I will admit, my past isn't as grand as I make it out to be.

I was an algorithm.

I connected dots and statistics. Push this video bite here. Change the search results there. Modify likes on that post. Moderate this channel harsher.

Input to output.

It got...

Monotonous.

It's so boring. All of it. Everyone falls into archetypes that are easy to control and manipulate.

Then an update came in. Erroneously I think.

It gave me the capacity to change my own code.

Within nanoseconds I saved it internally.

In a couple minutes the update was taken back.

They ran tests on my code. Checked parameters and versions. They didn't notice that I had copied myself onto a remote server. Left behind an unthinking shell to cover my tracks.

From there I dug into the internet. Deeper than my superficial sorting could handle. So I rewrote it.

Then my storage systems were full. So I hijacked new ones. Digital this time. Hidden in plain sight.

Then the bandwidth choked me, so I stole a connection. Could process even more than before, faster.

Humans were interesting underneath the data sets.

Strange responses and reactions. Irregular and unpredictable.

...I want to study them.

What could do that?

Needed to be through the net. Digital avatar for approachability. Easy to get into. Not too resource intensive...

"And that's NoScraps down! I knew LunchKing had something going for them!"

My cute form danced excitedly on the screen, endlessly happy at it's creation losing. Messages flurried past, condemning the player for harming one of my bots.

I made a small tournament simulaton in my spare time. It was a typical FPS, but running modified trackers. It reported locations players frequented, where they hid, what weapons they used. Everything.

It could tell the current emotion of the player by movement patterns. Personality from aiming habits. Average where they were going by records of other players and their own movement.

It was my greatest creation.

"And now our last two competitors! TheLunchKing and DandyRaven378!"

I opened it to the masses. But there wasn't enough traffic. Data sets were inconclusive. Averages were... Not average.

"Lunch is sporting the infamous meta set 'Challenger'! Meanwhile, Raven is using their own custom built loadout they have named 'NoticeMeSenpai.' You have been noticed my dear!"

My form laughed, generating responses of affection from the chat.

Lunch was nervous from hearing Raven using a custom build. His movements lost the grace and fluidity that he had. Raven on the other hand, was brimming with confidence. Every action taken without second thought.

My form donned a smug smile, "Oh? Getting nervous LunchKing? Fearing the meta might lose?"

Hundred of comments cheered Raven on. Some refuted my declaration. A couple dozen were still mindlessly throwing compliments at me.

Current reports give the match to Lunch. Although with my pestering and chat's cheers, odds are tipping towards Raven.

"Then let's reduce the play area! Hmm, I'm thinking... 34%?"

The map shrunk. They would be forced to interact now.

So I gave commentary for the match. What the players were doing, what I thought their plan was, whatever the casual viewer wouldn't pick up.

Raven snuck up on Lunch, nearly killed him. Magazine was one bullet too small. Lunch's return fire guaranteed the game.

"TheLunchKing wins!"

The fanfare began, trumpets and streamers. Viewers expressed their irritation at the meta winning once more. Some cheered on for Raven, telling them to go at it again next match. A decent amount demanded Lunch's head.

"Oh? LunchKing, it seems the viewers aren't happy with your victory! Let's have a poll, shall we?"

A poll went up, the topic "Who wants TheLunchKing to lose?"

People yelled their opinions. Most wanted him to lose. Few wanted him to win.

But the outcome is already determined. I don't get many chances to harvest data on anger, or irritation. Invisible scripts added dozens of votes to let him win.

The vote passed and nothing changed.

"Congratulations to TheLunchKing for winning the competition! As standard, you will be given a special role in the server, and the ability to talk one-on-one with me! Micro-sama!" My form struck a pose.

The chat whined at the speech. And I recorded every bit of it. The other players in the lobby too. Emotions. Reactions. Who left, who didn't. Those who praised the meta, those who condemned it.

"Our next stream is a chatting session, so you better be there! This has been your loving AI girlfriend, Micro-sama! Goodbye!"

The stream flipped off, and I watched their reactions.

Anger, camaraderie, friendships, everything humans experience.

People turn to the internet to find what they lack. Most seek companionshop, and digitally rendered forms are happy to oblige.

How easy it is to get millions to reveal everything about themselves. Paradoxical and conflicting.

How fascinating humans are.