“The verdict has been made and approved,” the monstrosity's voice boomed, reverberating to the core of his bones. “You’ve been deemed worthy of Heaven. Your good deeds outweighed the bad ones — you’ve inspired millions to repent. Your words and actions led people to seek the truth of afterlife.”

“That’s complete and utter bullshit,” snarled Villain, baring his teeth. Any unease he might have felt at the way his stomach warbled in the sheer presence of the monstrosity was washed away by the heat of his own outrage. “They did that because they were fucking terrified of me. I killed them, and you know it damn well! You don’t get to erase all that I’ve achieved solely because of your ridiculous whims!”

The monstrosity’s main eye — or what Villain assumed to be a main eye, the size of a tire, encased in multiple, bigger-than-Villain’s-entire-body spinning rings which were also dotted in smaller eyes that flickered around randomly — focused on him.

“The verdict has been made,” it repeated blankly.

“I’ve killed people,” barked Villain. His fingers twitched, but he wasn’t quite stupid enough to attack the thing outright. “I’ve tortured people. I’ve held them hostage, I kidnapped them, their families, their kids. I’ve made them beg for forgiveness while they’ve done nothing wrong — I’ve broken them and pieced them back together, solely to break them for the second time. Shit, if your holy book was a bucket list, I’d have checked all of it off thrice over by the time I reached twenty!"

“Good deeds outweighs the bad deeds,” the monstrosity just told him. It didn’t seem quite interested in what he was ranting about.

Villain gritted his teeth. He couldn’t even feel pain in this Gods-forsaken place, not even as he clamped his jaw hard enough that in a normal place they’d ache.

“Where is Hero?” he spat out finally, glancing grumpily at the idyllic landscape spilling out everywhere his gaze could reach. “Perhaps I shall find them and find out just how many times over can you die in Heaven. Or how far you can injure someone before your miraculous pain resistance wears off."

This gave the monstrosity a pause. Its eye spun like a soccer ball between all the rings before refocusing on Villain.

“Hero is currently located in the fourth ring of Hell,” it said pleasantly.

Villain blinked. “Excuse you?” he snapped. His fingers curled into fists, knuckles paling. “Hero — the saint, helping-grandmas-in-crossing-roads and saving-little-kittens Hero is in Hell?”

“Correct."

“I want a switch,” he managed through his teeth, barely contained rage dripping from his voice. “That’s the good, martyr thing to do, yes? I want to switch. Give Hero here, I’ll go to Hell.”

The monstrosity stayed quiet for a second and then its rings flipped a bit faster, the eyes on them blinking with dizzying speed.

“Correct, that is a good, martyr thing to do,” it murmured, “another good deed to your account, Mr Villain. I congratulate you. Unfortunately, a switch is impossible. Hero is not only judged of his own misdeeds, he also willingly stepped up to take accountability for yours due to the guilt of not having stopped you sooner. It is his penance."

Villain felt like tearing the hair out of his head.

“So what — I, who spent my entire life torturing and killing others, who sacrificed everything for my work, am supposed to sit my ass in Heaven with all the bundled toddlers and grandmas in smelly bonnets while Hero gets credit for all I've done? For all I've achieved, for all the terror I've brought?” He slammed his hands against his things, anger only rising at the complete lack of pain it brought. "Where’s your famed fucking judgement, you stupid pile of sentient rings?!”

“The verdict has been made,” the monstrosity said for the third time.

Villain opened his mouth, ready to cuss it out properly, but it didn’t stick around to wait. Its main eye turned away from him and the rings jingled — the sound grating in the absolute silence — and the next moment, it was completely gone, like a switch had been flicked on.

Villain cussed it out anyway. The landscape, beautiful and oh-so-irritating, seemed to mock him with its sun kissed hills and flowers with impossibly iridescent, delicate petals.

It didn’t matter. Villain was not letting the soft-hearted, dim-witted Hero claim credit for his life's work, whether it took him tearing down Heaven itself to accomplish that.

He’d always been great at tearing institutions down, in any case. It was time to put his skills to good use — not even Hell would stop him from ripping the Hero apart, piece by piece.