The muscular and imposing figure of the extraterrestrial calling himself Thrakker came to Earth to find the ultimate fight, threatening to level the city he landed in if he was not defeated. After the city's superheroes cleared the defenseless citizens, they attacked. Hero after hero and more than a few villains fell in the battle against the extraterrestrial warrior.

"Come fight me! Who shall be next to fall by my hands, puny earthlings? My patience fades," the unscathed alien bellowed.

Being just The Ultimate Punchline's sidekick, and an unpowered sidekick at that, Kid Quip was smiling uncharacteristically for someone walking in his schoolboy uniform towards the menacing figure. Quip kept his gaze steadily upon the posturing alien menace and carefully picked his path past the fires of the former business district, past the broken and bloody bodies of friends, colleagues, nemesis, and mentors.

"Hi there, big guy," he shouted. "Are you sure you don't want to leave now while you still can?"

Thrakker regarded the boy with a dismissive look, not seeing a battle worthy of his awesome might in the puny child. "Foolish mortal, I will grind your planet's very bones..."

"Yeah, yeah, we've all heard this repeatedly for the past few hours," Quip interrupted, waving at the large screen video billboards that the news drones had been haphazardly live-broadcasting onto. "We've gone easy on you till now." He raised his other hand, brandishing an old but sturdy single-button remote control.

A perplexed look appeared on Thrakker's face. "Seriously? A garage door opener?"

"Well, yes, but it's been repurposed," Quip replied. "With it I can open a portal to summon...", then started making choking sounds as Thrakker rushed him, effortlessly lifted him by the neck, and snatched the remote.

"I care not for your prattle, whelpling," said Thrakker, casually tossing Quip into a distant dumpster. "The eternal quest for glory is my only desire," he exclaimed, posturing for the camera as he dramatically pressed the button. "Come face me, champion!"

The remote clicked and wheezed. A singular, glowing, forest-green dot that wasn't in midair a moment ago casually unfolded itself into two dimensions, becoming a line reaching a bad 6 feet from the ground. A conscious but concussed hero reached up in a vain attempt to stop it from unfolding further, but her injuries begged to differ and pulled her the rest of the way to a slight case of coma.

The energy line started rotating slowly, but doubled speed every passing moment, soon forming an optical circle. Thrakker unconcernedly tossed aside the remote, and pounded his fists together in anticipation. Grinning broadly with teeth a sentient shark would be proud of, saliva dripped off his jaw and started eating away at the cracked pavement beneath his feet.

As the portal fully formed, the very air held still, and the sounds in the area stopped as an female voice called out, "Kitty? Did I hear a kitty? Where are you, kitty?"

"Just to catch you folks at home up to speed," Quip narrated, as a friendly drone videoed him in the safety of the dumpster, "back when the Age of Supers began, there was a young heroine that went by the moniker Menagerie, but her name was really Margaret."

The most powerful being on the planet, aka Margaret, stepped out of the portal to save the day. Picture a young, voluptuous heroine in her 20s wearing a body-fitting spandex with glowing blonde hair, alluring eyes with a promise of things to come in them, and a smile that could charm anyone's socks off. Now age her an additional 50 years, her hair is all greyed and frazzled with some curlers perpetually stuck in it, the spandex has been traded for a comfy bathrobe and slippers, swap soda-bottle glasses for the alluring eyes, and her teeth have been replaced with charming dentures, and that would be the savior of the day, Margaret. She looked up at Thrakker and said, "There you are kitty," obviously not quite seeing him clearly, as Thrakker resembled a house cat as much as she resembled a person with a modicum of self-preservation or sanity.

Quip continued, "Back in her heyday, Margaret could turn criminals into whatever ordinary animal she desired. The old footage of this is just so adorable, but nobody had imagined that there was a drawback to her powers."

Thrakker gazed upon his new mortal enemy, then looking up and around, clearly disappointed and a bit bewildered. "Uh, is this a joke? I can't just pummel an old..." and then yelped as she suddenly reached up, grabbed him by a large floppy ear, and effortlessly and, quite possibly for the first time in his life, painfully pulled him down face-to face with her. "Bad kitty! Where have you been? Come when I call you." Then she reflexively snapped the fingers on her free hand.

Thrakker shrieked as his massive physical form crumpled inward.

Quip monologued on, squirming and getting comfortable on the trash and definitely not getting out of the safety of the dumpster, "But the law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only converted... and, in Margaret's case, absorbed. And a human has a lot more mass and therefore energy than, let's say, the standard housecat. This worsened exponentially when she transformed Supervillains, as the potential energy of their powers had to go, well, somewhere."

Steam and other vapors arose from the cute little ginger cat as Margaret picked it up and cradled him in her arms. The air around the pair loudly vibrated and thrummed as potential energy was absorbed by Margaret, who was now giving the former city-destroyer some very nice scritches behind the ears. As the purring commenced, she shuffled back towards her portal and the interdimensional comforts of home.

"While she could physically handle the energy, her mental acuity started deteriorating rapidly and for the safety of everyone else on the planet, she had to be contained," Quip carelessly fanboyed on.

Margaret's and the new cat's ears perked up at Quip's monologue, and Margaret the Crazy Cat Lady looked over to Quip's formerly safe dumpster and ominously said, "Kitty?"

Quip's eyes went wide in shock as he muttered, "Oh crap."