It was damned hard to figure out the socially acceptable response to walking in on a bloodstained settee. Does one ignore it politely? Or does one make a light comment on pale fabrics on furniture just being an absolute disaster waiting to happen - especially when one has women visiting on the regular.

I couldn’t quite come up with a quip and my husband and his grandfather seemed to be eyeing me with some trepidation, so I decided to opt for ignoring it. “Nonno!” I said smilingly, putting my arms out for a hug and requisites cheek kisses. “Darling!” I gave my handsome husband his own kiss. It was a required ritual - otherwise Nonno would interrogate me to make sure everything was good between us and that I wasn’t annoyed with either him or his grandson.

I had a feeling I was the favourite granddaughter in law. The others were just so shy and reserved when the old man was around - well, not that I couldn’t be, but I’d learned fairly well how to mimic being a normal, well adjusted human who didn’t flinch away from social contact.

I cast my eyes over the two remaining men in the room. One of them, shame faced and shaking, was refusing to meet Nonno’s eyes. He was likely the companion of the unfortunate woman who’d bled on the settee. Probably trying to work out the cost of a replacement - that’s what I would do in that situation. The other man was absolutely stone faced, standing just behind the first man and to the right. I caught Nonno’s gaze and flicked my own towards the two strangers.

He sighed dramatically. “I suppose it is only polite, as you would say, to introduce you to these guests of mine. Grigori, make your bow to my granddaughter,” the stone faced man did, in fact, literally bow in my direction, murmuring something too low for my hearing that sounded vaguely polite and welcoming. “Grigori has recently come over from the old country to help me take care of some particularly hairy problems.”

I smiled at Grigori and mentally filed him under “grandfather’s business employees”. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

A car backfired noisily outside and I saw the unnamed man flinch violently. I could sympathise. It happened so regularly near this office that I had half a mind to find the car’s owner and get them to fix the damn thing. “Don’t worry,” I told him sympathetically. “If you come here often enough you’ll soon get used to the sound.”

Nonno chuckled softly. He seemed to enjoy it whenever I spoke to his guests. It was probably why he kept inviting me round to the office. “I’m sure Emidio will take your words to heart, though hopefully he doesn’t have to come back here too often.”

I smiled reassuringly at Emidio but he seemed to be lost to his own misery. I’d have to say something about the couch or he’d agonise over it all day. God knows Nonno would be far too happy to let him squirm about it.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” I said to the guests, knowing that even if it were important Nonno would make me speak anyway. He was very big on power plays and emphasising his whole “family first” ethos. “I just wanted to let you know, I had a look around the dealership and I picked up the one I thought would be best for your purposes. Hybrid, very pretty, very fast. I checked everything and brought it straight here. Pauli has it stashed underground for you until you’re ready to play with it.” I vaguely noticed that both the guests were suddenly very pale and very still. Weird. I wondered with familiar paranoia if I’d said something strange. I ruthlessly brushed the thought to the side and decided to beat a strategic retreat. “If you’ve got no other jobs for me, I’ll be at home plotting my next campaign. You know how to contact me if you require my services. Ciao!”

I gave them all a little wave as I went to the door and then paused long enough to say over my shoulder “you know, Nonno, I’ve always avoided white furniture for the same reason I’ve avoided white clothes - blood is terribly hard to get out of them and always inevitably gets on them, no matter how careful you are. I’d go with black leather next time - much easier to clean.”