I am the proprietor of a bar in a shithole. That's putting it lightly, but it's mostly true. I'm surprised that I haven't been robbed more. But my clientele seem to mainly consist of the big, rough and tough, built like a brick outhouse variety. So maybe they don't rob me for that reason.

I'd say they like me quite a bit out here. I mean, it's always busy, I make a lot of money, and they all tip remarkably well.

But I get a lot of phone calls from the local police department. I mean, a lot of phone calls. I've even had a few policemen, who were plain-clothed but very obviously out of place, come down and ask me about some of my clientele.

... I know all of them had come to The Alibi at some point. I just don't remember when. I don't have a particularly great memory for faces and such, but is it really lying if I don't know whether I'm lying or not? Besides, every time I answer with a "Yes, I do recall seeing them" I get far more gracious tips.

I think it's because the guys that come in here are very kind.

Sure, I don't know why I received two free trucks of alcohol that one time, or why I received a very generous offer to have the place renovated, or why I received a free shipment of new tables and chairs, or why I'm being paid 10,000 a month to allow my clientele free reign of the basement. I couldn't even tell you why they stop me from going down there. Maybe they live down there?

Anyway, I think all my clientele are very nice people. I don't think any of them are thugs, even if everyone else thinks they are. All they need is a drink and someone to talk to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to fill up some bowls with almonds.