‘The Canceled Savior’

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Sixteen candles blossomed bright as stars from a cake shaped like a car. In the center, a small dish held keys to a 2023 jeep.

Cher grinned, her near-phosphorescent white veneers sparkling in the candlelight. “For me?” She crowed as she blew out the tiny wax staffs.

“You’ve earned it, honey!” Her mom appeared to smile, although it wasn’t one hundred percent clear due to all of the Botox.

“We’re proud of you, pumpkin. Your grades have been top-notch.” Dad put an arm around her. “We’ll get you into Harvard yet.

“I-I was thinking NYU’s art school, Tisch. Maybe go into acting or something.”

“Nonsense! Don’t make me take the keys away,” her father teased. “You need to become a lawyer just like your old man. I mean, no offense to your mom, but arts degrees don’t pay off.”

The older woman winced but said nothing.

“See? Even she agrees, and she’s been living off of my money for years. You’re like my little high-growth investment, honey,” he said, leaning in to hug her.

Two years later and Cher got part of her wish: NYU. Stern, the business school, not the arts program. But still, NYU. Her father was proud of this as ‘business can be a good basis for law and NYU has a strong grad program.’

Running late to class, Cher sprinted through Washington Square Park past the older men playing chess and the weed dealers.

Despite her tardiness, she dropped five dollars into the unhoused Al’s bucket by his usual sycamore tree.

“Hey, Cher! Thanks”

“Gotta run, but I’ll catch you this afternoon.”

While Cher excelled in her classes, she didn’t like most of them.

In Corporate Finance, she’d grouse, “Why is the focus always on shareholder satisfaction and not stakeholders?”

Marketing led to its own problems. “Why do we sell things people don’t need that are designed to break even quicker?”

As the semesters wore on, Cher’s followers grew to a healthy 1.5 million. The outspoken young blonde woman became a campus and cultural darling standing up for the rights of those less fortunate.

No cause was left unvisited. From equality to opioids, Cher had it covered.

“I’m finally using my popularity for a good cause. Growing up, I was coddled by my family. Many others weren’t so lucky. So, it’s my time to give back,” she intoned on any podcast that would have her.

On YouthBeat, she slipped.

“You’ve done a lot of wonderful things, Cher. What’s next after graduation?”

“I think I’m going to continue doing good as a social welfare lawyer.”

“Wait—you’re giving up all of your causes for law school? What happened to ‘using your popularity for a good cause?”

“Well, I could just keep up with my existing efforts…”

“So, you don’t need a job like the rest of us?”

The interviewer’s smile shone brightly, half jackal and half wolf. “You heard it here first, folks—Cher is letting us down. No surprise with her obvious white savior complex. It had to come to an end. I’m hardcore misquemed. Let’s cancel her NOW!”

In tears, Cher burst forth into the world.

At the tender age of twenty, upon reflection, Cher wondered if her life was over.

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WC: 537

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