Comments
HelloWorld1352 t1_irhv13u wrote
I thought there was going to be a plot twist where Addie was inadvertently manipulating Melanie’s life to get her to like her. Maybe the stuff with her family only happened in the first place so that Addie would be able to comfort her.
sootspot t1_irhvfcc wrote
The powers of the notebook in and of themselves are somewhat manipulative. I don't think Addie was using it with bad intentions though. I think she genuinely really liked Melanie and wanted to get to know her better and felt like she needed a supernatural or magical way to get Melanie to notice her. But as another commenter suggested, perhaps Melanie is the magical one, really liked Addie all along, and the notebook never really did anything. To be honest, I have not fleshed this story out that far haha.
The stuff that happened with Melanie's family had been happening for a long time before Addie ever wrote her name in the notebook. Addie was just the first person she ever told about it. Now was it because Addie had gained Melanie's trust artificially due to the notebook? That might be one of the main conflicts of this story!
ALuckyMushroom t1_irgkxyk wrote
I ship them so much
sootspot t1_irgnv89 wrote
Me too. 💚
DIGI-LRD t1_irhql2s wrote
i like this maybe just maybe you’ll write a book about this and at the end addie will realize the book was never magic but melanie was magic and could mind read and the entire time she actually liked her or something maybe idk
sootspot t1_irhr3qz wrote
Holy shit I love that idea!!!! This is absolutely one of my favorite stories I've written for this subreddit. I would totally expand on it.
DIGI-LRD t1_irhsnad wrote
yesss one piece of advice is avoid love triangles that end up being really cringey as long as there not cringy and have a dramatic turn out of nowhere that no one can predict your more then golden sootspot
sootspot t1_irhszr1 wrote
Oh man I have never tried to write a love triangle haha. Dramatic turns I can do! And thanks for the lovely feedback. 💚
DIGI-LRD t1_irhthga wrote
yeah i actually really believe in you and this story and can’t wait for more parts but i think avoiding a love triangle would be better but this is all up to you soot i’ll be waiting for more
sootspot t1_irhtl8i wrote
You're so kind. 🥹 Thank you. Your feedback made my night.
DIGI-LRD t1_irhtu6p wrote
aye that’s what i’m here for the first sentence had me intrigued i’ll be waiting for the next parts of the story maybe when you finish writing them you can message me them so i can read it i worry i might forget about this because i read a lot of writing prompts and stories
sootspot t1_irhu79x wrote
You got it. ☺️
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sootspot t1_irftfot wrote
MELANIE BRISTOW
Her name inked at the top of the first page sent shivers down my spine. I wouldn't know if it worked until I saw her at school the next day.
...
"Oh hi!" she said to me as she sat down in her seat one ahead of mine in algebra class. "You're Addison, right?"
"Yeah," I bashfully replied. "Addie."
"Cool," she replied, turning around to face the front of the class.
//
Likes to wear leggings. Has a nose ring.
...
"Hey Addie!" she greeted me. "I like your shirt."
I looked down at my Dungeons & Dragons graphic tee. "Thanks."
//
Beautiful eyes. Gentle smile. Smells like summertime.
...
"Hey, do you like coffee?" she asked, pulling up to her seat with two Starbucks cups in hand. "I don't know why, but they gave me an extra one today."
"Oh!" I said, accepting the gift from her. "Thank you."
I saw her blush as she handed me the cup. "Melanie," I said, willing courage into my voice, "how do you think you did on the test yesterday?"
She sighed and then smiled at me. "I'm going to need to do some extra credit if I'm going to pass this class."
"If you wanted, we could study together sometime," I suggested.
Her face lit up. "Yes!" She exclaimed. "I would love that!"
"Cool," I mumbled and smiled.
//
Loves coffee. Bad at math. Intoxicating in her beauty. Might like me.
...
"Addie," she said, her voice low and serious as she sat down at her desk in algebra with me. "I need to tell you something."
"What?" I replied, her tone causing me to worry about her.
"Last night... My brother..." she was suddenly on the verge of tears. I had never seen her like this before. "My older brother hit me. And my mom. Things are really bad at home for me right now."
"Melanie," I whispered, "you need to tell someone."
"I'm telling you!" she whispered back as the teacher started class.
//
Unsafe home. Troubled family. Came to me for help.
...
She found me in the hall before class.
"Addie, I really need a hug."
Without even blinking I embraced her, taking her into my arms and just holding her. That moment seemed to freeze in time, the noise around us dimming to nothing in my ears. I drank up everything about her.
And she drank me up as well.