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gdbessemer t1_iteltc0 wrote

#Spam

So glad to make your acquaintance, Jon Thorpe.
I’ve got such wonderful news to report.
You’ve won a million dollars! Don’t think–
Take action now, just click on this link.

Hmph. Saw through that ruse, did you?
Well, Mr. Thorpe, I saw through you too.
Your spam folder’s swollen with unopened mail
Which I sniffed and I followed, a digital trail.

Knock knock.
Don’t cower.
I know you’re still there.
Eating canned food and sweating in stained underwear.
I know all about you: each caliginous desire,
Melting your heart like a sputtering fire.

‘Tis the twenty-first century, Jon! Nothing’s sacred.
Not cloying love nor squirming hatred.
So, what do you say? Feeling risky, wink wink?
Take the chance of your life–and click on this link!

You—trashed me.

Ok, you sniveling shit.
I’m back in your inbox. Let’s get to it!

Your password was breached:
Jens-a-bitch-253
Got dumped, hm?
Good. Sent a text to her feed!
“My life has been awful since we’ve been apart.
Please Jen, take pity on this broken heart!”

Sent a mail to mother about all the lies
you told, to cover for your petty crimes.
Wouldn’t she like to know of your fiction
Of what became of this year’s tuition?

Told your boss how you’re lazy, your friends, how you’re mean,
Told your whole contact list of your sins and your dreams.
I know you, Jon! I’m the sum of every dread
The total vitriol of your each forum thread.

I’ll show the whole world the Jon that I know!
That is, unless you click on this– Oh!

See, that wasn’t so hard. Didn’t mean to scare ya.
Just wanted to show hot singles in your area!


WC: 284

Liked what your read? Get more at /r/gdbessemer!

8

katpoker666 t1_itggxgf wrote

A GD poem in all its glory—hilarious! Loved it!

2