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"Do not drink the Emperor."

"None of what you just drank was water muchacho, in fact I don't think any of it was even edible..." I spoke to my crewmate in awe.

Four of us on the ship. Me, a human of course; Jacks, a mecha of some sort; the tentacled thing that just used a container of something labeled Concentrated Mercury to quench its thirst, Rabble I called him; and finally, Steven.

The three of us stared to Rabble in amazement, and he, or, well, it, stared back in obvious obliviousness. Its face began turning green, even greener than usual.

"Wha- well I was thirsty! I needed some water." Rabble protested, tentacles flaring for effect.

"Ah yes. Well the capsule labeled water would have sufficed then" Jacks gestured over to the water capsule on the wall with a robotic hand as Rabble's face turned a shade greener. "Well, that isn't good." she continued.

"Nope! How did you even get on the crew anyway hombr-" before I could finish I was shoved aside by an almost human hand. Steven gripped Rabble by the shoulders and launched it into a divit built into the floor labeled Med-Bay, the words drawn on sloppily in orange paint.

"Hey I think I'm actually fine-". Rabble tried to get the words out, but with a push of a button by Steven a glass slide flew over the med-bay, silencing the toxic sipping alien. A screen then flew up from the floor.

Analyzing....Analyzing.....Well that's not good., the screen displayed in bold yellow text. Followed by:

1 Liter Concentrated Mercury

2 Cups Swamp Extract

1 Vial of Unknown Radioactive Liquids

2 Vials of Known Radioactive Liquids (Greemly Excretion...Gross)

Inside the tube Rabble craned its gelatinous neck to try and read the screen. Upon seeing the analysis he rolled his one, massive eye, a gesture he'd picked up from me no doubt. On the outside Jack's and my mouths dropped open as if we were trying to catch Crantumium Flies.

Swamp extract?! We had to gather that sludge fully suited and use a titanium scoop, even then we barely got the two cups, and this troglodyte drank it all!

Steven was already reaching for a scalpel out of the med-pak.

"Hey uh..Steve-o. Whatcha gunna do with that bad boy?" I spoke with uncertain certainty.

"Steven. It's Steven, though I do appreciate the nickname. I planned to cut open Rabblenous, locate its stomach sac, cut it open, and retrieve our samples."

Inside the tube Rabble, having now seen his fate, was now banging his tentacles against the glass. I was just as keen to get our samples back as the next guy, or whatever human adjacent thing Steven was, but cutting open a crewmate was just unprofessional.

"Well let's not do anything too rash...yet. Ok computer how long will Rabble take to digest any of that stuff."

If the computer had eyes to roll it would have, but due to the fact that it didn't instead the words appeared across its screen: Eye Roll as a replacement

...Fine...5 days 23 hours. But cutting the beast open would be faster and far more fun.

"Not the point. Ok Steven, hear me out. The rest of the team gets out here in 2 days. So we leave Rabble here, gather some different samples, and wait for them with the stomach pump. If they're not out here in 2 days then..."

I heard the sound of more bottles clinking, dropping to the ground, interrupting my gamble. Upon looking over a single of Rabble's slimy tentacles was rifling through the "Biohazard" bin. Rabble glanced over to the tentacle, then back to us, then back to the tentacle, which continued its search.

Jack grabbed a second and third scalpel from the shelf, handing me the extra.

damn dawg, you hit the jack pot. literally.

well it don't feel like it.

damn i wish it was me man, why'd everyone else have to go before me, man.

don't let the other guys hear you say that, bro, you're gonna get in some deep shit.

what? they already know, dude, everyone has their profiles and shit, and it ain't like we didn't do that awkward ass introduction shit.

yeah, yeah, whatever. shut up.

it's been 7 days, dave. 7 days. maybe you're just not meant to die.

what's with y'all bettarians and seeking death, anyway?

it's a glorious thing, to pass on, to see the other side. once we reach the proper age, we will start to instinctively seek the opportunity for death. it's not as suicidal as you think it is, dave, stop thinking like a human.

hey man, if that's a kink thing, that's for y'all to figure out.

it's not a kink, dawg, it's like puberty. i just tend to want to die. you ok?

yeah, i'm just purple and swollen and itchy and headache and everything. i'll survive.

yeah, i sure am glad we had some boahrod anti-venom on hand. it saved your life, good call on packing it. i keep forgetting that humans don't have shells.

yeah, well, we're just insides growing on the outside, there's no logic to this world.

that must fuckin' suck, not being able to crawl up buildings and upside down.

yeah, well, four limbs is enough.

i suppose so.

I like that you didn't go for the "h2o is toxic to everyone but humans" storyline.

Ya, i feel like trope like that are too overused

"Oh no..." Said the human behind me. "how many of those vials did you drink?"

"Umm all of them... so like 12?" responded my crewmate.

"Ugh... Captain can we please put Johnny Reckless here in isolation?' Asked the Human.

"Harry, is it?" Asked the captain. After a nod from Harry he continued "is there an infections disease or parasite risk?"

Thinking for a moment and clearly about to say Yes the human gets a perplexed look before saying "Not exactly??" with visible confusion.

"hold on my family is explaining it to me, I was just collecting samples for my grandfather." the human closed his eyes and put a finger to his temple.

The rest of the crew saw what was happening and rushed over to watch. "Oh My God the human is about to channel!!!" said one excited crewmate.

"I've never gotten to witness one in person!" said another.

"they don't usually commune with the collective consciousness in public this must be something HUGE!" said

assuming a stance of confidence and pride Harry began to speak in an authoritative tone.

"Our Family has always believed that above all the water remembers, all life began in the water and all life eventually returns to the water. We have returned to reclaim the ancestors of humanity so they can be restored and reunited with their families." with a sign Harry continued in his usual tone. "okay so the deal is we have always believed that a human could be reconstructed by the collective back into its original form once it has been broken back down into its base components. We just never had the technology to identify the base components accurately enough do so."

'like the ship of Theseus." asked an Asgard their large eyes staring intently. "So your concern is now that our crewmate has taken your family hostage you will not be able to recover them?"

"well I wouldn't accuse him of kidnapping since its an honest mistake but yes. It took all of our families resources to track down and identify water samples from the correct time periods containing the needed materials." Harry said waving a hand at the now incredibly embarrassed crewmate.

"Well then I believe another Earth concept will solve the issue for us and once thats done i would love to help you continue your research. This could be the solution the Asgard have been looking for in regards to our cloning degradation and restoration of our collective." Said the Asgard.

Confused one of the crewmates ask "what concept?"

"I believe they are referring to "Montezuma's revenge". before doubling over laughing

"indeed" said a human figure next to the Asgard.

What the hell?

Fusion of a bunch of stories.

Wait, so what race is Steven?

Human adjacent is what I was going for, but unspecified on purpose.

Uh

You know what? Fuck it, I like that you wrote something and posted it. I enjoyed reading it. Please continue writing.

Mix if a bunch of stories and concepts.

You should try it. Even just throwing writing prompts helps.

I have tried it! I'm not that good at it. I seem to struggle with driving plotlines, you know? I will just go on and on describing what the characters are doing. Usually walking. In a way, it is the complete opposite of the writing style shown by you on this post. I don't want you to interpret my "what the hell" as overly critical. I was fucking cranky. Sorry about that.

Edit: added link.

If you want an example of some of my writing, here is a response to a prompt I responded to. I think that it really illustrates my inability to drive a plotline. Feel free to read it, ignore it or critique it.

I try to not read malice in other words. And if that's what let's your brain relax then write to an audience of one.

Or do what I do pretend you are a cool literary character and fix potholes you don't like.

Ok

Love it :) read as much as my ADHD brain would let me but I loved the creation.

I'm sure I saw a similar prompt before. But I guess that is, not wanting to sound like Thanos, inevitable.

I, my friend and a co-worker were on a research trip to some planet a few Lightyears away. I was taking notes, my co-worker was reading, and my friend was i thought examining an animal. We needed to go to a next location, so i say that to my friend. No response. I say it again, harder now. No response. That's when i see him there, crouching over it. That's when i realize.

I grab my co-worker's arm and tell him that we need to go. He looks at my friend and doesn't hesitate. We pack our shit as fast as we can, get on the ship and get the fuck out of there. We needed to do that because we knew what would've happened if we stayed there any longer.

You see, when we first observed this substance, only one member of the research team of 300 got back to tell the story. It was fucking horrifying. He said that one person drank it, and the substance infects them, and the people that touch that person. But that's not all. If you become infected, you won't be saved. It looks exactly like water, but it's camouflage isn't the most dangerous. He died only seconds after he told his story to me. Nothing seemed wrong, he just..... dropped.

When it infects you, you are instantly braindead and it controls you. The problem is that this thing isn't stupid. In fact, it's main tactic is to stay where it is, and eventually people are gonna gather around you. It keeps it's head down, because the eye color changes. When there are enough humans standing around, it starts to attack. And it's fast. Faster than we thought the human body could physically move. That is why I told my co-worker that we needed to get the fuck out of there, because who knows what it's gonna do.

Ah, I see.