He cackled in delight as he threw Mary into her cell. “Now we wait for PolyChromatic Man to come save you, and, once he arrives…”

“Yes, we’ve done this before, Steven,” Mary cut in as she plopped down in her usual spot in the cell. “You have some big, bad and ‘unbeatable’ way to finally kill PCM, he’ll show up, and, after you give your villain soliloquy about how this is it for PCM, he’ll find a quick way to stop you, and we’ll all end up where we always do: you’re arrested but escape before the police can get you in the squad car, PCM is the top headline, and I’m at work trying to explain why I missed my shift again. Honestly, can we just not this time because my employer is super close to firing me over your abductions.”

“First of all, my name is Dr. Vile, and you will address me as such,” he yelled from across his twisted laboratory filled with dangerous weapons of destruction and mayhem.

She rolled her eyes and slouched down more in her chair. “It’s Steven. I know it’s Steven, and you know I know it’s Steven. I’ve known for years now, because we grew up together. For God’s sake, Steve, you and Doug were at my house last week to play boardgames.”

“That… we both agreed we wouldn’t talk about that when I’m at my day job,” Vile said as he glanced around to make sure none of his minions had heard her. “Besides, I have well earned my moniker, and you will respect it,” he demanded as he began the finishing touches on his machine to finally end PCM’s life.

“Earned it?” Mary actually guffawed. “How?!”

“How?” He stared down at her from his position in the room, incensed that she could even ask such a thing. “What do you mean ‘how’?! I’m the foremost villain in the world! The amount of death and destruction I’ve wrought is unparalleled. Whole countries have bowed to my whims over the years! I’m a…”

“An idiot,” Mary finished with a sigh. “Tell me this, Dr. Whatever. Why do you keep using me as bait for PCM?”

“You can’t be serious,” he replied, coming down from his platform to stand in front of her cell.

“You’re the perfect bait. What superhero would ever pass on saving their beloved girlfriend?”

“Look,” Mary sat up in her chair, shaking her head at him in disappointment, “I’m not his girlfriend, okay? So, if you’re looking for bait, could you not use me anymore because my job…”

“Don’t try to trick me, woman! It is clear you are, in fact, his love interest. The amount of time he spends with you is…”

“Not half as much as he spends with his ACTUAL love interest,” she cut back in, rolling her eyes and standing to walk around her cell. “You watch him so much; who does he actually spend most of his free time with? Hmm? It’s not ME; I can tell you that right now.”

Vile quietly thought it over for a moment, his mind running through the vast catalog of knowledge he had regarding the hero. “Well, outside of you, it’s me.”

She stopped pacing and turned to stare him down. “Do you know what polychromatic means?”

He balked. “Of course, I do; don’t be absurd. It means multicolored.”

“Right, multicolored, like a rainbow. You know,” she made giant hand gestures, “a rainbow? A rainbow, Steven, and,” she tapped the glass of her cell for emphasis, “has it ever occurred to you that my best friend, aka YOUR boyfriend, Doug, is the guy who spends the most time with me?”

“Well, of course he is. You’re not dating anyone right now, and you’re Doug’s best friend. Why wouldn’t you two spend a lot of time together when he’s not at work or with me?” Vile rolled his eyes at the obviousness of her observation.

“Yeah, right, EXACTLY.” Again, she shook her head at him. “And have you ever noticed anything about PCM that you find even remotely familiar?”

Again, Vile stood and really thought about. “Well, his mask hides his face pretty well, but I have noticed his eyes are the same color as Doug’s, and, now that I’m thinking about it, he’s Doug’s height as well. In fact, he walks a lot like Doug, and he sounds a lot like Doug. Actually,” Vile frowned in thought, “there’s a lot of similarities between Dough and PC… OH MY GOD, DOUG IS POLYCHROMATIC MAN.”

“He’s a 10, but he doesn’t know he’s married to his own arch nemesis,” Mary snarked. “So, can you two, you know, go to couples counseling or something? I’m serious. If you abduct me one more time, I’m going to lose my job, and then I’m coming for your head. I mean it, Steven.”

Absently, Vile nodded okay as he blindly reached for the door release to Mary’s cell just as PCM busted through an exterior wall. “You won’t get away with this, Dr. Vile,” he shouted as he looked for Mary.

Stepping calmly out of her cell, Mary held up a hand, “I’m good, Doug. In fact, I’m leaving. You two can do whatever.”

“Doug!” PCM blanched at his secret identity being revealed to his mortal enemy. “I don’t know who…”

“Shut up, Doug,” Vile called out as he turned to face the flying hero. Reaching up, he unclipped his mask and pulled it from his face, revealing his own secret identity. “Just… just sit down, and I’ll grab some coffee so we can talk,” he said with defeat lacing his voice.

The last thing Mary heard as she walked out of the room was Doug’s shocked voice bellowing though the laboratory, “STEVEN?!”