I'll give the Greeks one thing: they love columns.

The rowhouse of Father Theodore Antonopoulous was squeezed at the end of the block, and my wonderful girlfriend was waiting for me. I almost introduced my tail before I heard the flutter of wings and a loud pop just behind my right ear.

"You've had me waiting here five minutes too long. We're late!"

"I saw a pigeon." I said looking down at my shoes. "Hey, uh, did you fail to mention anything I should know before we go in?" I looked at Ali patiently, spritzing the little travel cologne she liked me in and handing it back for her to purse it.

"Like what? There's nothing surprising. I'm not gonna have a crazy Uncle or some big secret to spring on you!" She laughed, putting her arm through mine to walk up the stairs to the front door.

"Yeah. I guess that's true." I knew I was stuck, but maybe it wouldn't be all that bad.

There was a crucifix in the foyer. Tasteful, but definitely a sign. I could also hear the chuckling as I hid my startlement and started to take off my shoes. Ali pinched me, making sure I knew that was a no-go before slipping out of her heels into a set of slippers with a fancy trimmed A on them.

"You're a guest. It's rude to take your shoes off."

"And you get slippers?"

"Of course. Why do you think I'd wear those heels the whole night?"

I snuck a kiss on her cheek just in time, as two older Greek women, one thin and waifish, the other more in the shape of my date, came to greet us at the door. Ali laughed, rushing to hug and be kissed and prodded by the women, as each looked over her to stare appraisingly at me.

They made small talk as I stood there, feeling a bit like a chicken on display. The thin one looked me up and down like one of those bobbing water birds while the more shapely one measured me like she was taking notes.

"Gabriel! These are my aunts, Thali and Daphne." Ali pulled me to them, and I was given what I've come to call the Once Over. Rapid fire questions, expecting few answers, and a general poking and prodding of my physical, mental, and spiritual development.

"What are you studying? Oh. Art is nice. Medicine, Law? Those are real lessons." "Where are you from? Ahh, no settled place then." "Alexandria had told us do little about you..." "Are you working? Ahh, must be nice to not work during college." "What is your birthday? Ahh, I see, a Capricorn."

Then the one I had been dreading.

"So, what does your father do?"

I froze, not sure of how to answer, before a man the size of a bear came to my rescue. He had his sleeves rolled up, wiping his hands on an apron that said φίλα τον μάγειρα across the chest.

"Let the boy breathe. Come now, Gabriel isn't it? I need assistance in the kitchen. My wife, she is late, but the work of food is done by men as well as women in my house!"

I felt my feet almost leave the floor as the bear that seemed to be Ali's dad dragged me into the kitchen, from the fire of the nosey aunts to the little frying pan.