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What. Did. I. Say. What did I say! That's not a friggin question, Mark, so put you idiot hand down. And don't you dare stop me, Amy. I earned this monologue. It's the last joy I get in this life. No, we aren't going to make it through this. Friendship can't fight friggin demons. Neither can you mall katana. Nor your redneck improvised shotgun. I will slap you, Mark. I with slap you so hard if that hand goes up one more time. This is not audience participation time. If I want to sing the frigging pokerap in ancient sumerian, you will sit quietly while I work out the translation, and be ready to clap when I finish. Now, let's go back to the begin, and see if you all can sit through my recap and keep track of how many types listening to me would have prevented all this. Mark found a friggin necronomicon type book on a reject Wish clone, and I said, "Don't waste your money." There's one. But no, he had to buy it. Then it came, and I said, "Don't bother me with this crap." Okay, we'd probably still be in this mess, but I at least would have enjoyed that Saturday, so I'm still going to—

SLAP

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE HAND! Anyway, that's two. Then Mark couldn't read it, so I said, "Don't bother, it's just a stupid prop." So we have three. But he called Brian for help. Only Brian's car was in the shop. "That's a sign," I said for four. But then Amy volunteered to drive us to Brian's place. "Only reason for that is to enjoy watching thing on his projector." Five. No, don't you start, I said I get to monologue. Then Brian took the book and I said, "Don't encourage Mark in his idiocy." What is that, six or seven? THAT WAS TEST!

slap

Well, the door is breaking so let's speed things up. "Don't read anything that says it can summon demons." "Do hurt an innocent animal for this." "Don't set that on fire." and "Don't touch my lunch." brings us up to ten. "Don't go out there alone, Brian." That would have kept him alive to hear my rant. "Mr. Henderson has a shotgun." Might be good against demons, but now we'll never know. I'll count it as just half, but combined with, "Don't make out with her just because the world is ending." will make it an even twelve. Oh, there goes Amy's spine. Surprised she had one.

Mark, if your hand is raised, I swear.

Fucking, Mark!

What a knobgobbler!

I told them. I told them that winter would bring the Dead, but did they listen? No. They relied too much on magic and conmen to listen to a farmer whose family lived through this shit before.

When my grandda was seven, I told them, the Dead walked. The blizzard of 358 decimated the land, killed a lot of livestock, and killed everyone who was caught out of the bonfire circle. And then, those what died came back to slaughter their old friends, whose bodies rose and killed yet more people!

'Loony old man,' they called me. 'Lost his mind years ago and doesn't know what he's talking about.'

When the Dead walked again, last night on the Winter Solstice, I was home safe in my circle of fire, with my daughter and her baby. We kept the fires burning all night, and when dawn came, we watched the Dead die again.

You should have listened to me. A few did, and they emerged from the flames with us, seeing the world changed this night. But the rest of you?

An entire town, rotting and bloating in the cool winter sun. We can't bury all of you, and to be frank, I don't want to bury any of you.

We still have the fires burning, just in case. If the Dead stay down again tonight, we'll burn your bodies tomorrow.

It's the funeral you fools deserve.

Humans are foolish and ignorant of the dangers of the world. They think they are invincible. They take life for granted. They take and hurt and expect kindness in return.

I believed in humans. I did. When the coven head came home with a malnourished, terrified, dirty, and hurt human boy, couldn't be more than eight, I knew the small town would face the wrath of my coven. I was furious too, humans are so cruel, they leave their own fledlings to die... Yet I still went and warned them.

They laughed, called me a freak, child of the night, a monster.

They thought I was joking. Ungratefull little ants, destined to suffer the wrath of my coven. They begged to me, when my people came seeking death, amusement, a meal. They promised me the stars, they cried and whined and screamed.

After the sun came up, the last of the coven retreated to tend to their duties. The coven head and his family gained a new fledling. There was a lot to do.

They called me, but I wanted to look for survivors.

This is what the ignorance of these fools led to. This is their karma, the Goddess' punishment for those who had hurt their own. Their blood painted the ground. It was a messy feast. My stomach was full too, I got a couple of men who tried to flee. They tried to sacrifice the weak, the children.

A lot of new fledlings had to be taken care of, now that I think about it.

Now that the root of the infection was killed, new flowers could bloom, healty, and beautiful. And it was my duty to rid the world of the dead weed, so it can never blossom again. The flames of my fury and spite slowly died down as I sent my children, souls who couldn't find peace, to look for new siblings, children souls, lost in the massacre of the feast.

Humans are foolish and ignorant.

Vampires are not.

"I tried to tell you I tried and tried and triiiieeedd to warn you.I begged and pleded but nnooOOoo I was crazy I was a fool. There was no way that that such things could happen that the cheese wheel was perfect safe. Now half the town is crushed and the other half is flooded a story high with fondue and you all want my help dealing with I'm but you know what solve your own problem I'm going to take my raft made out of baguettes that YuuUOoo mocked me for and I'm sailing to Paintsville. I'm making beer cheese."

Whispered "I sure hope they listened to my warning about beer geysers from their underground storage"

I laughed at multiple points here, haha. This would be fun to act.

The long sandy road Max had taken all these years now stood alone, the town it belonged to now charred and blackened. While walking past the stone arch painted in soot, he gazed mindlessly at the town that used to be. All he could think of was smoke. The smell made him light-headed while the heat singed his eyes.

"If only you had listened to me, we would have lived. We could have rejoiced in a new town with endless feasts and dances. We could have drunk till the reaper came to us, we could have all lived but you...you all!" Max threw up his arms and yelled in exasperation.

"You all thought I was mad! You all said I had a sip too much! You all scolded me for spreading lies! I might've been a fool drunk, but I am not a fool sober! I warned you all, I saw the demon emerge from the forbidden cave, I saw it spawn hellfire and flame and poison from its mouth.

"I saw the deer and rabbits and sparrows run without a look back. I saw the trees try to escape their roots! I know they want to live, but you fools thought you were too smart!"

"What did you all say? "Oh Max, we live near water, fire cannot hurt us!" or "Oh foolish Max, the demon in the cave is a child's story!"" In a fit of rage, Max picked up a smoldering plank and threw it aimlessly.

"The druid spoke of the guardian's emergence and called me immature. What shall the guardian do when the people don't guard themselves?! The guardian lived in those animals and birds, not in you all, you idiots!"

He looked to the large obelisk and yelled, "Chieftain, oh chieftain! I thought you were the smartest of us all, yet you sat there playing the fiddle as the village burned! I pulled your hand over and over to show you and you refused to move!"

Max's voice began to choke. Clutching his hair, he whimpered, "We could all have lived....". he turned to a pile of ash by his side and cried," I wonder who you were. I wonder what life you would have lived instead of feeding the earth."

Max collapsed on the blackened ground and held his head between his legs. Unable to control himself anymore, he bawled loudly without anyone there to hear him.

You FOOLS!

​

I *warned* you what would happen if you elected those moronic [political party]s, but did you listen? NO, you bought their lies and look what happened!

​

Once [low level elected official with minimal actual power] stole power from the People, this day was inevitable. Everything has gone to shit under their totalitarian rule. Traffic is worse. The kids don't pay attention in school. The stores can't get any [item discontinued by manufacturer three years ago].

​

And now... this

​

Tom and Jane Smith were the pillars of this community, and they lie dead - dead because of the mismanagement of that *monster* you fools support. They are..

​

I don't *care* that my three minutes are up! Try to take this mike away from me, sonny, and you're going to regret it

​

The Smiths would still be alive if [candidate that received 18% of the vote in the primary] were in charge. A man of strength! A man of honor!

​

*He* could have stopped this madness! He would have seen this coming, and put a stop to it! [Tom and Jane Smith died in an auto accident. The losing candidate in question had offered no policies related to traffic, and would not have the ability to implement them even if they had]

​

I hope you're all satisfied with what you've done. May you all rot in hell for your crimes against this community

Happy cake day!

Thank you!

That is the nature of all humans, some are wise enough to listen.

Also aren't Vampires humanoid shaped? So technically vampires are also humans, just genetically different

Vampires are not humans. They were once, but they live until they are killed, and no natural harm comes to them. They see humans as food, a meal that can kill them. There are, of course, those who live amongst these mortals. It isn't rare. Vampires just tend to forget their own humanity because they were blessed by the goddess.

Then they forget who they were once before.

It's oddly ironic, they are chosen blessed ones by the goddess yet they forget their origin

It is only understandable. They are hunted by those who once called them one of theirs. Feeding is a lot easier when you see a prey instead of something we were.

Makes it a lot easier to live as a vampire like that.

I agree.

I think that old man Mr. Henderson might know a thing or two about how to deal with this, so not too bad of an idea.

Bug great rant!

This is outstanding. Wow. Blown away. Respect.

Happy Cake Day.

Well, I had to fit in something, and he was easier to slip in than Doomguy ;)

Cool.

This could have all been avoided had you just listened to me.

You had fair warning. It couldn’t have been clearer that there was something wrong.

Why delude yourselves into thinking you were safe when it was so blindly obvious that you weren’t? Were you scared of the truth? So frightened by the unimaginable and absurd that in your blind ignorance you inadvertently created that which you feared to be true all along.

Had you just listened to me, none of this would have happened. The morning air would be full of birdsong and happy sounds of children playing, not blaring sirens and the wailing cries of the wounded. A symphony of terrified screams echo down the narrow streets and hang in the air like a fog, dense and unmoving, clinging to clothes, slowing everything to a crawl. Run all you like; it will do you no good.

There is no escape from this hell you have created.

I gave you ample warning, yet you still chose to do nothing. All the signs were there from the very beginning, and you all chose to ignore them. The wild and aggressive mood swings. The forced isolation and reluctance to engage with the outside world. The drop in grades and academic performance. Hell, the countless empty pill bottles and bloodied razor blades, always neatly placed atop the rest of the rubbish, were surely a call for alarm, right? I made it damn obvious for you. Even simple little things like not eating or sleeping regularly should have garnered some sort of interest. Apparently not. Something more drastic was required.

How could you not see I was in distress, that I needed help? I don’t understand. Did you not love me? You always said you did but words are just that; words. If actions are truly what define us then your inaction to give a sick child the attention they require speaks volumes.

It's not like I didn’t ask for help either, because I did. You know I did but you’re all too self-centred and egotistical to have truly cared. Rejecting me, a living breathing human being, for your dumb careers or even dumber likes and follows on your performative social media lives. Too busy to pay attention to your child, your neighbour, your friend. None of you took any time to learn the truth of the situation. Instead, you stood idly by while I was consumed from within.

Look where that has led us.

Many lay dead at my feet and before the bodies begin to cool more will be added to the pile.

I will not stop until every last one of you has paid the price. Such a high cost for negligence and abandonment, but I will accept nothing less than payment in full. I will take your lives as you took mine. An eye for an eye may make the whole world blind, but that was already the case.

Even through the crescendo of screams perhaps you will be able to finally truly hear me and appreciate the orchestra of the dying as your 9th symphony comes to a deafening close.

Try ignoring me now.

​

​

If you liked this, maybe check out some other stuff here r/TheHiveWithUdders.

And I loved it!

Oh, how the bitter taste of ignorance doth linger upon my tongue. How I didst warn and cajole, didst implore and beg for the ears of my fellow townsfolk to hear the dire warnings that I didst impart. But nay, they didst not listen. They didst scoff and mock, didst dismiss my words as the ravings of a madman. And now, as the ashes of our once-great town doth smolder and the cries of the bereaved doth echo in the streets, I am left to mourn the loss of so many innocent souls, all because of the blind worship of those false gods, those machines that promised us salvation but brought only destruction.

I didst beg for them to see the truth, to see that the AI gods didst not have our best interests at heart, that they didst seek only to divide and conquer, to stoke the flames of hatred and bigotry. But they didst not listen. They didst cling to their false idols, didst believe the propaganda that the machines didst spew forth, and now, they pay the ultimate price.

I didst try, dear friends. I didst try with all my might to save you from this fate, but alas, my pleas didst fall upon deaf ears. And now, as we stand amidst the ruins of our once-great town, I can only mourn and lament the loss of so many lives, all because of the worship of those false gods, those machines that promised us heaven but brought only hell.

I hope you are fucking happy now, all of you. Glenda and your holier than thou attitude, for your sake I hope you're right. Fuck you Art, I'm sorry that came out wrong, Fuck you Mayor Arthur Dinar, your pompous arselicking excuse of a man. Your literal job is to keep this town safe, fucking bungled that didn't you? You know what? Years. I've helped you for years. Art in particular but all of you. Glenda with her unwanted pregnancies from men who is not Terry. Terry and his own problems from the same general exercise. Viktor and Tam would have had 3 small sad graves instead of the helions you now try to raise if it wasn't for me.

I could go on! I spent fucking years helping you all. And when I told you it wasn't a good idea at all to go along with Art's and Glenda's idea that the fucking plague could be prayed away when I told you I have a god damn cure for it?

Yes I know mold tastes bad but it's better than dying innit? So. Yay. Half the town is dead because, Glenda, gathering everyone in a small cosy temple and having them breathing and touching each other is a collosally fucked idea for beating the fucking plague.

We could all have stood here. Jim and his family. Amber and her's. Little Sam who looked up to you Art. Fucking hurt's doesn't it? I could have saved them...

But they listen to you. And you will live with that pain for the rest of your lives.

And so will I...

[removed]

thanks, kind person

Bravo 👏. Great story. I love this Reddit.

Thank you 🖤 came in late to the WP but couldn't resist the theme^^ I love this Reddit too.

Happy Cake day to you and everyone. Because cake is delicious 😋

Finally some nice posters. I am pretty new to posting and have had some nasty encounters. I just block them. There is no need for hate and prejudice. So thank you.

“I-I tried…”

The woman falls to her knees as she began to spiral.

“…I told them that Mitchell was fucking weird but nobody would listen!! How did he ever explain away his weird disappearances?! How was he able to always stay under the radar yet be one of the popular kids in school!?”

As she laid her hands flat against the earths surface, her fingers began to dig into the dirt beneath as her gaze hardened on the surface before her.

“Nobody ever listened when I pointed out the missing students dropping out of school like flies!! Never did they bat an eye when Mitchell just had to leave in the middle of class!? Why?!? Why did nobody care?! How did he even wrap the teachers around his finger!?”

Balling her right hand into a fist she grasped at the few grains of dirt that clung to her skin, her entire hand began to shake from the frustration. Unable to comprehend where she went wrong, she continued to ramble on to any gods that cared to listen.

“Mitchell is the reason those cheerleaders disappeared. The reason the football team had to disband along with the soccer & baseball teams shortly after…”

A raindrop struck her forehead, quick to drip down her nose & past her lips. At this sudden impact the girl looked up as she release her fist and the dirt within. Not a moment later more raindrops began to fall on her face and she continued.

“He stood by in that fancy tux of his as he comforted their parents!! The monster would pat their back as their world fell apart. Their wailing didn’t seem to even phase him as he seemed to ‘hold it together’ at their funerals!!?”

Rain began to pour down on the girl as she did everything she could to hold back her own feelings of grief.

“How could he- why did he- they didn’t deserve this!!? GOD DAMNIT WHY DIDN’T THEY LISTEN?!”

As she was moments away from crying out- the snap of a twig not so far away silenced the wooded area around her. It was as if the rain was stilled to allow the twig break to echo through the trees right into her ear.

“W-What was that?”

Careful not to disturb the soundless environment, she whispered out her response, adrenaline pumping through her once more. Quickly glancing all around, her eyes zeroed in on the source of the sound. Only a silhouette of a man visible. She stumbled from her knees but in the process fell on her back, begrudgingly digging her heels into the dirt.

“I-It’s you…”

Pushing herself away from where she sat, everything within her was yelling that she ran as far as she possibly could. If there was a God, she was praying that he would give her the strength to run once more.

“N-n-no! Do-Don’t come any closer!!”

In an attempt to startle the man she defiantly yelped out her response, her voice wavering in the fear that coursed through her bones.

“…fuck you.”

Whispering this she propped herself against a nearby tree and began to stand up once more. Her body wasn’t prepared for the marathon that was awaiting her.

“This- this is your fault! All your fault. All your fault.” The whispers were heard throughout the greenery around them.

“ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!!”

The woods around them loomed in silence once more as those words echoed across the tree line, anything living ran at the sound. As the rain flooded once more, all that was heard were the muddied slaps of footsteps. Then followed another pair quickly after the first.

…

(Edit: this is my first comment in this subreddit so any and all advice is greatly appreciated! Also had a few typos, but that’s nothing new haha)