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I checked my weapon another time before sliding it into my jacket pocket with one last deep breath. “It’s going to be okay,” I said to myself in a low voice. “You can do this.”

With a heavy heart, I set out to complete my task and find the person I had been told to kill – my own beloved father. He was an upstanding citizen who had taught me everything that matters in life and brought joy with everything he did… and here I was tasked with murdering him without hesitation or doubt. But if there was one thing The Society demanded without fail it was loyalty; failure meant death at the hands of their own agents – no exceptions, no mercy.

I paced down the steps leading to his office struggling to keep up a brave face when all inside me screamed that what I was about to do was wrong… and then, just when all seemed lost… My father spotted me from across the room and welcomed me with open arms just like any parent would do when their child comes home from far away lands, unsuspecting of what's about to come .

It broke my heart but still… I let go of his embrace and took a step back pointing my gun at him with tears streaming down my face telling him “I'm sorry dad, but this is how it has to be." As soon as he heard those chilling words all color drained away from his face as he realized who I really was - an assassin sent in by The Society - someone who could see into him better than anyone else – someone who could even see through his kindest facade.

And so as soon as he knew his fate was sealed there were no more questions left unanswered nor any point in putting up a fight – he raised his hands high in surrender and let out one single sentence "I understand" before it all ended with a final simple gunshot inside that darkened room, forever etched on both our minds... just like so many other memories shared along life's journey, only now followed by a darker ending.

I know not where I come from or my real name. I merely picked "Yin" to represent the shadows and darkness, contrasting those in the light. I was adopted by the Assassin guild and tested out for my skills. Turns out, I was the perfect assassin, mastering every challenge with strong intuition and quick learning, as if I had been born for this. Dance across the waterfall. Dodge the thin strings laid with triggers of poison. Charm the noble and steal his money. They were all not an issue. But then the final test had arrived.

Many assassins were forced to turn away, unable to ever kill their parents who had raised them or their lovers. However, I was different. I felt very little emotion to most people, and thought long and hard about the challenge. How can you kill your most loved one if you love no one?

I looked towards the sky and looked for the person who had brought me the most warmth. As I saw the shining light, the answer was simple. I waited for night to fall, as I steeled my blade, striking only with the simplest of weapons. Tricks and fancy traps wouldn't work against my opponent this time. I donned my mask and uniform with the symbol representing the Guild's prowess.

He sat there in the calm with his legs crossed and closed eyes. Even in this state, I knew this was going to be difficult. One second. Two seconds. Three. I took a deep breath and rushed out behind a pillar, as he opened his eyes, catching my blade with his bare hands. "Who dares?!" He glared at me, parrying each blow and swing with practice, like he had done thousands of times before. As he glared at my form and uniform, our turning and tactics ever so familiar, he recognized me. "Why are you...?" He raised an eyebrow, daring me to finish the question.

But it took all of my focus just to equal him even with a knife in my hand. The dance continued, as he landed a bruise, knocking me backwards, still in a bit superior position. I barely held on to my weapon, brandishing it again. In a quick charge, I landed a small nick, only to get my body twisted around, as he kicked me across the room, the knife landing beside me. "Huff.... the final... test." I finally said, catching my breath.

He looked at me in disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me." In his hesitance, he lowers his fist, as I stand and run, barrage him with a series of blows, finally dealing some more damage. He recovers, countering the best he could, but seems to be struggling with the decision. Minutes pass with our deadlocked battle as we finally tire. Far too long of a battle to be an "assassination". I was disappointed... my skills still weren't good enough. However, he shakes his head, also seeming to agree with me. "This is... partially our fault, isn't it. The guild was bound to have connections in between its members... and things never made any sense. There must be something else behind its final test... I shall make you a deal. I will fake my death and you shall graduate. See to it that you discover the secrets behind it. I never questioned it until now. You have opened my eyes... Yin."

I breathe a sigh of relief... seems like I didn't have to keep fighting. "Oh, and an advice? You missed the left knee counter in that split second when I used the right hook." He lightly smirks at me, leaving the room.

"Yes, Sensei." I call his proper name, bowing one last time. My real test would begin soon.... I had best sharpen my skills more.

I sat in the chair, staring at Agent X approaching with the needle gun. He put it to my neck, and I felt a flash of pain as the giant needle broke the skin. This was the final test, most people would be nervous, but I had trained my entire life for this. When I passed, I would be the newest member of The Society. I knew it wouldn't be long before I would become one of the top assassins, and eventually I would become the leader.

As I rubbed the new bump on my neck, Agent X grabbed a hat covered with wires and put it onto my head. He typed away at the laptop it was connected to, and I started to hear the hat buzz. He set the laptop down and turned to face me.

"There is no turning back now. This machine will determine who you care about the most in the world, and then you will have 24 hours to kill this person. Fail, and your implant will automatically inject poison into your body. Succeed, and you will gain a new identity as one of the worlds top assassins."

I nodded, wondering who it would tell me to kill. Maybe my mother, although I hadn't seen her in a decade. She had never given me enough support anyways. It could have been my ex girlfriend, I still cared about her even if I realized two years ago that I was too good for her. Possibly my mentor, she was the one who taught me how to kill. I surpassed her skill in less than a year, but it still wouldn't surprise me.

The laptop let out a beep and the hat went silent. Agent X frowned at the screen and turned to me.

"Lets try that one more time."

He pushed at the laptop buttons again, and the hat started buzzing. We sat in silence as the hat did its work, then the laptop beeped again. He went to the screen, and muttered "Same results?"

"Show me who I have to kill."

He turned the screen towards me, showing... a picture of me.

It was easy.

When I say I found it easy to kill the person I loved most, I am not heartless. I do not lack love nor am I happy to kill anyone. I simply ended up in just the right circumstance for this final test, because the man I loved most was my father.

And what a love it was. I remember growing up I would constantly switch back and forth between idolizing and hating him, declaring every time he hurt me that I would leave him behind forever only to change my mind the moment he smiled. God, what a horribly beautiful smile.

I hold all these memories of him, back and forth as time passes. He teaches me to swim, splashing in the water and giggling together as we floated. He yells at little me for not walking fast enough. He gives me his favorite books. He hits me for a reason I can’t recall. He writes with me at the kitchen table. He rips my door off of its hinges.

Again and again and again. Memory after memory. A beautiful, kind, loving father. A bitter, abusive bastard.

He was the man I loved the most. And the one I hated most too.

I hope you understand now why it was easy for me to kill him.