"Oh I have no soul"

She was clearly taken aback by how casually I broke it down to her, but starting like this only makes it easier to get her used to the idea. I was never a normal man. Always was somewhat distant towards others and I always seemed to be out of touch with what was normal and whatnot. Some called me a sociopath, but I was still too "alive" to say the least in order to be one. I care and have always cared for others which is why I was able to marry My'rrha when we were younger. She always told me she fell in love with how I just resonated with her.

"What do you mean, are you undead??" she asked in shock as she stood up from our table. I told her "No. Not undead, just soulless". I cannot blame her for feeling confused. The only ways elves are taught in most of their cultures that one can lack a soul are by being reanimated as a walker or having it shattered and spread into items. I wasn't like this. Believe me, I'd know. I'd feel. But I don't. My flesh doesn't decay and I can't feel the faint warmth I once had in my chest.

Of course, she then asked me how I am still alive or rather how can I still exist. Truth be told, I don't know either. Most things have a soul, an identity or a heart as they tend to say. A hammer will have a spirit that resonates to those akin to its first user or creator. A sword once used by knights of yore will only allow itself to be possessed by those with brave hearts. A dog would only lick the face of a man with a kindered spirit. I don't have that. I don't think I can ever have that again either.

As to how it happened, it did when I was still a teen. Many winters ago. Many before even My'rrha was born. My village was attacked on a summer day by 4 dark knights, followed by 2 liches. They killed everyone and raised them as undead slaves and forced them to attack and slaughter the neighboring towns all the while I was still out to play in the forest all by myself, bathing my bare legs in the cold river water.

Hours passed by without me even realizing it as my father usually went after me to grab me home for dinner, but this time that didn't happen. I only noticed that It was late once the water became too cold and the sun began to set. I rushed home, being afraid of getting scolded and going to bed on an empty stomach only to find a desolate burnt field where my home once was.

I got pinned down and I could feel them ripping my flesh apart. The undead can generally hear the beating of a heart from hundreds of meters away. I got ambushed. Fortunately, the adrenaline kicked in and I could feel nothing as my mind eventually faded away.

In what felt like an instant, I woke up to a knight wearing bright armor riding a white horse. As he watched me, giving what I assume is a thirty yard stare as his face was covered he began talking on an intrigued tone: "Curious. I have been watching you for years. Every time you fell and hit your head. Every time you caught a cold and every time another kid hit you with a rock a little too hard. I was always there, watching you and only you. You reek. You reek of something that does not belong among the rest. You're not of our devine creation and now that you died your soul was claimed by something else and not by my blade. Pestilence reanimated you, but it died once it finished among any other plague that touched your body. You are mind without soul and are therefore out of my jurisdiction as you're neither dead, undead or alive". As soon as he finished, he quickly left.

From that point on, no plague ever touched me and no ammount of time ever left an impact neither on my skin nor my hair. Every strike I felt healed as if it never happened and every child I bore died soon after birth, usually together with their mother. I roam the world waiting for whatever is my creator, to finally let me rest. To finally accept me as their child.

As soon as I told her everything, My'rrha left our house feeling the need for some fresh air and some space. I cannot blame her, I cannot blame her in the slightest but I still feel deep regret for making her feel this way. She makes my eternal torment bearable and I know she can be here for me untill the end as her elven kin does not die due to age.