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oracleofaal t1_j0oqbm0 wrote

*slow clap* Well played. I did not see that ending coming.

I loved several of your phrases:
|Pushing open the heavy wooden doors, he flowed into the building, hips and feet moving as if they had a special agreement with gravity.

|Shortly thereafter two double whiskeys slid across the bar, their dark brown liquid refracting the brilliance of that soulful haven.

My only crit is nitpicking -
| It was there idea to come here.
Should be "their."

|They did it until the work kicked out, past closing.
I assume you meant "the workers kicked them out"

Also, I doubt that his friends would have left without saying anything to him. But I know that conversation would have put you well over the word count.

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Dbootloot t1_j0orke6 wrote

>My only crit is nitpicking -

| It was there idea to come here.

Should be "their."

I feel my soul withering. My least favorite type of error :'(

​

Yeah, with a higher word count I would've like to flush out a few more bits and pieces, but oh whale. Thanks for your feedback!

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