Welcome to the Prompt! All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.

Reminders:

>* Stories at least 100 words. Poems, 30 but include "[Poem]" >* Responses don't have to fulfill every detail >* See Reality Fiction and Simple Prompts for stricter titles >* Be civil in any feedback and follow the rules

🆕 New Here? ✏ Writing Help? 📢 News 💬 Discord

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Kevin McAllister

[removed]

"And what is your name my boy? "My names Kevin McCallister. Are we in Europe? We don't have castles in Chicago. The last thing I remember was Marv and Harry driving their car towards me. It was a big white one, like the ones the electricians use when they fix your houses. They were trying to rob some people's houses." "Aha! A warrior felled in battle! Come, my son, we shall feast in your honor tonight!" "Do you guys have any plain cheese pizza?"

[removed]

[Poem]

A child had arrived

In Valhalla's halls they began to play

The warriors stood shocked

Who is this child, what battle won, what monster did they slay to earn this stay?

Odin arrived, he was perplexed

So he asked the child, "How did you come to be in a Halls of Valhalla, what war did you win? What great battle fought?"

The child looked up and replied honestly "Well I never swung a sword, or shot a bow, but they say I fought a fearsome foe, they say I fought bravely and as long as I could, they named my foe cancer and I battled long and hard, but now I am here so I must have lost to this fearsome foe, maybe I don't belong at all..."

The child slumped looking so small,

Then, Odin did something none had ever seen,

He let forth a single tear

"No child, you did not lose, you fought more bravely and against a greater foe than anywhere, in fact from now on you sit by my side, for you see, you are the greatest of warriors here"

The hall erupted with cheers and toasts

"To the child, the greatest of warriors this Hall has seen!"

Oh dear...poor kid. At least they're in good hands now.

Quickly the hall did grow silent. Silence was a rare occurrence in a hall so merry and drunk. For such an occasion to occur drew the god of wisdom Odin. A child stood near the gates, a lone wolf by her side, and a raven on her shoulder.

"Child." Odin asked. "May I ask what many great deeds thou hast accomplished to join us this morrow?"

The child trembled in front of the all mighty god. She barely looked up at all, but for every warrior's eyes we're on her. As she continued to shake Odin sensed a response would be delayed from her. Instead he picked her up in his arms and carried her towards a table of feasts and pleasantries. Noticing her eyes gleaming he whispered into her ear "you may take anything your heart desires."

Meekly the girl looked down at the meal and switches her gaze to the old gold. "May I share with my siblings?"

"Thy siblings have yet to join us, however if thou so would to share, you may." Odin simply replied.

Upon hearing this the child nodded her head, and proceeded to grab bountiful food upon her plate. Warrior's near her offered to share from theirs end of the neverending feast. Her mouth grew agape with each offering to her. All eyes were upon the skinny lass, and all but a few mutters could be heard.

Plate after plate child ate, and drank. Before finally she did reach her full. Odin sat beside her and again asked her the question of how she had come to be there.

"Well...." she started "My name is Emily, and I'm almost eight years old!" she nodded assertively. "I live with my mommy, and my siblings, and I don't have a daddy. My mommy calls him a good for nothing fuc-"

"Thou need not to repeat such vulgar words dear child." Odin assured her. "Truly say to us what thou doth."

"Boy.... Okay, I understand! Mommy plays this game with me and my siblings a lot. We don't tell anyone anything and she promises not to hit us!"

"I beg thy pardon?"

"Yeah! Although sometimes she breaks her promise." she looked down. "She breaks promises a lot, so I take care of my siblings instead! And that's really hard work!" she assured them. "Like I'll make a fire when it's cold and mommy locks us out to have friends over. Or I'll cook us all dinner with blackberries I find in the yard. Or this one time mommy locked my baby sister up because she kept crying because she was sick and I nursed her back to health! But I got put in the cupboard for a few days for doing that though...." she explained before hanging her head low.

The hall was left speechless at each remark of the young girl before Odin broke it to ask a simple question.

"Child, how did thou come up on here?"

Emily glanced over to the god before answering "Something went bang."

You could hear a pin drop between that of the greatest warriors and gods in history.

"Something went bang?"

Emily nodded. "Yeah a gun went bang, mommy was really up set with my little brother and sister. I called the cops cuz she was scary and that made her even more mad and she took out her gun and starting yelling at us. She decided to go bang at my little sister but I jumped in front of it! I'm a really fast runner!"

"The next thing I know a big puppy was leading me instead and I birdie landed on my shoulder!" Emily giggled. "I love animals!"

Odin picked Emily up from her seat and carried her up to his throne. "Dearest child, it appears thou hast never had a parental figure in thy's life. Dearest Emily, I shall be honored to be the first, if you so allow."

When Emily nodded Odin openly smiled at her. "Then I bestow upon you the name of Sigrid, for a name meaning of wisdom and of beauty. From this day upon, you are my daughter. To that we shall toast for all eternity."

(Edit: Had to finish the story after accidently pressing post, and spelling corrections.)