“How is this possible? Dr. Jaeger pondered as he loaded another clip into his gun. He was a molecular biologist who had never fired a gun in his life. Shrieking yowls of a creature reverberated down the hallway, announcing to Dr. Jaeger the position of one of the loose specimens. He inhaled deeply, preparing to round the corner. He turned around the corner and caught a glimpse of specimen BH90201, an agile creature, like a hairless mountain lion but with neon-green saliva dripping from its gaping maw. Upon seeing Dr. Jaeger, specimen BH90201 catapulted into a sprint down the long hall, its claws struggling to make traction against the smooth facility floors. For a fleeting instant, Dr. Jaeger thought he saw… crosshairs? He shook his head, raised the gun with steady hands and pulled the trigger. The cerebral cortex matter of specimen BH90201 splattered against the wall.

Dr. Jaeger darted his eyes in quick assessment for any further threats in the immediate area. He rushed down the hallway, feeling the air lifting his long white lab coat like a cape. Fluorescent lights flickered as he approached the door at the end of the hall. A woman’s wail from inside told him all he needed to know. He scanned his badge on the keypad… even in an emergency he had to badge in. He opened the door and witnessed the carnage before him. Chunks of flesh and organ meat were strewn about the room. Dr. Jaeger estimated 10 dead, though it was hard to tell in the jigsaw puzzle of severed limbs. Dr. Damasell was entangled in the thick tentacles of specimen 10TAI, a 14-foot squid-like creature with five eyeballs and the mouth of a lamprey eel.

Standard bullets wouldn’t cut it, Dr. Jaeger knew. Fortuitously, he noticed, under the disembodied arm of one of the slain guards, something with a little more kick. Dr. Jaeger was confused why one of the guards had an AT4. They were run of the mill security guards, why would they be armed with anti-tank weaponry? Even more baffling to himself, was that when Dr. Jaeger picked it up, he instinctively knew how to use it. Specimen 10TAI’s tentacles swung towards him, but Dr. Jaeger fired. Somehow, despite the magnitude of the weapon, Dr. Jaeger’s hands and body were unperturbed by recoil. He jumped backwards, narrowly missing the thrashing tentacle.

The projectile made its way directly into the center of 10TAI’s mouth, past the rows of razer sharp teeth. Specimen 10TAI exploded, its flesh splattering across the room like meaty confetti. Dr. Damasell thudded to the floor. Dr. Jaeger dropped the AT4 and began stepping over the fallen tentacles and chunks of flesh. Dr. Damasell lay on the floor, untangling herself from 10TAI’s lifeless tentacle. Dr. Jager offered her a hand. She had a small cut above her eyebrow but was otherwise unharmed.

“Thank you, Dr. Jaeger!” she exclaimed, giving him a kiss. Words flashed in the air, as if by magic. “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! 10,000 XP!”

“And THAT,” my thirteen-year-old cousin Damian exclaimed, “is how you play the game, LOSER.” He tossed the controller unceremoniously across the room, flipping me the bird as he strode towards the hallway, hollering to my aunt Carol, asking her when lunch would be ready.