YATA

Sorry for the bad Terran. I don’t see a need to learn, so I had to use my servant for a translation.

Despite what the other comments here say, I don’t believe that they are native Remeridian like I am. Or, at least not from a traditional Remeridian colony. While I’m sure they would have been more understanding if Terra would have just surrendered its self-determination during their colonization, as we all know, you were the kind of people who futilely fought until the last second. And while you still lost the right to rule, I heard there’s a lot of resistance to learning about my beautiful, peaceful culture over there. Honestly, if you Terrans had just cooperated, you would probably know a lot more about Remerade, and it would probably have saved a lot of people some headaches.

(I know that falling under Remeridian rule is still a “sore subject” for some of you, but it’s not the first time we’ve helped out some poor savages in the middle of nowhere space, so “bite me” as you like to say. Also, you’re welcome.)

Anyways, back to the actual question. I’m assuming that your girlfriend is a Kyoraka (literally “Humble-Smooth” for you lazy few who haven’t finished your mandatory language classes) Remeridian, which is the race that’s a little similar to Terran Octopi (Octopusses? My servant said they still don’t get that part of your language). To your untrained, backwards eyes, I can only take pity on you for not being able to tell the difference.

When she says that those are her family members, she’s telling the truth. As the Kyoraka age, their form tends to shrink down into a size that is more suitable to be cared for, as by that point they will most likely have acquired at least a few dozen extraterrestrial servants to take care of them. (Personally, the Dourian servants are my favourite! They’re so cute, unlike some of the Terran servants I have, who just whine and complain after only 19 Terran-hours of work).

I know it might be a hard concept to grasp for some of you other commenters, but that news article from a few months ago about Kyoraka Remeridians mistaking Terran Octopi/pusses for their own family is NOT TRUE. To mark the words of your previous world dictator before he was found hiding in a bathroom stall under a pile of stolen documents during the colonization of your planet, that article is FAKE NEWS.

You’re lucky that she has taken interest in a Terran romantic partner, instead of a much more suitable Remeridian female. So it only makes sense that you should take care of her and all of her family. If you can’t afford it, just get another job or two. Terrans only live for a hundred years or so, so it’s not like you were going to accomplish much with your life anyways.

Not to mention, you people go unconscious for like 8 hours in a single planet rotation, which I always thought was unnecessary and stupid. Why don’t you just stop doing that and start supporting your superior girlfriend more?

Anyways, you’re welcome for taking the time out of my busy day to answer your question. I grant you permission to ask any more while I’m still feeling generous.

Edit: No I don’t think the op should “talk it out with her girlfriend!” What would there be to talk about? And what suggestions could a Terran even make that a Remeridian wouldn’t have already thought of? Honestly, I think I was right in my initial assumption that you are all Terrans as well.

Edit 2: WOW. Some of you are really hurtful in the comments AND in my dms!! I have not said a single rude thing throughout my entire post! I think you all are the ones who need to “stop being specist” and “intolerant!” I’m really getting attacked here for saying what we’re all thinking!

Edit 3: Thanks for the gold kind stranger.