“So… must thy have one self righteous vermin as I say it?”

The “human” snarls and whispers something unnatural under their breath. People nearby all hold their heads in pain besides the “humans” date who is currently reading his menu. The “human” noticing this regains their composure. Everybody continues eating as if nothing happen.

“Vile vermin, why must you tarnish my evening.”

“I will say it then.”

The Pigeon Smirks

“Tis only a child compared to such an ageless being… or should I say horror itself? Why accompany yourself with such a youth, Ageless Horror?”

The Pigeon chuckles to themselves while ruffling their feathers. The “Human” begins to heat up with a seething anger. The Pigeon is unaffected and still laughing. Just before the “Human”’s chair succumbs to the heat, they hear a voice directly in front of them. The “human”’s date puts the menu down and looks visibly alarmed.

“Um, Stacey?”

The “Stacey” perks straights up and smiles at their date.

“Uh… yes… dear?”

The “Stacey” looks visibly uncomfortable.

“Is it just me or is there’s a pigeon on your shoulder?”

The “Stacey” briefly panics before improvising a reply.

“Uh… lunch for later. Want to share?”

The “Stacey” smiles in a unflattering way. The Pigeon stops laughing and frowns. The date looks at The “Stacey” and warmly smiles.

“I’d like that, you’re sweet. You know that?”

The date picks up the Menu. The Pigeon gags.

“Thy make me want to vomit…”

The “Stacey” smirks at pigeon”

“You know nothing and will never know of the primal feeling and deep intrinsic pleasures of the earthly realm of “dat-thing”(Dating). Let it make you suffer for all eternity as your punishment for ruining my “dat’s” (date’s). Late evening reading.”

The pigeon flys over to the dates menu. The Pigeon returns to perch on The “Stacey” shoulder looking visibly confused.

“Why does the youth continue to read only the kids menu?”

The “Stacey” thinks and immediately frowns. They call over a waiter while packing their belongings.

“Possibility succumbing to madness.”

The date gets up and starts screaming in unspoken tongues.

“Definitely succumbing to madness. Dates over then. That was an… okay 1 minute and twenty seconds.”

The “Stacey” looks visibly bummed out. The Pigeon stops and thinks. The Pigeon halo’s appears on his head as soon as he gets and idea. The Pigeon turns into a beautiful blonde male human.

“So….”

The “Stacey” is already paying for their check and leaving. She gives one last look and says:

“Just… no dude… Won’t like, what, your dad will get mad?”

The “Stacey” laughs off in the distance while The Pigeon stands there dumbfounded in his human form while the whole restaurant begins succumbing to madness this date has ensued.

The end!