It’s been 20 years. 20 years of loneliness and isolation. I’ve worn down the buttons on this phone to nubs. It’s a Nokia. They’re the best but even they have their limits. Each day I dial. Number after number, I take solace in the strange voices, the greetings and jokes, I’m particularly fond of the music.

I press the final button and hear the familiar ring, waiting for the final ring before I hear a new voice, a new name, when suddenly I hear a click.

“Hello?…Hello? Oh my god! Hello?”

I take a deep breath. This is it! It’s finally happened! Finally, a real human connection!

“Hello,” I say, “We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”