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The dinosaurs didn't go extinct, the bones are brought from the future to hide crimes like in looper

Why green is not a primary colour

All the plants along your street mysteriously died one night. A few weeks after they were replaced, it happened again.

[deleted]

I’ve been thinking about the theory that Michael Jackson faked his death

Sans isn't Ness, he's the Pope.

Clouds aren't real. That's why they're so often compared to paintings of clouds

Oxygen is a drug. When we’re born, we survive without it for a while. Eventually, we get addicted and are unable to stop using it.

Selfish individualism is secretly encouraged those in power because people who know how to share and work together can topple regimes. The proof is in the single serve pudding, the personal size chips and the individual popsicles for kids. The single serve popsicle that you can't share with your little friend.

Clouds are fake.

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I know it sounds deranged. Like some weird sci-fi idea cooked up in some morons head on some blog somewhere. But it's true, completely and utterly true. I was once like you, beliving everything I heard and read, but I started to look between the lines. Beyond the fences into the true lies of our century, and the biggest one of them all is the cloud lie.

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Of course you are thinking right now, 'How would they fake clouds'? Well, it's quite simple you see, factories. Coal produces smoke, which produces clouds. Trust me on this, I read it somewhere once. That's why the government wants coal and oil to be constantly burning, not just to fuel our houses, but their lies. They are covering up our skies with smog and ash to cover up their faslehoods. By the way, climate change isn't real. It was made up by us to trick the greater masses into stoping their efforts. Sorry, but it was needed.

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Now, you are probarly thinking 'why?' Why would they lie? And I'll tell you why.

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To cover up the holes.

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We live in a box, and we need air. So, our great god gave us holes to breath through, giving us our life-saving oxgen. Of course though, the government doesn't want us to know about these holes for one simple reason. Church and state. The entire government would collapse and be replaced by our churches if god was proven to be real (Which he has been), and so to save their jobs and keep power they have kept up this ruse for centries.

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Lying to us. Defacing priceless artwork to include their precious clouds. And indoctrinating our children via forcing them to fraw clouds. I will never stand by this, and I hope you won't either. Please, join us. Become enlightened, and help us dismantle big cloud and reveal the holes in our sky.

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I hope this letter finds well, buy gold, and see you soon.

Criminal Evaluation Report #10927.

Defendant Letter to Judge. Harrison: 'DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES.'

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Listen, I don't have much time. Well, I do, kinda. They told me I could write this 'plea letter' to you for as long as I wish, but I don't believe them. Murderers, the lot of them. Crooked, untrustworthy, heartless murderers. Unlike them. Please, trust me when I say this, I didn't kill that baby.

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Hear me out.

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When I was a little boy, I heard the big lie like you and everyone around me, 'Animals can't surive without oxgen.' I trusted them, like you. Until I did a little digging and found a huge hole it their logic. Fish. Fish are animals, and fish don't breathe. Of course I heard the lie of 'gills' but I tested it, and almost drowned. You can't breathe underwater.

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Of course, I was laughed out of every scientific building, classroom and therapist office because of their bigoted believes. Disgusting how indoctrinated they were. For the past 20 years of my life, I was forced to sit in silence. Listening to uneducated morons around me claiming I was wrong. But I am right! Oxygen is a drug. A drug that kicks in shortly after a baby is born.

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And I know it's AFTER the baby is born, otherwise how else would it breathe inside the mother? The baby gets born, gets addicted to oxgen, 'sufficates' later in life in an accident when actually it is just withdrawl.

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So, I had to test it out. I had to try and stop a baby being addicted to oxgen at birth, to save them from becoming a druggy. I-

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[Paragraphs 7-10 Are Redacted Due To Graphic Nature]

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So yeah, that's when the cops came and they killed the baby. Not me. Don't believe their lies. Oxygen is a drug!

[deleted]

It makes so much sense.

Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus has been dead for years, and the media and most of the adult population is part of the cover up

All conspiracy theories were manufactured by the government to distract people and make them believe aliens/Bigfoot/ and other strange things are real.

The Tower of Babel was never a tower meant to enter the heavens, it was a *weapon* meant to *pierce* the heavens and take revenge upon God for his genocide of mankind during the Great Deluge.

This is supposed to be funny right

"Hey Mork, come over here!"

A six-wheeled alien sauntered over to a larger, eight-wheeled alien.

"Wazzup, boss?"

"I am impressed by your creativity, my young apprentice. You have managed to waste more of the humans' time with these just-so stores of yours, than the rest of us have been able to do with all our old klaptrap flatted flying orbs combined. At the next meeting of the human timewasters summit, I'm going to give you a raise. What would you like the raise to be in?"

The six-wheeler chuckled on the inside. He had actually invented conspiracy theories because he felt too lazy to be bothered to fly an actual flying saucer.

"Why thank you, boss, what an honor! I'd the bonus to be in vacation time. Because the humans do my work for me by spreading my stories themselves, I think I can afford to take some time off without getting behind."

The eight-wheeled alien tensed visibly at the suggestion.

"Well", he stammered, "that's a tall order." He rolled back a bit to think. "I'll see what I can do. Thank you for your tireless service, Mork, the society for the wasting of lesser beings' time has been breathing down our chapter's necks for years over the industriousness of humans. With your breakthrough, we may yet arrest their development without having to send in our precious tripod tanks to wipe them out".

God: what are you doing?

Humanity: ... nothing

God: Is that a doomsday weapon specifically designed to put a hole in my patio floor? Humanity: ...no

God: ok but just in case used Languages... it was super effective

Humanity: WAS IN GOTTES NAMEN IST EIN 塔?