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London-Roma-1980 t1_iydkw98 wrote

It's not often you get a micro that hits all the notes, but this one does. Also a good subversive take on the theme. Although I appreciate the challenge you gave yourself to make it a micro, I think something like this almost demands more -- this feels like a preview of a longer story. Perhaps you could expand the idea into a WP if one comes up in the future... or, if necessary, I'll tee one up so you can put it there.

With shorter stories, you're always going to leave something on the table, but the key you figure out here is to make it something the audience wants. I want to know other shops you'd visited. I want to hear more of the author's internal struggle to get back into life. The "And still" mechanic makes me wonder what other reminders the author sees. And most of all: does the author succeed in "out-running" their pain?

Good stuff here!

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katpoker666 t1_iydrcre wrote

Thanks so much, Duke! I definitely may explore this one more. Would have to think about how :)

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