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Robysto7 OP t1_ix294xu wrote

Reply to comment by Surinical in [PM] The Old West by Robysto7

Lightning cracked the night sky, bats soared from the belfry of the great manor on the hill. Wolves howled along with the thunder. Ominous storm clouds clung to the isolated manor, a group of five riders galloped towards it. The notorious Grimes gang were the only posse willing to take on the bounty, dead or alive, just the way they liked it. This job would change everything with such a high price.

Bounty was a killer, speculation was he kidnapped at least thirteen of the townsfolk, never to be seen again. Real old feller, lotta wrinkles, pale dead eyes, sharp teeth, but deceptively handsome and suave. All the supplies were gathered, robbed a grocer of all his garlic, boosted some holy water and crosses from the chapel, pulled a few railroad spikes, hope nobody is using those tracks.

Silver bullets for the gang's six shooters, although the leader Gus, protested that was for werewolves, not blood suckers. He was overruled. Gang dismounted to approach quietly on foot. Gus's right hand man, Percival, a proper British fella who was the brains of the operation went over the plan one last time.

"Split up and search room by room. Keep your lanterns lit, stay out of the shadows. The garlic around your necks and the crosses around your waists should keep any foul creature within striking distance. Do not hesitate to strike, do not let the blood sucker seduce you.

Do not underestimate this creature. They can hypnotize you, seduce you, offer you vast riches in exchange for obedience. Do not listen to his lies should he tell them. Plunge the stake into his heart, get paid. Easy enough."

The gang put their fists in and pumped themselves up. They were gonna be rich. Gus led the charge through the iron front gates, Selina blew the front door open with her double barreled shotgun. Splitting up went out the window as they entered the grand hall.

An endless red carpet lined with torches made from human skulls led to the foot of a massive throne made of human remains. A pale, slender man sat with his legs crossed, cape draped over him, drinking deeply from a golden goblet.

"Vasn't expecting company zis evening." An ethereal voice called out, the voice reverberating in the gang's skulls. They opened fire, sending round after round downrange. Gunsmoke filled the hall, bullets whizzed and ricocheted through the haze. A chilling cold swept across the gang members, the hall fell silent. The smoke parted, the slender man unfurled his cape, dropping the bullets.

"I believe zes are yours. Who are you people?" He asked.

Percival kept good to his word, he lunged at the man. Percy was a lover, not a fighter. Two sharp fangs clamped around his neck, using him as a meat shield, a cloudy smoke filled Percival's pupils. The slender man used his sharp fingernails to cut the garlic and cross from Percy's body. "Zes trinkets vill do nothing for you. I have gotten rid of that veakness. Thank you for dinner. You may leave now."

The gang reloaded. Meat shield or not they had to keep shooting, the next volley tore Percival to shreds, missed the man entirely, another cold mist, he was behind Selina now. He licked her neck sensuously. "You vill do. Quite beautiful. Kill zem, then you shall be mine."

Selina blew off Stan and John's heads, her hands shaking the entire time, eyes wide with fear. Blood spurted from piercing fangs, the man enveloped Selina with his cape, spinning her like a ballroom dancer. He locked eyes with Gus. Gus had one last shot, he threw the glass bottle of holy water at the man, hit him dead center, flames engulfed the dancers.

Gus rushed into the inferno clutching his railroad spike. With all his might he drove it deep into the man's chest, pinning him to the wall. A splash of blood erupted from the man's mouth, a sinister sneer crossed his face. "You have not von. My children are still hungry."

The howl of a wolf, the putrid smell of rotten breath, the slashing of claws on his shoulder, and the clamp of jagged teeth the last things Gus experienced on the dusty trail all cowboys ride.

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Surinical t1_ix5exoe wrote

Very good! I love the style and descriptions!

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