Submitted by Cody_Fox23 t3_zj72sn in WritingPrompts
oracleofaal t1_j0oqbm0 wrote
Reply to comment by Dbootloot in [CW] Smash 'Em Up Sunday: Disco by Cody_Fox23
*slow clap* Well played. I did not see that ending coming.
I loved several of your phrases:
|Pushing open the heavy wooden doors, he flowed into the building, hips and feet moving as if they had a special agreement with gravity.
|Shortly thereafter two double whiskeys slid across the bar, their dark brown liquid refracting the brilliance of that soulful haven.
My only crit is nitpicking -
| It was there idea to come here.
Should be "their."
|They did it until the work kicked out, past closing.
I assume you meant "the workers kicked them out"
Also, I doubt that his friends would have left without saying anything to him. But I know that conversation would have put you well over the word count.
Dbootloot t1_j0orke6 wrote
>My only crit is nitpicking -
| It was there idea to come here.
Should be "their."
I feel my soul withering. My least favorite type of error :'(
​
Yeah, with a higher word count I would've like to flush out a few more bits and pieces, but oh whale. Thanks for your feedback!
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