"I don't understand why it's so hard for you to clean the damn mirror!"
"I can't even use the mirror!"
"That makes it easier for you to clean! You can see all the spots!"
"Stop trying to distract me! This has nothing to do with the pre-diced garlic you keep buying. I told you you can only buy it fresh if you're going to use it even though a powder would be so much easier."
I leapt back into the argument. "You don't get the same depth of flavor with powdered garlic."
"That's not the point! You don't see me buying peanuts. I respect your allergies why won't you respect mine?"
I laughed, "Haha. Point."
"No! Don't you," he tried to stifle his smile but it was made harder by the fangs. "Don't you start!"
"Oh yeah? Am I...cross-ing a line?"
The laughter tugged at his beautiful, dead face.
"Don't make me bite you," he said with a huge grin on his face.
"You'd like that...wooden-t...you? Damn, I don't think that one worked."
He shook his head at me but the smile didn't fade. "Too much of a stretch. Where's your game at today?"
"As spotty as the bathroom mirror."
"FUCKING FINE. I'll clean it. Stop buying that shitty garlic. It smells so strong and gets everywhere too easily."
I would have to relent on this one. If he was finally going to clean the mirror I guess I should do something in return. "Fine, but my chili won't taste the same."
"I wouldn't know since I've never been able to eat it until now, asshole."