“No man shall ever love you!” said the witch.

“Oh my God, thank you!” the woman replied.

The witch shot her a confused look.

“Oh, you think you’ll be safe because you’re lesbian? Well, for your information, “man” is also a gender neutral term. So any and all humans across the realm are affected by my spell.”

“Aren’t there other species of humanoids, actually?” asked the woman.

“Doesn’t matter! My curse affects all sentient civilizations that walk on two feet.”

“How about-“

“Swim in the sea, burrow through the earth, soar into the sky, etc, etc.” the witch finished.

“I’m asexual, by the way.” chirped the woman.

The witch glared at her with burning rage. Never had a mortal shrugged off her curses so nonchalantly.

Determined to win, she said, “And my curse prevents all forms of love, Romantic, sexual, platonic, you name it. No one will ever show affection towards you again!”

The woman smiled.

“Then it’s a good thing I’m a misanthropic monarch who cares only about appearances and not about friendship.” said the Evil Queen. “You should have just turned me into a frog and be done with it.”