"Why do you think we are here?"

"My guess? Somebody hates us." Mars answered.

This wasn't exactly the most far fetched theory at this point. Landon Park wasn't exactly a stellar place to begin with. Thus when it was somehow glassed and wiped off the map of Ohio; most others rejoiced in glee. At least online they did. Everyone tried to play along at the memorials.

The truth was that the Park had always been in some way on its way out. A slump in farm production, led into heavy industry. That slumped and led into further decline of the area. Numerous tech giants claimed they would buy land and repurpose the area. But in classic fashion, those that did either backed out, gave up, or pocketed the cash and ran. A city of 210,000 had dwindled down to 100,000.

And that was before the test facility exploded. Oddly enough, a speeding semi was rumored to have caused the blast. But that was a story for people back home to figure out.

"At least it's peaceful." Angelika smiled.

This brought up a lot of rather unpleasant memories. Their first raid from barbarians. The feral goblins. That one time Mars himself got abducted by harpies. The time one of the corner stores burnt down. At least they reopened next door. It's not like the neighbors were home in the last 30 years anyway.

"I beg to differ." He mused eventually.

"Oh come on. Look on the bright side." Angelika suggested.

He supposed being reincarnated as an Oni would do that to a lot of people. Pretty easy to feel comfortable when you can proabably level an entire human platoon using your hands and a fire axe. Mars on the other hand, Mars came back as something called a Kobold. He wasn't really big on his knowledge of lizards that walked on two legs.

"Whatever. This place is still a mess." He reacted.

"Oh stop. The Park has never been better."

"We're being pressed by a demon army on one side. A crooked human kingdom on the other side. And there's rumors of a dragon somewhere just over the hill there. You know, those things from those fantasy books you loved that torch everything when they get mad?"

"It's not like you're completely defenseless." Angelika pointed out.

Mars rolled the AR pistol in his hands. "Look. Just because I was involved with that incident at the hunting shop does not mean things have panned out."

"You're a Kobold that knows how to fight. Do you know how rare that apparently is?"

"It's not like I had a say in that."

A flash and rumble startled both of them, and the quickly left their lawn chairs and peered over the railing. Three floors below ther apartment, one of the neighbors was busy working with a cauldron. By cauldron, they meant a repurposed oil drum.

"Hey Patches!" Mars shouted down. "Do us all a big favor and don't burn the building down?!"

"Shut the hell up Mars!" The amateur mage retorted. "I'm reaching a breakthrough!"

"In magic, or crystal meth??" Mars shouted back.

A quick blast from Patches led Mars to lean backwards and let it strike the overhang. Flowers bloomed upside down from the ceiling, defying all logic. Well at least logic that normal people would carry.

Standing on the railing at the top rung, Mars hopped and snatched the bushel of flowers down. Dressing it like a bouquet, he handed it to Angelika in a mock formality.

"Flowers, my love?"

"Aww." She blushed. "You do remember it's our anniversary."

He smiled, but panicked internally. Because of course he had forgotten that it was their anniversary. He wasn't a complete idiot, sure. But as he always told himself, he sure gave it his all to reach such a high standard.

"What's wrong now?" She said as she quit hugging the flowers.

"I, uh... I gotta go downtown." He sidetracked. "Yeah. That's it."

"Well I'll go with you."

"No. No. You've been working guard for three days. Take a rest." He promised. "Have you seen Devon?"

"Oh God. What are you off to do?"

"Nothing." He lied poorly. "I just need to talk to him before I go."

"Last I saw, him and his friends were downstairs."

Of course, Devon and his friends didn't go easy on him about his proposal. A pack of Gnolls dying of laughter is rather contagious after a while, and it made sense why they were already his friends before they all got sent to see the Wizard of Oz.

"So. Let me get this straight." Devon said between tears of joy. "You came to get me. To break into the mall. To get a ring for your girlfriend?"

"I mean, yeah."

"Just ask one of the blacksmiths."

"They're still melting stuff down at the foundry. They've been at it for two months."

"Jewelry store over on 8th street."

One of the others interrupted them. "Ah nah, that place got looted day one."

"What about Smith's?" Devon suggested next.

Mars reminded him. "They burnt down."

"Shit." He frowned. Using a claw to scratch under his chin. "There was that one place next to the police station in the mall."

"Exactly."

"You do realize that place is pretty much cult territory right? Ever since those preppers took over?"

"I'm not going for prayer and a blood ritual. I need someone to help me bust in. Grab some loot. Bounce out. That's it."

"Man I got you." Devon promised as he made sure to grab his war hammer. And strap on a bulletproof vest. He knew how trigger happy Mars could get in a pinch.

They crossed the parking lot as the sun began to set. A lone harpy watched them from a nearby strip mall before fluttering away on the breeze.

"You sure a ring will cut it?" Devon broached. "I'm serious. Your girl got some big hands."

"Shut up bro."

---

r/Jamaican_Dynamite