"Fuckkkkkk," I said as a woman ran across my path. She was dressed in fine garments and wore one of those stupid pointy fucking hats with ribbon coming off of it.

"Oh, daring hero, can you help me?" she asked as she flung herself at me. "I'm being chased by one of the Emperor's hunting parties. They'll be following quickly. Surely a hero of your stature can save me."

I peeled her hand off my shoulder, turned her around, and gave her a light push.

"Nope, keep running. I'm sure you'll find somebody."

"But hero, it must be you! They will be upon me before I find anyone else!"

"Not a hero," I said as I pushed past her. "You better get to running instead of talking. People might think you want to be found."

I wasn't playing this shit anymore. That was the third princess this fucking week. I didn't have time for this shit. Ever since that witch unlocked my memories from a past life, I've been so over this. I thought it would bring me great power and knowledge. All it did was make me sick of this shit.

Six times. Six! Who gets reincarnated as the same fucking guy six times? Sure, I was good at it. It had worked out in my previous five lives. But now that I had the memories of all of those lives, I wanted to be something different. Do something different. I was going to be a llama breeder.

But first, I needed to find a llama. Well, two llamas, actually. A male and a female. Then I had to find a place to raise my llamas. The problem was I had no skills. My entire life, I had been raised to be a chivalrous knight. I was trained in the way of martial combat, I was the best in the land with a sword, and I was able to talk my way into anywhere. But now, all of that was useless. Nobody cared if a llama breeder could use a sword. Only if he could breed llamas.

I had heard of the great llamas out east. They were gallant and fluffy, and some said they could even carry a fully-grown man on their back. I was on my way east to find two such llamas and procure them. I had thought about entering combat tournaments, but then I might fuck around and get roped into saving a princess or something. No, I had to make this work without using any of my knight training.

"Maybe I'll work at a bar," I said as I continued down the road.

"Sir, please!" the princess cried out. I let out a sigh. Fuck.

"Is there a reward for this?" I asked as I turned to her.

"Of course, sir, my father will pay you anything for my safe return."

"And just so we're clear, there is no fucking legend or prophecy about a great hero in your kingdom, right?"

"Well, legend tells tale of a brave knight who - "

"Nope, not interested." I turned back around and began down the road again.

"Fine, no prophecies! Just save me this one time. One time thing. We'll pay you, and you can be on your way to wherever you're going." I let out another sigh.

I drew my sword as a pack of three men on horseback came riding onto the road from the forest.

"Does your family have any llamas?" I asked as they approached rapidly. There better be fucking llamas for this shit.

​

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Let me know any feedback or criticism, I'm still working on my writing overall. <3