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AutoModerator t1_j5ta8zv wrote

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Deachaserd t1_j5vztzy wrote

Part 1

In front of the officer was a laptop. No matter how many times the video played, it just didn’t make any sense at all. A brown mouse chases a grey cat around a chair. Standing on the chair a dog that looked terrified.  "So you really expect me to believe this was all just an innocent accident?" The officer gestures at the room. If he hadn't seen the video, he would never believe it. But just a few hours ago this was just a normal gym like every other. The officer pointed at a corner that was covered in rust. What once were parts of a treadmill was now spread all over the ground. A treadmill that clearly exploded. Next to the Officer sat Hunter. His left arm was in sling, while his right hand absentmindedly tried to get the dust out of his burned hair.

"Well yes. The dog jumped onto the person on the treadmill. Unfortunately, they seem tohave some backache as everyone present could hear a crack and them shouting 'Oh, My Back'. I advised the gym owner not to allow pets into the fitness area as they might becomehazards"

"So this..." The officer looked at the laptop "unknown person with exaggerating back pain noises tried to support himself by grabbing the treadmill and accidently pushed some buttons. Which triggered a self-destruct function?" "Oh no, Officer. I asked the gym owner several times to repair this treadmill. It surely was a malfunction. What treadmill has a self-destruct button, please?" Hunter laughed. While he tried to hide his nervousness, the officer was correct to think Hunter might be the root of everything that happened today.

Another replay. The mouse finally catches the tail of the cat. With unexplainable strength the mouse pulls the cat and bites it. "Ouch" Hunter felt sorry for that poor cat. Still Hunter didn't dare to say more than answers to the officer’s questions. While Hunter was confident that no lawyer was needed, he also knew that everything he said could and would be held against him. Of course, only if the officer was determined to arrest somebody today. "So, it all started with that banana peel that you dropped" The officer raised an eyebrow. Hunter coughed. "Ahem, see, I am somewhat an officer myself-" "Health and safety officer" "-yes, and I would never ever drop a banana peel maliciously." The officer checked his notes.

"Several witnesses claimed you just had an argument with the owner." "I was having a friendly discussion with Mr. Scherer regarding cutting costs and how I felt like he was neglecting the gym’s safety." "And this involved dropping a banana peel." "No, but instead of buying trash bags He designated a trash corner. Everyone just throws their garbage there and the poor cleaning crew has to deal with it." "And accidentally the flowerpot above Mr. Scherer dropped and as he dodged, he steppedon the banana peel. I want to add-" "-that you advised Mr. Scherer not to hang flowerpots on the ceiling for decoration." Hunter nodded. 

"And the reason, why that dog jumped from the chair onto the treadmill persons back, is, that an anvil dropped from the second floor?" "Oh yes. Mr. Scherer promised me he would use some extra sturdy glass as floor for the second floor, or the ceiling of this floor, if you want to put it that way." "Which he didn't" Hunter chuckled. Despite the ashes on his face, he was in a great mood. "Never would he dreamed, that those anvils, which he called weight for true men, would shatter the floor, if accidently dropped. He got them from an old blacksmith who retired and sold them discounted."

A cat knot. As the cat tries to escape from the mouse it bends and entangles itself. Almost as if it was made of rubber. A few moments later it unravels itself mid-air and runs around the chair. Another loop.

"Back to the topic. Officer, as Mr. Scherer slipped, the banana peel was flung against the cuckoo clock. Startled by this the feathered friend broke free and attacked various gym members. A cuckoo is such a health hazard. They have various diseases they carry and don't mention the hygiene... " The Officer shook his head. Tired he took another sip of his coffee. Who in his right mindwould put a living bird in a clock?

 A huge turtle dropped from the ceiling hole and crushing the mouse under its belly.Another animal. Was he at a gym or was this a visit to the zoo?  Another loop.

Water bursting out of the damaged wall. Hunter runs and grabs some tools. Fixing the hole with some planks. Miraculously it works. Despite his fast actions, the ground is floored with water. "Heating is very expensive. Also repairing the ventilation system costs too much, so instead Mr. Scherer opened the windows. To let some fresh air in he says.“ Hunter looked over the Officers shoulder. Right as the ground was freezing. The officer gave himself an inner facepalm. No heating and open Windows. In January. In Alaska...

A mousechasing cat slides on the ice and crashes into the mouse. Pretty angry themouse bites back. Oh, the turntables. Now the mouse chases the cat. 

Fast forward. The cat grabs the turtle, aims, and rolls it knock out the flat, but still conscious mouse.

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Deachaserd t1_j5vzvix wrote

Part 2

"So the cuckoo attacked some people and I kid you not, he hammered some of theminto the ground" The officer, who had watched the video more than a dozentimes already glanced at the pits in the floor. It took them many hair dryersto remove those unlucky souls.

The turtle spins straight at the mouse. However last second the mouse kicks the turtle. The Officer was pretty sure many prestigious soccer clubs would love to sign a contract with this mouse. Redirected the turtle hits the cuckoo that was pecking its latest victim. Feathers. Everywhere.The officer looked up. On Hunters left shoulder was his so-called feathered friend that barely concealed its bottom half with feathers it collected of the ground. 

"And here is the banana peel again. Let me get this straight. The mouse slipped and used the overabundant energy to run up the wall." "Exactly. And as a patron saw the mouse, they ditched the anvil. Which resulted inanother hole." Another hole. True, there was a hole even before the turtle dropped. “Mr. Scherer was aware of the mouse infestation. He insisted, that the cat, anotherhealth and safety risk I might add, was enough to deal with it.”

Rewind. The turtle collides with the cuckoo and comes to a halt. An old lady who is way too focused on the music her Walkman is playing stumbles over the turtle shell. She races straightagainst the gym doors which offer no resistance. They fly open and the lady falls down the stairs. “I don’t want to say ‘told you so’-“ “-but you warned Mr. Scherer of placing the door right in front of the staircase.” The officer’s head began to hurt. He would have to work overtime to include everything thatwas wrong with this case.

“And the first hole was…” The Officer starts the record again “… created by a piano. How ironic.” “Despite my best efforts the gym owner insisted that the glass floor could hold the piano.Who could have foreseen, that one of the people pecked by the cuckoo was an opera singer. Her screeching reached heights I didn’t know humans were capable of. The floor could hold piano but coupled with her voice it was too much. Fortunately, only the part where the piano was placed collapsed, instead of the whole second floor.” “Which resulted into Mr. Scherer’s current condition.” “To save some room he tore down the walls to the storage room. That is why the janitors kept their tools in that corner. Mr. Scherer didn’t mind his steps and unintentionally stepped on a rake. The screaming and the loss of his valuable piano was too much for him. He went for the emergency exit. You know? The one door that is blocked by janitor utensils. This is so dangerous and illegal, but nobody ever asks the health and safety officer.” Hunter turned his head towards his boss who was still out cold, after the rake hit hishead.

“When his shady neighbour, whom Mr. Scherer hired to cut the tree in front of the gym, something long overdue as it was just a matter of months until this rotten old tree would snap and slam into this building, saw how Mr. Scherer went down, he yelled something along the line of ‘ain’t do no work for  dead men’, packed up and left.” But Mr. Scherer wasn’t dead. Just unconscious. “That is why the half cut tree collapsed” The officer watched the part again, where amidst the chaos and panic a tree hits through the window.

The dog gets scared by the tree and starts to run, dragging the table where its owner bound the leash with it. Clank. Everything that was on the table was now scattered on the floor. Only because he watched this video so many times he caught a glimpse of the mouse trying to steal some of the food that just dropped. The cat immediately jumps up and chases the mouse. The tree had hit a pipe as it destroyed the wall. A pipe that was already old. Something Hunter remarked many loops ago. The dog obviously scared by the mouse proceeds to retreat onto a chair. Pause.

“Am I free to go Officer?” The Officer sighs. Incredibly no one was hurt badly. Even the old lady landed without evena scratch. “Yea. I will make sure Mr. Scherer receives a fine for this… mess. Some gym members already voiced they might sue, but this shouldn’t concern you.” Just before Hunter stepped out of the door the officer raised his voice again. “Hunter? Do me a favour and take a few days off before you go job hunting again.This is already the third chain of mishaps that involves you this year. And it is still january. I am done with writing unbelievable reports.” Hunter grinned. “Almost as if a god had his hands in it.”

The unknown treadmill runner sat in a pub. It was already late so the only other person there was the barkeeper when Hunter entered. “You look terrible. Here, I already ordered a beer for you. And let me help you fix your hair” Thebarkeeper put another beer on the table. “It was to be expected that something was bound to happen if no one ever listens to me. Iam the safety and health officer after all, Dave.” “Sure. You always have the greatest ideas. Remember the black hole one? I might try it outone day…”

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Deachaserd t1_j5xcgoc wrote

u/Hunter62610 This one's a bit messy and I will change the name if you are uncomfortable. (Just skip to the last paragraph of the story if it's too much text) You gave me some ideas, so I added a little gimmick at the end

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