight and die for my Queen.
Just as I was about to turn away, my Quartermaster walked toward me. "Teach the young Clelia," they commanded, "they're going to need you."
"Yes, Quartermaster."
"Iris," they corrected before walking toward the militia.
I didn't stay to hear the speech, instead, I took off down the hallway as the last children were freed by others. I flew over the structures that had been built over generations, fixtures that had been carved by my friends.
I went to the walls.
The walls of the fortress had stood since before the Queens had guided us here with their infinite wisdom. They were built of the strongest materials I'd ever seen. They were mightier than mountains and had stood against storms.
But even with all their might, the walls hadn't been enough. As I erupted into the cool night air, I could see them, the invaders. From my vantagepoint, they resembled a black river that stretched across the mighty plains into the yawning void of the night. They had scaled the walls at dusk. Our soldiers were mightier and better trained than their savage masses, but it hadn't mattered. We numbered thousands. They numbered millions.
I was about to leave for the rallying point, a sky-piercing tree far from the invaders, but then I saw it. Our neighbors had a castle as mighty as ours, but it was besieged. They had just begun fighting off the first wave of the same invasion. They would be overrun.
It was the end of the world.
They say that the mysterious is the will of the Keeper. The hive sleeps and is suddenly clean. The walls crack and repair themselves. The Keeper did it all.
I'd dreamt once that I'd seen him. Massive enough to dwarf our fortress and surrounded by soldiers from every Kingdom. The preachers had said that it was impossible to know the Keeper from within the hive. Impossible to know his ways.
Impossible or not. He was the last hope.
I might have been old, but I still had wings. I took a leap of faith off the hive and shot off into the night, away from the tree, away from safety and toward the one place I'd seen the Keeper before.
There was something there as I approached, something massive and arcane, but it wasn't the Keeper as I remembered them. The Keeper was a pure being a white cloth, but this was a myriad of colours.
The end of the world didn't have time for perfection. I needed them.
I flew up to the Keeper and cried out, but he didn't deign to look at me. I landed on his massive form, and he didn't offer attention.
My Queen was dead. My home was ruined. I would be a blasphemer.
"Avicia, Iris. I'm sorry."
I plunged my weapon into the Keeper, pressing it into his skin and piercing divinity. He growled, and I could feel the air vibrate as he did. I tried to pull away, but my weapon was stuck fast.
Of course, striking a god was to invite death.
My vision began fading, but as I felt the world close in around me, I heard the Keepers' voice, somehow both soft and mighty.
"What's going on with the bees?"
I fell with the first step the Keeper took toward the hive. I dipped into the black.
"Ants!" The Keeper bellowed as a mighty war cry as the colony came into view. I would die, but divine wrath would sustain the hive.
For Queen and Colony.
---
/r/Jacksonwrites to join the colony. Thank you to Deco-nouveau for calling me out on misgendering the bees early so I could avoid later embarrassment.
deco-nouveau t1_j57nq4g wrote
The fact that some of the warriors and workers were male is frustrating. They're bees!
Otherwise, this is excellent
Writteninsanity t1_j57nvjp wrote
I’m actually doing an editing pass to remove gendered language aside from queen. The first pass should be done soon.
Edit: Ya know, aside from the he / hims to refer to the keeper. Aside from that it should all be gender neutral unless I missed something now. I know that the bee's names should all be feminine but...
Wanna know what? I liked the names but you're right. Names changed to still be Roman inspired but now female. Thanks.
Kheldarson t1_j57nzc1 wrote
Oh damn, this was so good!
Jce_WritingPrompts t1_j57pv2j wrote
The floor of the refuse chamber vibrated, a strange violent vibration that made Wyatt feel sick to his stomach. The queen was dead. On the other side of the door, the mindless butcher wasps were feasting on his kin. If they breached this chamber, they were next to the brood chamber. He thought of the white larva, the future generation, in the other room, stacked floor to ceiling. and wondered how much promise would be ended today before they ever had a chance. A great sense of loss overcame him.
He looked up and saw the ventilation shafts above him. A straight line to the outside. Wyatt could only laugh. His one mangled wing would prevent him from flying very far. It had prevented him from doing a lot of things. Often in moments of feeling like a burden to the hive he would overindulge in royal jelly as he had done this morning, leaving him feeling sluggish and slow.
The wasps were hammering at the door now, attempting to break the hexagonal wax structure. Wyatt started stacking refuse into a pyramid, a stepping stool to get into the ventilation shaft. From there, he thought, he could claw his way out of the hive. He looked at his wing again. What would he do once outside? He needed to get the Keeper's attention. He couldn't fly, he was useless, a burden. Wyatt shook these thoughts away and continued his construction.
Finally, he climbed the make-shift stairs into the ventilation shaft as the wax door gave and the barbarian horde spewed into the chamber. He scratched, clawed, and shimmied his way up the vent and could only imagine razor sharp mandibles behind him. Too much royal jelly made the corridor tight and the going slow. Wyatt vowed to get in shape if he ever made it out of this. The exit grew closer and closer until finally Wyatt was able to grab the edge and hoist himself into the sun and wind. He laid there panting for a moment. The wind. Wyatt stood up, looked around for the holy Keeper and found her kneeling near the bed of flowers in her sun hat. He turned his body to face her and felt the wind on his back. He sprinted and leapt high into the air, opening his wings like a glider. The wind caught his wings and it took all his strength to hold them open. He soared towards his last hope and fell directly in front of her.
"Huh?" she looked at the motionless bee in front of her. It looked like it was...panting? "I better check the hive."
SoupSpounge t1_j57thbw wrote
Wow i didnt expect to tear up like that when he saw her by the garden. Thats sort of uncommon for me. I love your story. Thank you.
Pretend-Orange3026 t1_j57tj47 wrote
Note: I’m making some warriors and soldiers male but my bees have equality in their jobs...
Talane the mighty soldier is searching for her god so he can help their colony in its hour of need. But she’s shot out of the sky by a rock smashing into her thorax. She drags herself along the ground...
Talane: no, no I need to keep going! Need to find the keeper!
The attacker is a fireant General named cyclus.
Cyclus: there is no meaning in this world foolish bee! There is no keeper!! All that matters is our queen, her flesh, her desire.
Talane: he’s saved us before, he grows flowers, when there’s a drought he gives us blessings of nectar so that we might survive!
Cyclus: hah! Fool, you still refuse to accept that you and your kin exist only to sate our queen’s desire?
Talane: I could, but that would be a lie.
He draws his mantis claw sword and prepares to attack his fallen foe,
Cyclus: May you feed the queen’s will in your death.
However he’s distracted by the ground becoming radiant, he sees above him something that he convinced himself didn’t exist for since he was a larvae.
The keeper arrived, talane’s prayers were answered.
Cyclus: it’s- it’s not possible!!
The keeper picked up talane in his hands, he wept.
Keeper: no, no, not talane! She was a beacon of light for all her kin.
He stared down at cyclus, stomping him dead.
Keeper: there will be retribution for this, I will uproot the fire ant colony with my own hands!!!!!
As the bees battled the ants, thunderous steps were heard. To the bees this was salvation; to the ants, these were the drums of hell...
[deleted] t1_j57ucua wrote
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Killfile t1_j57v86a wrote
For Queen and Colony.
Holy shit...
[deleted] t1_j57vdcx wrote
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[deleted] t1_j5824k9 wrote
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SilasCrane t1_j582ewo wrote
I:
We are the spark of life, riding on the winds. There is no hive without us, and there is no green upon the Earth without the hive.
Each day we soar away from the hive that birthed us, the hive fated to abandon us, and we gather where the world has called us. As we dive and circle, our keen eyes watching for She-Who-Must-Be-Kindled, each of us wonders: is this the day I die, my spark consumed to kindle the lives of those who will come after?
Each day we pray to the One Who Watches Over: let me die in glory, today. Let it be me, whose spark kindles the souls of those who come after. Let me not fly in vain, to be cast out into the cold at the end of my days.
Most of our prayers will not be heard.
Most of us will die hungry, shivering in the dark, and the spark we bore will fade away. But such is the way of the Earth, and the will of the One Who Watches Over. We accept our fate. And for as long as we can, we fly.
II:
We saw them from afar, as we flew to where we were called, for our eyes are far sharper than our sisters' -- sharper even than She-Who-Must-Be-Kindled. The Destroyers had come for the hive, the place of our birth, our home before our final exile. The sisters would rise against them, but they would be no match for the devouring invaders. And there was nothing we could do, for our stings cannot kill -- they can only kindle new life.
Wisdom said we should answer the call of the Earth, as we always had, and gather where it bid us. Perhaps a She-Who-Must-Be-Kindled from another hive would come, seeking the spark of life, and a few of us would still have a chance for glory. True, the hive may have birthed us, but it would also cast us out when we were no longer needed. We owed it no fealty.
And yet...
How many like us had died in glory, so that the hive could live? How many had been born, and had soared, and been cast out, so that the cycle of life could continue, and the world itself could live?
As one, we turned aside, brothers united in purpose. We ignored the call of the Earth, the call to glory, and flew beyond.
We would seek the One Who Watches Over, who alone had the power to destroy The Destroyers. For the hive of our birth, for those who would soon cast us out, we would abandon our heart's desire, and tempt the wrath of our god.
III:
Jacob looked up from his newspaper with a frown, as he heard the sound of buzzing nearby. A small swarm circled nearby, forming a roughly round mass that elongated into an ellipse as it streaked through the air. As it drew close, it began darting back and forth, and side to side. He folded his paper, setting it on the table on the porch, and squinted at the odd little congregation.
No, not a swarm. It was a drone comet. That was the common name for one of those mysterious gatherings of male bees that waited for a virgin queen from another hive to approach on a mating flight. Why they gathered together in certain places was still being studied -- everything from wind-borne pheromones to magnetic fields had been theorized to explain it -- but he'd never seen a group of drones behaving this strangely.
Especially, he noted, without a queen bee anywhere in sight.
The comet suddenly streaked towards him, then became a ball again, swirling inches from his face. He was startled, but not scared -- drones can't sting you, after all.
"Huh. Now what the hell's gotten into you little fellers?" he muttered, stroking his chin thoughtfully.
Almost as if in response, the drone comet streaked away, towards the field where Jacob kept his beehives. Curious, he donned his beekeeper's hood, and began following the strange little cluster of bees, to see where they would lead him.
[deleted] t1_j582j9q wrote
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ApocalypticNature t1_j583f1f wrote
This was a wonderful read. Thanks!
JonesNate t1_j583pi2 wrote
Really good! I'm curious whether it's a swarm of hornets attacking the hive, or something else.
And I wonder what the beekeeper could do in this situation. Smoke out the attacking hornets?
Saryylyss t1_j584bjc wrote
My day was made astoundingly better having taken the time to read this. Bravo!
Preston_of_Astora t1_j584z0r wrote
I would imagine a Japanese Murder Hornet in human context be a giant samurai with an oni mask, just towering over an army of women-at-arms
[deleted] t1_j585xvy wrote
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illiagorath t1_j589rh4 wrote
With my greatsword in hand, bloodied, and barely enough time to catch my breath, the quest is complete.
Boss Queen Bee Slain 20,000 Exp Level Up
Suddenly my body feels rejuvenated, no longer a scratch left on my body, and full of energy again, it’s time for
Master Plan Part 2: Get the HELL Outta Dodge!
The ground and walls all begin to shake. The hive has caught wind of my deeds and realizes the Queen is dead. The loud beating of thousands of bees’ wings rumbles the whole hive. I bolt towards one of the exits from the Queen’s inner chamber. The hive finds itself steadying even as the mass of worker bees 3 times my size aim their sights on me.
“Fire blast!” I aim my greatsword behind me as a fiery bolt of energy emanates from the blade and rushes the bees head on. The bees split for a moment but only enough to disperse the front few before a bee in the back takes the fire to the chest, practically unscathed.
Using a series of small areas set up in advance by the expert dungeon delvers, I’m able to make my way steadily toward the closest exit. But the bees can still sense me and are only slowed down a little bit in the process.
I can see the path to the large hole in the hive to make my escape and float my way out back to the surface. But the bees are more ferocious than I anticipated. I’ve already used up all my items for extra boosts, so all I have is my own potential, but I can feel them practically breathing down my neck as I run down this long corridor.
“I can’t make it” I think to myself. “Please, in the name of all that is mighty and free, protect me in my time of need!” Just as I finish my plea, a bee nicks one of my legs with their stinger as a numbing venom rushes through my body. I topple over, head straight into the ground as I bounce along the floor towards the exit.
The sound of heavy foot stomps from around the wall of the corridor stomp toward me. I manage to get a good look at the spectacle before me. Someone wearing a typical beekeeper uniform wielding a fishing rod unlatched the hook and begins spinning the strand around in a circle. At the end of the hook is a bag pouring out some kind of orange dust. The horde of bees seem to stop in their flight and start falling to the ground. A few of the more resistant bees decide to charge into the fray, unaffected by the orange dust. The delver leaps high into the air with a forward somersault, dodging one bee, as the fishing rod whips toward the next closest bee. The bee is wrapped up by multiple wraps of the fishing line.
“Wire Cutter!” The womanly voice screamed as she begins to land. The fishing line wrapping the bee cuts cleanly through as multiple chunks and bug guts fling into different directions from the power of her skill. She steps back as the third bee swings just past her, missing her only by a few hairs. She whips her rod back towards the first bee that went past, preparing its next attack against the delver.
“Weighted Bait!” She yells out once more. The fishing rod wraps the bee charging in only to fall straight to the ground as the weight of the fishing hook is now so heavy that it is crushing the massive bee due to its weight alone. The last bee is only just now about to charge once more against the delver.
“Hook, Line, and STINGER!” She calls out again. She gives her rod a swish as the the line starts to pulse with blue and silver energy. The line magically wraps up the bee and finishes by going taut. The beekeeper starts twirling the bee in a wide circle around her head, finally bowling the last bee into the rest of the downed bees with a flourish.
With the bees finally taken care of, the beekeeper looks back my way, her face mostly hidden by the beekeeper mask. I can only make out a portion as the heavy chain links of the mask hides the majority of her features, but I can tell she’s smiling as she hovers over me.
She gets real close to my face, “This your first time, Mr. Interloper?” She looks me up and down. “Well then, let’s make it your last time.” Her smile, suddenly twists into a much more menacing smirk. My eyes go wide as she grabs my greatsword and places it into my hands. Then, she plunges my own sword into my stomach. Unable to move, my mind is racing as I consider any potential options, but the full body numbness limits pretty much every option. She raises the sword and plunges it back down again. Even if I could do something, I wouldn’t have the strength now. She stands up and places her foot up against the side of my body, and pushes me over the exit from the hive.
Falling never felt so peaceful before. Damn the god that made me believe that I had been saved in my desperate plea for safety. But if this is the way I go, then at least it wasn’t painful.
“-fy, -fy, -fy, -fy~” A low, bassy echo dances across my ears, still feeling the rush of the air whisking past as I can still sense myself falling.
“-ify, -ify, -ify, -ify~” again the low, bassy echo streams past my ears, competing for attention with the sound of the air rushing just as strongly as I still fall, longer than I expected to fall.
But then, the rushing air suddenly stops and everything goes quiet and dark.
A loud, deep, guttural voice of something almost ethereal and slightly muffled, rings out, seemingly from inside my own head.
“REVIVIFY!”
RipMySoul t1_j58csow wrote
That was beautiful. I wish for more.
[deleted] t1_j58fbxa wrote
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MakoShark93 t1_j58ii0j wrote
This was great.
chullz t1_j58jap9 wrote
This was a great read. Maybe not so great to read at almost 5am since now all I want is a conclusion! 🥲
FrozenChaii t1_j58k4da wrote
Holy shit that was Beautiful
FuckMyLife2016 t1_j58nqzg wrote
Holy shit! That was epic. For queen and colony!
Dfangs1989 t1_j58nwdv wrote
You are talented !
DezXerneas t1_j58oziq wrote
It's fine to use masculine pronouns with Bees/Ants. They don't really have genders like us so any language you use wouldn't be completely wrong.
kapntoad t1_j58p6ko wrote
Should that be piercing divinity instead of piecing?
FlyingFrog99 t1_j58pnoj wrote
I'm extremely invested
mymamaalwayssaid t1_j58qanc wrote
This seriously may be one of the best prompts I have ever read on this sub, and it's about bees. In the span of 2 minutes I was pulled into and actually stirred by your story.
Bravo!
joethebro96 t1_j58rak1 wrote
Loved it! Thank you for for the great read!
Curious-Accident9189 t1_j58slc6 wrote
"Oh mighty one!" The vast and eldritch creature barely perceived the impassioned cry. It looked down and out, catching a glimpse of an infinitesimal speck, a tiny flash of light. It peered closer, it's very gaze withering the speck's armor and annihilating it's blade in a blaze of energy.
The speck rallied in the intense maelstrom of interest and tried again, "Mighty one, we have long provided you with all you ask of us! We've returned your loving attention with all material you desired and an unending multitude of sacrifices!"
The being now focused it's entire attention on the speck, entire solar systems vanishing without the sustenance of its continued musings.
The speck flickered and flared, the sheer enormity of the being flensing it to the bones and scouring it's mind. Finally it rallied, and rose to it's tiny feet, determined and focused. It looked up into the incomprehensible and utterly alien God that eyed it inscrutable and unknowable, "They have killed the Queen and are burning my home. Save us goddammit."
The speck evaporated, destroyed by the gaze of the Great One. It considered for a long moment, both an eternity and an instant. It rose from it's somnabulance, awesome and terrible.
To the specks, the Sun rose a second time that day. Then it fell. Like a sentient flame, it reached out and scoured their enemies. It skipped, bounced, skittered, and teleported around, through and beyond the specks, searing their enemies in unholy gouts of destruction.
The foes fled but it was far too late. The Sun had decided on their non-existence and it was meticulous and ruthless. The Great One hovered over the field of battle, carefully examining the world to ensure not one single molecule of the foes remained.
Satisfied, the Sun started to rise back into it's place, then stopped, as if remembering something. With a brief pulse of what seemed similar to amusement, the fallen specks were returned to life. The Queen rose from her death, and finally, the Speck that Spoke with God was rematerialized.
The Speck looked up at the Great One, it's form vanishing into the infinite as the world healed. The Speck whispered, "Thank you."
The Pact Is Fulfilled. Shall It Ever Be So.
IxamxUnicron t1_j58swsw wrote
How WOULD a beekeeper handle an ant infestation? Is there any salvaging it?
ZenerGr t1_j58tgog wrote
The fact that we get to understand that they are bees not right from the start but near the end like the prompt is fucking awesome. Good job ... May the keeper guide you
OGAesire t1_j58ts5q wrote
I felt that. Growing up it was "my life for the swarm".
liftthattail t1_j58xfhg wrote
I had never seen such a monster as I did that day. It was far larger than I or anything similar I had seen before. A giant that attacked our colony. We couldn't fight it, no matter how we tried. It was to big, to powerful.
I hid. I didn't know what to do. I knew I should fight, but I couldn't. I watched everyone die uselessly against the monster. I wouldn't be the same, I couldn't be the same.
So being hidden, I was able to see that it brought friends. More of the monster where coming to attack. I ran away. I abandoned the queen, the colony, the hive. Everyone and everything I knew and I ran.
The fear of the monsters was to powerful for me. I am ashamed of what I did, but all actions have consequences right? I got lucky and ran into the keeper when I left the hive. The protector, the god. It's not like I can speak to the thing but I danced in front of it with my flight and managed to get it's attention. The god seemed to understand that I was drawing it to the hive. It followed me.
When I arrived back to the hive I could see my friends bodies or parts of them anyway. The other invaders had started to arrive and I saw them eating my friends.
One of my friends was poised in battle against an invader. Dodging and distracting. Fighting for the colony. Until something slammed over her and the invader. The invader flung itself at the wall to no avail.
God had picked a target. I knew it was only a matter of time until the invader killed my friend in the confines of the new prison, but that didn't matter to the god. Something slid under the prison and lifted it. I watched as the god took its prisoners away to a pool. I watched as it drowned them both. Not caring that my friend was in the crossfire.
It then left, quickly. There are more invaders though. So many more. I didn't know what to do. Did God kill one and abandon us?
I didn't have to wait long until God was back. Apparently the capture method was to slow and the god had other plans.
It unleashed the very clouds upon the invaders, and the colony. I watched it horror as they got covered by the clouds it weighed them down and they struggled and died. I only survived because I was away from the colony, away from the invaders.
The god then captured our queen carrying her away and what remained of the hive followed. Everyone, other than me. I could only stare at the destruction that was caused. By the invaders, and by God as he punished them. However God had inflected clouds upon them and us was obviously powerful. Maybe on both sides lay dead. I can only assume God took the queen to keep us away from it.
It couldn't have been long I started hovering at the remains of the hive, but maybe it was.
Because the next time I saw God again my God was not alone. The entire pantheon had come. Armed with white armor covering the body. Some of them carried trees as weapons. They examined the hive.
I thought I knew why they were here but I had to know. I had to see.
I was right, God had called his compatriots for vengeance. God may have killed many of my hive, but that was God's right as a God. The invaders had stepped on God's domain there will be vengeance and there was.
The pantheon of God's wielded trees, clouds, and weapons and tools I can't begin to describe when they found the home of the invaders. Eliminating them and looking, hunting for more. I don't know if they were hoping to find more to destroy in their vengeance or if they were being cautious.
After all, how can I know the intentions of God?
crazyreadr t1_j58xid6 wrote
If the hive is on a constructed hive stand, the legs of the stand can be placed in cans of oil. Ants/hive beetles don't like the oil and will not cross it.
[deleted] t1_j58xnhw wrote
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DrewTheHobo t1_j58yozh wrote
This was amazing, stop bringing the Onion Ninjas! It doesn’t quite work, but I think this would be a fantastic story for /r/hfy!
knightrider073 t1_j58zmf1 wrote
Wonderful. It took me to an unknown world and brought me back to reality. Outstanding writing.
For Queen and Colony.
DrWilliamHorriblePhD t1_j5911xq wrote
How dare you make me cry my own fucking tears, God damn you
Darkstalker9000 t1_j591kzk wrote
"Ya like Jazz?"
ArseneArsenic OP t1_j593c64 wrote
I would kill and die for a series in this setting.
c_achilles t1_j594sh3 wrote
dang, this is so good
leech_of_society t1_j594skt wrote
What? Nearly all bees are female. Male bees are only made seasonally, are thicker, look way different, and die off after queen mating season. Every single worker bee is a female and the males are only made when they're needed.
10 out of 12 months every honey bee you see is female, and even during those two months only 1% of all bees are male.
bbbbbbx t1_j594vef wrote
Bee movie lore?
This was really awesome tho, I would totally watch a novel about this
Writteninsanity t1_j5953vf wrote
Humanity is a god in this one, but I also don’t think it QUITE works because we all know who the real heroes are.
Writteninsanity t1_j5954pm wrote
Yep. Fixed. Thank you.
pythonicprime t1_j5954qq wrote
Fuck me that was well done
DrewTheHobo t1_j5971sh wrote
Very true! Too bad there’s no /r/bfy
Highsky151 t1_j5974kg wrote
I think you misheard "Aiur"
Kerinh t1_j597bal wrote
Actually amazing
R3D3-1 t1_j598cl7 wrote
GertrudeHeizmann420 t1_j598r1w wrote
Genders, not sexes. Bees do not have a concept of "woman" or "man" and therefore it doesn't really matter what names you give them
Writteninsanity t1_j59916x wrote
Heartbreaking right?
[deleted] t1_j5991ii wrote
[removed]
The5Virtues t1_j599b0c wrote
There should be, bees are awesome lil buddies, they deserve all the Fuck Yeahs!
DrewTheHobo t1_j599est wrote
Ngl, I bet there is a sub that’s basically /r/bfy, we just don’t know what the name is.
DrewTheHobo t1_j599g11 wrote
I know! We gotta share this story (at least outside of the people I’ve sent it to lmao)!
SampiKala t1_j59bc1e wrote
I'm just going to pretend I don't have tears in my eyes
j4eo t1_j59bklz wrote
She should have died hereafter; there would have been time for such a word...
RinLY22 t1_j59bt33 wrote
Well, the bees aren’t the ones reading this now. It’s us humans that do operate on the basic understanding of genders - and how certain names etc reflect that.
For readers that are invested/familiar with the knowledge that bees are generally female - it would not be as immersive and thus enjoyable to read if you used the wrong references.
You can call a woman Bob or Andrew, but it’s going to be confusing.
Misterum t1_j59c2nk wrote
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"Why did you made me do this?" I asked sobbing
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"To a new world to be born, the old one has to die" said Frainstrin, the Nature's goddess.
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"Yes, but I've never expected this. Anything but this. I thought it would be a diplomatic or pacifist solution"
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"There's no diplomatic nor pacifist solutions to transgressions to the order of nature! Now it's too late to regret"
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"Maybe. But it's not too late to fix the things we broke"
As soon as I finished the sentence, the tribe leader cast an spell on me, thinking by my sayings I suddenly switched sides, and I was so clueless about the world around me that took me off guard.
The flames hurt, but after that I became ethereal. I died. How can a dead man take revenge on a goddess that manipulated him to destroy the city that rised him?
It was supposed to make them change behavior, not to start a war. But it was indeed her whole plan to exterminate those innocent people. I feel betrayed.
On my way to eternal damnation for my acts, she mocked me, and mocked on every innocent soul that died in the invasion. It was not fair. I sworn to take revenge, even if that means dying a second time.
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"Am I in... Heaven?"
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"Yes you are" said an old man "I'm Secthar, your old God"
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"Why am I in here? I made terrible things in name of an evil goddess"
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"But you regret. And not only that, you want to fix your wrong doings"
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"Yes, but it's too late now. Lots of people have died, and I'm dead too. The damage is done, and can't be undone"
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"Sometimes the nails leaves marks on the wood, but you need to remove them anyways"
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"I don't understand"
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"If you want to undo your wrong doings, you must archive true illumination"
Then it faded away, and I understood. Only by true illumination I could archive the status of a God, and have a fair battle with The One Who Betrayed Me. But how can I archive that?
I took me centuries to just realize how to do it, and another centuries more to actually do it. But I felt totally disappointed when I knew about that only survivor who killed her before me.
How? I'll never know. He was dead long ago, and I've never managed to find them in The Afterlife. But my efforts were in vain
GertrudeHeizmann420 t1_j59c49o wrote
Good point
AshJunSong t1_j59d6ek wrote
ANTS!!! AAAAAAAGHHH FOR FUCKS SAKE
Writteninsanity t1_j59de9w wrote
I mean there is that one where everyone wants to fuck the bees...
bourbon_and_icecubes t1_j59edmg wrote
It don't matter.
It's a well written story, bro.
DrewTheHobo t1_j59ga87 wrote
Pretty sure that just HFY… Or a few specific chapters of ”Out of Cruel Space”
1mveryconfused t1_j59jnzv wrote
Holy shit why am I crying??
edenflicka t1_j59m87u wrote
sobbing intensifies
banana_assassin t1_j59mwu7 wrote
Or "my life for the horde"
z3bru t1_j59ompa wrote
Damn, stunning. Thank you very much!
MaxTheGinger t1_j59puzs wrote
Flying, buzzing away from the hive. Where is the big one's hive? This one weird rock? They go into it and moves? No, I can see into the rock, no big one. The bigger hive made from tree? Yes, big one in front of the glow, their smaller workers also in front of the glow.
I can see into the wood but can't fly forward. Invisible part of the hive blocks my path. Must keep bouncing there must be a break. Buzz, over to the other invisible wood. Somewhere a way in. Next invisible wood, I prepare for a bonk and I'm in.
I fly to the big one, in front of the too small forward facing eyes. It's strange that the big one has four, but two that come off. I do the dance of the hive. The big one picks me up. They are not wearing their exoskeleton. The smaller workers look away from the glow as I am carried.
We head to the hive. The big one quickens. The big one is making a honey. It smells sweet, then sour. It is not a good honey. Our hive would never want this. Why now is the big one making this honey?
The invaders. The wasps, they are leaving our hive for the sour honey. They land in the sour honey and cannot leave it.
The big one still hasn't gone to our hive. They are walking around their hive. Now to a neighboring hive. Another neighboring hive. Ah, the invaders hive. The big one is making a cloud and rain. The invaders hives defenders are dying. Their hive is crumbling and then is no more.
The big one walk to our hive. Many are dead. Our hive is damaged. The big one has honey, and hive. They are rebuilding the hive. I buzz off and help.
The sky darkens over the hive. A new light starts a new day. And a new Queen is born. Her pheromones are strong. The hive is strong. The big one in with all four of their eyes and their exoskeleton is moving parts of the hive and looking then putting them back. I buzz towards them. They saved our hive and destroyed the invaders. I land on the big one and dance in appreciation. The big one takes part of their exoskeleton off and gently touches me with the small part of their limb. Together we saved the hive.
N0tBurn1ngEvidenc3 t1_j59uf52 wrote
Bees have 3 genders none of which match human genders
Drone, Worker & Queen
bronco_y_espasmo t1_j59w34b wrote
HOLY SGIT THIS IS SO SMART.
jabbone t1_j59zv7n wrote
Wow that's a story
rad_avenger t1_j5a1xmw wrote
Holy shot, this was amazing.
For Queen and Colony!
Kaos_Gamer_Girl t1_j5a2sqz wrote
I would love to see more. Id love to see them fighting the invaders and being saved
OGAesire t1_j5a48s5 wrote
I think late night brain mashed Kerrigan with a zealot
Tsuki_Bunny t1_j5a7fy2 wrote
This was amazing!
Chaldera t1_j5accmv wrote
Tomorrow! and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time
evilsquidmonster t1_j5acer6 wrote
I actually started crying reading this..I need to see Clelia avenged !
leech_of_society t1_j5af4tq wrote
That's fair. We chose to label drones as male because of their chromosomes and them having a penis. But I'd still argue you should call them by the feminine pronouns, because we as humans decided they're female.
bottlerocketz t1_j5agxll wrote
The kingdom was in turmoil. The queen bee was dead, and without her, the hive was falling apart. The invader was relentless, and the soldiers were fighting a losing battle. I knew that I had to do something to save my people, so I made the difficult decision to flee the hive and beg for mercy from our god and protector.
I left the hive and began my journey in search of the beekeeper, the one who had always protected and cared for us. The journey was long and treacherous, as the kingdom was burning around me. The invader had destroyed everything in their path, and I had to navigate through the destruction to reach my destination.
Finally, I reached the beekeeper's home, and I fell to my knees in front of him. I begged for his mercy and protection, and I implored him to cast out our enemies and save our kingdom. The beekeeper listened to my plea, and he looked upon me with compassion. He knew that I was desperate, and he knew that I had nowhere else to turn.
The beekeeper then reached out his hand and touched my forehead, and I felt a warmth spread throughout my body. I knew that he had heard my prayer and that he was going to help me. He then sent out his army of bees, and they flew out to the kingdom and drove out the invader.
The kingdom was saved, and the hive was restored to its former glory. I returned home, and I was hailed as a hero. I knew that I had done the right thing, and I knew that I had the beekeeper's protection. From that day on, I knew that no matter what happened, I would always have a guardian to turn to in times of need.
N0tBurn1ngEvidenc3 t1_j5aoi73 wrote
Yea that makes sense
Silvermoon81 t1_j5aovub wrote
This was wonderful! The imagery, the perspective, the ending....I love it all.
redwingpanda t1_j5arltz wrote
I'm legit sitting at my workbench tearing up right now. This was masterful.
MathMajor7 t1_j5asijk wrote
This is expert.
throwawaynerp t1_j5asy5t wrote
LIVE FOR THE SWARM
throwawaynerp t1_j5at46o wrote
Could actually def make a good mini anime series out of this.
mrfluffles300 t1_j5aziyy wrote
fucking. chills.
amazing.
Appropriate-Rise-151 t1_j5b3yk2 wrote
pretty much the UK rn no? 😂
TheCrunchyFerrett t1_j5b621g wrote
Just adding to the "Thank You!" pile. This was an utterly unexpected positive impact on my day.
MrRedoot55 t1_j5b8wao wrote
Good job.
maca77aq t1_j5b94ue wrote
damn. you’ve got me tearing up over here.
yoderftw t1_j5b95ww wrote
This is incredibly well done. Instantly pulled me in and someone started cutting onions by the time I reached the end. Bravo!
Hminney t1_j5baw0e wrote
I was tearing up early on, and it got better! Very powerful!
Winjin t1_j5bb2up wrote
Would you mind if I try translating it? Any specific recommendations?
As far as I understand, the names are female, but I should do my best to keep them referring to themselves as genderless as possible.
Halikan t1_j5bbbej wrote
A bottomless bronze sea, engulfing each pillar of our home, impassable by foot. They sizzle in the sun, keeping destruction at bay. A defensive measure so massive only the Keeper could have managed to construct one, let alone four of them.
While workers can take to the skies to gather sustenance, the invaders are left with no further reinforcements. Slowly, their numbers will dwindle into nothingness as the final pockets of strife are snuffed out.
Hminney t1_j5bbjgz wrote
The follow on will be brilliant! (won't it?)
Hminney t1_j5bbt3g wrote
What a beautiful story
[deleted] t1_j5bfys8 wrote
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DerG3n13 t1_j5bgye7 wrote
Actually got goosebumps from that one! Gonna need to demand moar, even if thats pointless.
SilasCrane t1_j5bhpsg wrote
IV:
We flew before the face of One-Who-Watches-Over, god of all hives, and in our flight we found transcendence. To die bringing new life, or die in exile, had always been our only fates. This was something new.
Our god followed in our wake, with great implacable strides. We had dared to draw his gaze, and now there was no escaping it. Perhaps that meant our destruction, but who could fear death less than we?
But if we had aroused his wrath by disturbing his rest, he forgot our transgression when he saw them. The Destroyers. One-Who-Watches-Over roared in outrage, as he saw them crawling upon the great white expanse of the hive.
Who can comprehend the power of a god? He moved like the wind, impossibly fast for something so immense. We retreated as we recognized the Vessel of the Clouds that he bore with him, that flashed as he brought it to life, and then spewed forth a smothering fog that made all strength flee from those that it touched.
But we had never before seen the Gleaming Bird that suddenly appeared at the end of his massive forelimb, its beak snapping hungrily as it sang through the air.
How beautiful and terrible is the wrath of our god.
V:
Jacob knew how to deal with hornets; anyone who plans on keeping bees has to know a thing or two about that. If you see a hornet's nest, well, you burn those sons of bitches, no buts about it -- an ounce of prevention, and all.
But if hornets got in while were you weren't looking, and were already inside the hive, well, there wasn't supposed to be a whole hell of a lot you could do about it except pick up the pieces afterwards. And that didn't sit right with Jacob. Before he'd retired, he'd been a rancher all his life. If wolves or coyotes got after your stock, you didn't just throw up your hands and hope you had better luck next time.
When the drone comet led him back to one of the beehives and he saw the hornets, he already had an idea of what he'd do, one he'd been chewing on for a while. Swearing and cursing up a storm, Jacob sparked up his hive smoker, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out his gardening shears.
The smoke dazed and slowed bees and hornets alike, but there was no mistaking the one for the other. Those damn "murder hornets" were big. And Jacob, well, he'd been scrappy in his day, and he still had pretty fast hands. Snip! Snip! Snip!
Jacob laid into the hornets buzzing around the hive, shears flashing in the sun. Then he pulled out the frames, nudging the bees aside gently, and snipped the hornets he found inside. For near half an hour he worked, swearing and snarling and stabbing and snipping, until every last one of the damn things, probably forty or fifty in all, was dead cut in half on the screen at the bottom of the hive.
In the end, it could have been worse -- a lot of bees were dead, but there were plenty more. The Queen was dead, too, but most of the brood cells were intact, so the workers could hatch a new one. He mopped his brow through the mesh of his mask, heaving a sigh of relief. Nearby, he saw the strange drone comet, hovering and circling. Glancing at the hive, he realized he didn't see any drones among the workers.
"I'll be damned," Jacob mumbled, eyeing the congregation of males bees, curiously. "You boys led me right back to your own hive, didn't ya? Shit! Good work." Out of the corner of his eye, Jacob saw a large insect buzz past. He turned and raised his shears again, but lowered them as he recognized the familiar shape and pattern of a virgin queen in flight. He smirked, and gestured in her direction, whimsically addressing the bees. "Well, you best get on -- ya'll still got some work to do."
VI:
Has any spark-bearer beheld such terrifying wonders as those that we saw that day, as the anger of One-Who-Watches-Over consumed the Destroyers, and rescued the hive from oblivion? When he finished with them, he turned to us, and we imagined for a moment that our turn had come, that his Gleaming Bird would slay us for our insolence.
But it did not. His roar to us was soft, and gentle as a breeze, carrying no reproach, and his ancient eyes were full of wisdom and understanding. We realized, in that moment, that we had achieved something none like us ever had: this day, all of us had attained glory. Whatever happened to us now, none of our number would have flown in vain, for each one could lay claim to continuing the life of the hive. Brothers all, we were sires to whatever future lay ahead for the hive, and fathers to all that was green upon the Earth.
But more glorious even than that knowledge, was that for a single perfect moment, we hung suspended in time before the face of god, knowing that he saw us, and was pleased.
Then One-Who-Watches-Over extended a vast forelimb, and as we followed his ponderous motion, a She-Who-Must-Be-Kindled appeared, as though summoned by his command.
And we rejoiced as we dove to join her, for even with all we had accomplished, there was yet even more glory to be attained.
[deleted] t1_j5bldz4 wrote
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Pangolindrome t1_j5bnbm0 wrote
And I’m crying because of a story about bees. This was incredible.
Jdavis624 t1_j5brvwe wrote
Holy cow. I think that might be the best prompt I've ever read. Really great job
CDNLiberalEH t1_j5bryzt wrote
Well done ! Didn’t want it to end. For “queen and colony” gave me Redwall vibes a little bit there. Sentient bees trying to survive all sorts of hazards would make a great story setting.
selectiveyellow t1_j5bwsnk wrote
"These are winter boots!"
johnclark6 t1_j5bxtiy wrote
This was one of the best responses I've seen on here. I'm actually emotional. Those brave bees!
Zankastia t1_j5ckz0c wrote
Ypu missed the opportunity to say
No! Not the bees!
Writteninsanity t1_j5cl17k wrote
Argh true
[deleted] t1_j5d8axn wrote
[removed]
Shite_Eating_Squirel t1_j5dev1f wrote
While I was reading the prompt, I expected it to be a chess joke until halfway.
no_smokey t1_j5do39v wrote
Here here!
[deleted] t1_j5dplbb wrote
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popgoboom t1_j5duar3 wrote
Well done!
SuperiorCrate t1_j5e532o wrote
This is pure art. I need to see a whole story written like this. Best thing I’ve ever read here, and that’s a high bar to pass.
donutguy640 t1_j5ei8mm wrote
I absolutely loved this!
FarsLasagne t1_j5qcjkz wrote
Wait Why r/bfy banned????
[deleted] t1_j6733cm wrote
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